An Ode to the Magic Makers

 

The Impossible Girl playing Delivery Elf

Ode to the Makers of Magic

To the Bakers of Cookies

And Hangers of Lights

To the Bells the will Carol

And Keep Spirits Bright

To the Great Stocking Fillers

And Tradition Maintainers

To the Cooks and the Drivers

And Spiritual Sustainers

To those who buy gifts

But forget their own

Because Filling Your Stocking

Would be ego overblown

But when Eyes of Loved ones

Light up with Care

And their joy and excitement

Leaks into the air

The empty stockings don't matter

Because a Gift's just a Thing

To be Lost, Aged, or Broken

As Time takes a Swing

But when All has been Gifted

And all been received,

The Makers of Magic

Find Peaceful Reprieve.    

Christmas Eve is my favorite day of the year. I get to wax nostalgic while I put one more in the books. And as a mother and military spouse, I'm chiefly in charge of working around insane schedules, I haven't had the time or energy to write about a lot of them since moving to Washington and becoming a parent. But Christmas Eve, when all the prep is done and the Christmas fun has been had, I find a deep sense of peace.  As I reflect on what I did well and what I need to work on for next year, I also look back on other Decembers. 

The One about the Paper Tree - A little backstory about my first Christmas in Washington. It's much like now, only I have made a few friends since. I'd moved to Washington from my hometown in spring, and this was my first year so far away from my family. They didn't come to visit and I couldn't go down there - and, of course, My Sailor and I started off our first year married missing every major holiday from October - January. So I got creative and found some joy. It's quite a tale!

The One That Almost Wasn't - The Impossible Girl was 2, and we were really struggling. I mean, during her first 2 years of life, we'd had foreclosure notices on the house, had the electricity and water turned off at different moments, and struggled to feed ourselves - however we still 'made too much' to qualify for aid. Lucky, our situation didn't stay that way, but a couple years were REALLY rough. This one was definitely a year where we learned about grace in a while new way.

The One in Ensenada - The December before Covid, the stars aligned, and we were able to book a Disney Cruise over the holiday leave period (we don't get that leave this year).  What I mean is, his Leave Dates aligned with a Cruise that was on a deep Military Discount, and he'd gotten a bonus that would cover it and a little more. We were a little concerned about taking a cruise for Christmas, but Disney somehow managed to make the whole thing so effortless that we all can't wait to do it again. So 3 years later, we got lucky and did it again (to a different destination).  Unfortunately, we likely won't be able to take this path again until 2027 or later, but man, was it ever fantastic!

We don't have set traditions in this house - which isn't something I expected. I've always found solace in traditions. 

But maybe, just maybe, a healthy sense of wanderlust IS a holiday tradition?

Or maybe I could just use a vacation.... 

Being a Super Model AKA The One that Comes with a Sound Track

***Click on the links you find throughout this blog for a bit of a background track - and consider buying the singles and supporting the artists. I make NO money off of this blog (as always). It's a labor of love and I'll always share things that impact my life.***

I have always hated failing and been afraid of regretting a decision. Most decisions I've made have been carefully overthought, weighed out, and measured by then "Will I regret this in a year?"  As I've gotten older and am now raising The Impossible Girl, I deeply examine the ramifications of those overthinking decisions. Chronically Cautious has made me err much more to the side of 'safe'. 

And here I am, trying to encourage The Impossible Girl to try different things - to be a 'beginner' and make mistakes. I realize I've done a terrible job of modeling that in my life. How can I possibly expect her to step out of her comfort zone if I'm so sunk deep in mine lately? How can I expect her to reach out and make connections beyond her school yard, if I'm not willing to extend myself and show her how it's done? 

We've pretty much had the same tiny circle for most of her life. 

Luckily, I have a bit of a restless spirit and a bit of wanderlust, so I plan trips and find small events to expose us both too. Since this may be our last holiday season together for a couple years, I'm doing everything I can to plan fun things to do locally (we can not travel this year to my family, and my family isn't coming to see us either, so we are working on our own holiday schedule.)  Last week, I took my kiddo (who struggles with crowds and loud noises) back to the 5th Avenue Theater for a stunning rendition of Mary Poppins. 

The closest I could get her to taking a picture with the Christmas tree at intermission.

The 5th Avenue theater offers tactile sensory experiences for folks to feel everything from wigs, to costumes and tap shoes.

We spent the night in a hotel downtown (another experience she loves) and the next day walked around the area. It was REALLY stormy, but we found a Gameworks arcade and played a bunch of new games. (Including one we loved that was COMPLETELY in Japanese.)

The hotel was doing a holiday party event - which included crafting ornaments, cards, and wreathes, while enjoying smores, snacks, and drinks. It was different, quiet, and lovely.

Yes - we do 'different' things, but they are generally all within a very 'safe' wheelhouse. We aren't really 'new' to theater (the shows just differ). We're also not new to arcade games (though we do get lots of practice losing). 

But what have I truly been a beginner at within the last decade? Not much... honestly, not anything. 

Since the art school that had an after school program at her school cancelled it, The Impossible Girl hasn't taken an interest in anything else. I really hate for her life to consist of the tiny world at her tiny school and Speech and Occupational Therapy. She needs other people in her life beyond the classroom. But how can she build those connections when she doesn't want to do anything new because "I'm not good at that." 

