Monday, August 29, 2011

And Fantasy Football takes the Lead!

So tomorrow is My Sailor's birthday and I was working hard to make plans, until he reminded me... That's the night of his Fantasy Football draft. Well, since it's his birthday - he calls the shots! So Fantasy Football Night it is! Normally, I'd try to plan a nice dress-up-and-paint-the-town kind of birthday, but I guess that takes the pressure off of that. In fact, I offered to bake him a cake, but he said he likes pie for birthdays instead. So I think I'm going to grab an awesome pie at some point tomorrow so that's set up at least.

And his birthday present is here, ready and waiting for him. Just have to wrap it and sign the card!

I guess I should be grateful that he's content with such a simple celebration, but I get the feeling that he just doesn't "feel" like a celebration right now. We don't have many friends out here just yet, so it's awkward to invite people you're just getting to know to a small birthday party, but I'm sure we'll find a bigger way to celebrate this weekend. Hopefully he'll get Labor day off so we can get away and have some fun.

The impending deployment lingers in the shadows, but most days it doesn't bother us at all. Some days it's easy to forget about it. Some days, it's not. One night in particular, he was tired and I was frustrated, and Clydas needed a walk. So I took Clydas for a walk, quietly fumed while at the same time trying to talk sense into myself. When I returned, I opened the door to find the lights dimmed, a candle burning, the dishes done, and soft instrumental Disney music playing and a little wine on the table. It's pretty hard to still be annoyed after coming home to that! After getting in my pj's we enjoyed the wine and just snuggled for a while when it hit me a little. It was as if all of a sudden I didn't want him to leave, even though it's months away still...But this is how I expected it to happen, a few tears at a time until he actually leaves. I'm not complaining - don't get me wrong. I know it will probably be equally as hard on him. Yes, we've been friends long distance forever, but intimacy doesn't come easily for me, so it'll be difficult to be apart (with the possibility of zero contact) for so long. But being sad that he's leaving is different than being "anxious" or "afraid". I have zero fear for us as a couple in being able to get through the many adjustments that are ahead. Focusing on staying patient with ourselves and going easy on each other is terribly helpful - so far, it's something we're pretty good at.

Most days, we are just fine, but I find I miss him more when he has duty and the weekends seem shorter and shorter. As much as I love performing, I only have so much time, so I'm taking a short break from theater to get the most out of the next months with My Sailor - but on the other side of the coin, I've joined a Women's Volleyball Team! We start up in late September, so I'm hoping My Sailor will get to come to game or two (and I hope I get my old overhand ace serve back!)

Anyway - We're trying to figure out what we're going to do with the lease here. If our upstairs neighbors move out, we could live here for another 6-9months. It would give us an inexpensive place to lay our heads while we save up to buy a house. OR we could rent a larger, more comfortable place - but it would mean moving while he's gone, or paying rent at 2 places for an extra month. OR we could try to get a larger unit here (but for the same price, we could rent a house, so renting a house sounds so much better...) which would mean either paying an extra $200 to transfer to a different unit... So there are lots of options, and I know we'd LOVE to buy - we'd just have to prioritize next year. I have a feeling we'd spend a lot less on going out if we loved where we live. Not to mention I'm sure I'd sleep and work better without all the constant banging around upstairs.

It's off to bed for me. It's almost midnight and I will need to get up early to get all my work done and to get things ready for tomorrow!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Stonger+Faster=Lighter? And a Few words on my Forced Perspective

So I'm feeling like a stronger runner, which is awesome. Running a mile no longer exhausts me, which is AWESOME. But does Stonger + Faster = Lighter?

Not necessarily. Actually, I'm up 4lbs from my lowest last week.

I do understand a little bit of this. It's probably a combo between 'that time of the month', fighting off an illness (My Sailor has had a NASTY cold for about a week), and a little bit of unhealthy fuel I've been putting in lately (a trip to the brewery and some movie theater candy). I've also upped my calorie intake since I was making almost ZERO head way, so part if this might be an adjustment to that too. I'm not going to freak out, but I will admit to a little frustration. I've been drinking TONS of water lately, so I'm hoping that flushes everything out.

