Sunday, January 15, 2012

Overwhelmed much? Happens to the best of us!

Night shifts suck. I don't mind working them myself. When it's just me, it's a great time for me to focus and move forward in my productivity without all the usual distractions that occur during the day. I do my best writing (song writing or otherwise) at odd hours of the night. But eventually, I end up feeling like I do nothing but sleep and work. Now, My Sailor working such crazy hours, I feel like we miss out on all of the day. I'm finding that it's hard for me to start off on the right foot when he's sleeping until 2 hours before work, getting up just in time to get dressed and go.

I'm not complaining about him, per say. I completely understand that he's completely, legitimately exhausted. And he does do the best he can with time off. For example, he had last night off and really tried to make it great quality time. We went to go see Beauty and The Beast in 3D (just as amazing as it's 2D predecessor), and we went out to a great dinner at a new place (Brix 25) in Gig Harbor. It was delightful. But afterwards, he was awake until 5am! I gave up and passed out around 2:30am. (Which is SUPER late for me and probably accounts for part of what I'm feeling - it always screws me up the next day.) But when it's all said and done, I sort of miss the guy who used to give me a break from being the one that gets up with the dog on weekends (he gets up around 8:30am-9am to go outside - and since we live in an apartment, someone has to take him out on the leash).  Since the dog's wake up call is only a few hours after My Sailor goes to bed, it's on me all the time - which isn't any different than any other time I'm flying solo, really).  It isn't really fair of me to hope he'll get up and take the dog out. After all, Clydas is my dog - my responsibility chiefly. At the same time, it's not healthy for me to try to stay up until he gets home (which is after midnight or after 3:30am, depending on the day).

So today I realized I need an attitude adjustment if we're going to get through this stage without me being Miss Annie Annoyable all the time.

So I'm taking a bit of my own advice.

"Control what you can. Let the Rest go." And "Health first. If you're not healthy, you can't help anyone else." 

What can I take control of today that can change the way I feel?

The most obvious thing that came to mind is my living space. So I did a bunch of housework, ran all the errands, and took down the Christmas stuff. It was a great start to feeling productive. If you've read this blog for any length of time, you know that I'm far from a domestic goddess. I'm just not one of those women who naturally finds great joy in housework. I like things clean, but clutter just tends to happen no matter how "on top of things" I try to stay. Well, when I love my living space, I find I'm MUCH more motivated. But when I don't, it's oh-so-easy to just let everything slide because it feels very temporary and I can't WAIT to leave. Truly, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't mention how I can't WAIT to move, so it's safe to say I have a mean case of "I Can't Wait To Move"-itis in here. See, this apartment was always intended to be a "short term" move - like 6-8 months. In April, I'll be hitting 1 year here. There is a light at the end of the tunnel - the lease is up in May.

  Tomorrow is my birthday, so I want to spend my personal New Years as I have in the past - looking forward to the next great year coming.

 Tonight has been a myriad of stuff. I'll just say this:
I'm leaving My Sailor a note that says "Don't ask about the stoneware cooking sheet, the futon cover, the chunk of paint missing from the living room wall, or the Baking Soda if you value your life." Luckily, I think he does...

1 comment:

  1. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed. It looks like you're being smart recognizing it and doing things to take some of the edge off. You are also so right about needing to take care of you in order to worry about others!