I mean, we are in the stage of grades and passing and failing. We have lots of discussions that mistakes happen - and we learn more from our mistakes than our successes, but do we actually live that? Do I, actually live that. 

Do I actually LIVE that? 

Or do I keep myself in a space where I'm not likely to fail because innately feel like mistakes/failures are a negative thing, rather than just a part of life?

Today, we took The Impossible Girl ice skating. We haven't been ice skating since last January, but she liked it then, despite being a true beginner at it. 

Now, for context for my newer readers - I'm from Southern California.

 Ice skating wasn't a common past time in an area of the world where Christmas trees and palm trees are interchangeable.

  When I was younger, I saw my mother have an accident on the ice, cutting open her face on the ice while ice skating. It scared me away from skating for a decade or more. Once I overcame that, I still didn't make it a regular part of my life. 

But now I'm knocking on the door of 45 years old, and it's time I allowed myself to be a beginner. 

To try something new and mess up!  Sure, the cost may feel higher now that I'm older. My body doesn't respond the same way to some mistakes (I'm currently icing my ankle and back in my walking boot...), but ya know what?

 I'd rather wear out than rust out. 

So we went ice skating today, in an effort to get our family MOVING more and sitting in front of screens less. And she LOVED it just as much as the previous time. It is noticeably difficult for her. Her OT wants her to work on leg strength and balance has always been a challenge - but she proves every day that she can do hard things. 

There is one way to build confidence in humans. Present them with a task they can't do - until they discover they can  do it, and repeat the process. It's the same for children and adults. 

This week, we also did a Parent's Night Out at Code Ninjas! We knew NO ONE there. They were very welcoming and, though she didn't make any friends, she had a good time. She did something completely new in a place that was 100% mistake friendly. We'll be exploring her interest in coding further as well.

Yes, there is truly value to trying something and knowing when to quit. There is absolutely no point in beating against a brick wall. But some brick walls were meant to be scaled. 

How do I plan to continue building on this pattern of building strength through discomfort myself? 

Currently, I'm looking into archery lessons on the weekends, doing a stair climb at Seattle Center, and embracing the uncertainty or being a 'noob' at something. 

What else can I be new at in 2025?  After all, if I can model that failure isn't fatal and growth doesn't come from comfort zones, she might just decide to take a risk and change the world someday. 

She's already changing it - just by being the mighty force she is every day. 

The Busy Season

We finally have some of our Christmas decorations up! Since we aren't traveling for the holidays this year, we decided to expand our holiday decorations and events this year. Since Thanksgiving, the Impossible Girl and I have done a local craft fair and seen the Nutcracker together. We also have tickets to Mary Poppins at the stunning 5th Avenue Theater.  

While she has no interest in taking dance classes herself, she does have interest in her friends. She wanted to be sure she was there to support her friends dancing on stage. (And it got us out of the house while My Sailor wrote a paper for school.)

As a family, we're trying to build more and more memories together to keep us afloat should My Sailor not be around for the holidays next year. So far, it's included trying out Seattle's Musuem of Illusions. 

We play at home Saturdays and Sundays, because, if I'm honest, the weeks are a blur - and it's not something I feel good about. I rest assured that it's just a season in life right now - but I also have the glaring reminder that we only get this once. 

One childhood with this marvelous kiddo.

As the next deployment season looms, I find the joy now as I gear up to take on more of the load of life myself. I wonder how my schedule will need to adjust to accommodate whatever changes to our life that it may bring. 

Typically, Monday through Friday, The Impossible Girl has school and homework. Most days start at 6am for me, having me on the road around 745am to drop the kiddo off at school and head to work in the woods. There, I work until at least 1:30 and head back into town to launch into Personal Training world. I get about 15 minutes to change and then I have at least 1 client before I go pick up The Impossible Girl from school. Sometimes My Sailor can help with that. Sometimes he can't. Then I usually have 2 more clients before dinner. Then it's hang out for 2 hours, bath and bed. We get up and do it all over again, but tack on as much homework as we can get done in the morning in the scramble to get to work as close to on time as I can.  Saturday mornings I get up early to spend some time watching cartoons and sipping hot beverages with The Impossible Girl before I go to work for another 4-6 hours. 

  Sunday we've reserved for Family Day. We aim to spend it together, though there is no guarantee that My Sailor will get it off of work. 

  The schedule is undecidedly wild currently. My Sailor basically works 6-7 days a week, including 24+ hour shifts, and I work 2 jobs 6 days a week. We do it all without the help of childcare, after school activities (aside from Occupational and Speech therapies located in a city 90 minutes away round trip). 

It's really helpful to have some special days on the calendar this month. As a family, we are attending an event at the Hyatt for the holidays, and after Christmas we have tickets to Enchant - a light display at Lumen Feild. We are working on a time to hit up ZooLights at Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium as well. Not sure when yet... 

  The family time making memories is worth it to not travel this year. Sure, I haven't seen my family in over a year - but the airplane works both ways, so the door is always open for them to join us up here if they choose to. This year, everyone is working around the holidays.

 There is a lot in life we don't get to choose. And honestly, I am 100% sure this schedule and pace of life isn't going to be sustainable, but we are making the most of this. 

  

It's not the stuff that makes the holidays. It's the smiles and the memories that truly buoy us and keep spirits afloat for the long separations coming up.