Okay, so the fitness stuff is what it is - a constant work in progress that I feel good about. It's something I do for me.  So let's move on to the other topic today.

I'm a reader and frequent commenter on a diverse group of blogs. I guess I like learning what I can from other people's stories, and share what I've learned during mine. But I'm aware that sometimes a different perspective can come off as "holier-than-thou" which really isn't my intention. When this occasionally hits a nerve w/ a blogger, it reminds me to take a look back at my shared perspective, and see where it came from. After all, we are products of our varied life experiences. So here's something that got me thinking:

Why don't I care more about fashion/beauty?
I spent most of my youth trying to get into things other girls my age were interested in. Honestly, I gave up. Sure, I'll window shop every once in a while, but since I've also lived with a very set budget (or something to save for - like an annual vacation), I have a very clear list of what is a necessity in my book and what is an "extra". Things that are "extras" come last. Fashion that doesn't stand the test of time is an "extra" on that list. If I'm out of fashion for one season, I really don't care. I go for comfort first. When I have something to look forward to (currently, a wedding, visiting family over the holidays, possibly a move...) the "extras" that include "stuff" go on the back burner entirely. I'd rather spend my "extra" money on going out and sharing an experience w/ My Sailor or friends, than on myself.  Though maybe I should go a little easier on this one and give myself a little MORE permission to splurge one ME, though splurging on someone else FEELS like splurging on me when I get to share it with them. Complicated topic, isn't it?

I guess I have a little different view of the world. (Please don't read "better", just different - I ment what I typed there.)  I spent a LOT of time in my pre-30 days wondering obsessing about what other people were thinking.  I finally realized that the biggest gift we can give ourselves is being comfortable in our own skin. Once that is achieved (and I'd say I'm there 98% of the time now, I reserve 1% for wedding stuff, but that's faded over time), thoughts of what others are thinking really start to fade away. Take a moment and take a deep breath and imagine what it would feel like if you weren't worried about what someone else thought? Just for a second. What if you really didn't care what you co-workers were thinking? Or what the person the treadmill next to you thinks of your pace?  Pretty liberating feeling, isn't it?

Now, I know fashion isn't all about what we think society will think of us, but it seems so focused on that sometimes that I have a hard time separating it out, so I just lean towards "if it makes me feel good in my own skin, and it's healthy, it's all good."

 Afterall, the only person we have to be comfortable  at the end of the day, once all the shoes are put away, the make up is washed off, is the person staring back at us from the mirror.
(okay - and MAYBE your spouse and kids... but you know what I mean!)

Thursday, August 18, 2011

A little Great news while I work on more fun posts...

This past week or so, I've been waiting on the results of a submission I did to The Disney Wedding Blog. I've been following Carly's wedding blog since I stumbled upon it a couple years ago. Never thinking a Disney Wedding was within my grasp, I daydreamed and left comments, and just enjoyed the romantic snippets of special in-park parties.

Now, here I am, planning a wedding in Disney's most exotic location - Disney's Animal Kingdom! I still have to pinch myself when I think of our families gathered at one of my FAVORITE Disney parks, watching us tie the knot with the Tree of Life lit up in the background... (sigh) Does anyone else have goosebumps? I sure do!

Carly needed help, so when she put out the call, I was all about diving in! Out of over 150 applicants, Carly chose me to be a Disney Wedding Mentor! I'll be able to answer questions about some of the more removed Disney World Wedding locations for other brides - and I can't wait!

Why is it that my most rewarding jobs don't pay? (Don't worry Carly, or Celebrations Press - I'm not complaining!)

Oh yeah - and this weekend, I'm ALL ABOUT writing a new article for Celebrations Press! Hm...Maybe I need a Little Mermaid fix.... ;)

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Workout Update - Some Froggy Inspiration and Stress Management

This week is supposed to be beautiful here. Mid 70's, sunny, and BEAUTIFUL. So beautiful, that I decided to get back on the 5k/day band wagon that fell apart when work and Hell Week collided (though, for the record, I walked A TON while the family was out here - between the beach, the zoo, stairs at the theater, Pioneer Square, the Seattle Underground Tour, etc - I actually LOST 1 pound). Now that my schedule has quieted down just a little, I've started to really kick it into gear in the work out front and get back on my 5K/Day challenge.

I'm very happy to announce that I'm pretty much running 2 solid miles w/o walking anymore. YEAH! It's exciting to see myself grow as an athlete (did I just call myself an ATHLETE?!) . I may never be winning races, but I seem to reach a new Personal record every month! Today I shaved 3 seconds off my mile time from August 3rd! I'll take it!
Anyway, as I've said before, I find that DAILY work outs are essential for my stress management. Especially in the next few months. While I'm excited to announce I'll be visiting my home town (and no doubt stopping at Disneyland) for the holidays, I will be spending most of my spare time up here focusing on my fitness until my next birthday.

While I can feel the Fat Girl in me saying, "That's a LOT of work. Really?!" The person I am now overpowers with an immediate, "The benefits are going to be awesome. You're gonna look and feel SO good! 32 will be THE BEST YEAR YET for your health and fitness! You can do anything."

Yet, I haven't seen a lot of changes on the scale. I guess that's a GOOD thing. It means I didn't really gain weight during Hell Week. In fact, there were many times that My Sailor had to make sure I stopped to eat something other than a Nugo Protein bar (delicious and inexpensive by the case at CostCo) and an apple. I was concerned a bit because I was operating off very little sleep, but it turns out that it all worked out and I was down 1 pound on Sunday. I will admit that i did feel a bit like a blob though since I didn't get in anything like a "structured" work out, though we coupled eating out and walking around very well.

I'm also under the impression that acting burns a lot of calories. It's exhausting to emote on such a big scale!

Anyway, as I rounded the last 1/4 mile of my 3rd and final mile today, this song popped into my head. Enjoy!

Next update will probably be later today or tomorrow and should include some Underground Tour photos!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Into The Woods! Our Opening AND Review!

I have a lot more things I'm still processing, so there will probably be a LOT of blogging going on this week, but I just wanted to throw up a quick post now to get the ball rolling. Why not start this week's blogging on a high note?
Last weekend was opening weekend for Into the Woods! I'm very glad to report that the show is getting rave reviews! 
For those of you who haven't been following the blog and don't already know, Into The Woods is considered one of the most difficult musicals to perform - and it's been my favorite since my teen years. To be in it as a strong member of the cast is a dream come true for me. True, Jack's Mother wasn't my first choice, but every time I pinch Jack's cheek or inform him (in the most annoyed and annoying tone of voice I can muster) that his cow is a "she", not a he, my heart jumps a little. I have a very clear, "Wow, I'm living the dream," moment. The talent in the cast and the talent in the directing has really pushed me to a new level here, and I can't wait to keep on growing as a singer, actress, and performer. While I loved doing community theater in California, and I learned from every production, the talent AND high skill level of this group puts me in a whole new league. I may never get a leading role, but I'm starting to remember why comic relief is so much more fun! 

You can check out some photos from the local Newspaper (the Kitsap Sun) here.

Another local theater troupe is doing Into the Woods, and you'd think they'd have a leg up on us since their production takes place IN THE WOODS. They perform OUTDOORS!
We're confine our BIG characters to the SMALL space, but... I'll let the reviewer speak for himself.
Here's the "before" interview with the director.
And "after" - The Reviewer came OPENING NIGHT! Which gave use ZERO time to work out the bugs, but it went really well anyway. :)
Click Here to read the review: "WWCA Succeeds at telling a Big Story in a Small Venue."
Here's a little slide show of some show photos. Enjoy!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Scheduling, Blood, and Showbiz!

As anyone who's worked 2+ jobs knows, sometimes prioritizing can be difficult. That's pretty much been what it's like for me this week. I expected it, but I recently found out that I'll be picking up My Sailor's dad tomorrow. While I have no problems with this really - I thought I'd share what the next 24 hours has in store for me, just in case I don't end up being able to post here until next week.

So here's tomorrow's schedule:

Wake up: 5:15 am
Walk the dog, make breakfast
Drive to base and back: 6 am
Work: 6:30 am - 5pm
Lunch break: 30 minutes, walk the dog
Rehearsal: 6 pm -9:30pm
Work out, shower, dinner, prepare for company
Leave for Seattle: 11 pm
Return from Seattle: 1am-ish, Friday
See company is settled in, bed time around 1:30ish probably.
Wake up: 6:15am
Walk the dog, make breakfast.
Drive to Base and back: 7am

THANK GOD I'M TAKING THE REST OF FRIDAY OFF! All things said this week, I'm giving myself a break from the 30 day 5k. If I get to it, GREAT, but I'm going to do SOMETHING every day this week. Saturday, we're planning on going to the park and the zoo! I can't wait!

My Sailor will have some good father and son time while I recover from Thursday in time to meet everyone for dinner Friday night before
my show opens!

Which brings me to a much more fun update - THE SHOW OPENS IN 3 DAYS!

We're working hard to iron out the kinks. I almost forgot how fun it is to do this kind of stuff. Exhausting? Sure! But so much fun as well! I can't wait to get my cast sweatshirt and wear it proudly long after the show is closed. It turns out this theater has a unique opening night tradition - Wine and cheese night! At about 6pm, the doors open and the patrons get to enjoy a mix and mingle with the cast and get up close and personal with our set/stage. It seems like a really cool way to get the audience into the spirit.  I'm not sure if my gang will be attending this, but I can't wait for the show to kick into high gear. Every time I do a show, I come away exhausted, but reminded on why I love this so much...

And that leads me to one more update. I'm doing a few "special effects" for our show! Namely, I'm in charge of blood and guts!  In one scene, a prince falls into a bunch of thorns face first and is blinded. What do you think folks? Convincing? 

And it's DELICIOUS! Based on vanilla pudding and almond paste, I sure hope it doesn't become a backstage snack for the cast.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Triumphs and Pit Falls

I'm FINALLY about to crawl into bed. I've been awake since 5:30am and it's nearly 11:30pm as I write this. I have a million things on my brain, but for the moment, let's focus on the Triumphs of the day -

First off, I got all of my scenes right. I'd been stumbling over a couple spots for a while, but tonight it all sank right in the pocket. It felt great! My costumes feel great and look good as well. I never get tired of watching my fellow cast members on stage either. This show is awesome and arguably the best I've been in yet (barring the 4 person version of American Standard). I'll post pictures when I can.

More triumphs, Sista' Girl has started new journey to better health and I'm super proud of her. And I'm always thrilled when my friends and family get on the health bandwagon. The healthier they are, the better the chance that they'll be around longer! Besides, I'm REALLY looking forward to our next RBT! Wahoo!

So those are the triumphs.

What are the pitfalls?

Well, I'm choosing to go to bed before midnight, rather than do another 20-30 minutes on the treadmill/elliptical. Working 10 hour days at my day job plus rehearsal makes trying to get ANYTHING else done a challenge! And when My Sailor has overnight duties, it's especially no fun (though the time DOES fly). So I'll be up and working by 6:30 every morning until Friday - when I'm finally taking a day off.  Did I mention I need a vacation?  I did get 1 mile in while walking Clydas today, but not the other 2.

Anyway, another pit fall is that it seems that I miss my friends a LOT today. I know many of them have busy lives as well. Even when we were local, we'd often go a month or so without seeing each other. But it just sees like lately I miss them a BUNCH. Probably because my parents are visiting this weekend. I guess it was bound to happen. I'm bound to get a little homesick, even as I carve out a new space here in the BEAUTIFUL Pacific Northwest.

Well, tomorrow is a new day and a new 5k!
I would say "wish me luck", but "luck" has never had anything to do with health. Wish me good choices!

Memories/Strategies to Stay Sane during Hell Week

It's officially "hell week" for Into The Woods- the musical I'm in. Just what is 'hell week'? In case you haven't been following the blog, that's dress rehearsal every night the week before opening.  It's the week the Tech crew dives in and learns when and how the sets need to be changed, the lighting and sound folks learn their cues, we actors figure out what make up works and doesn't work under stage lights, and the customer gets the final threads and props together. It requires a lot of patience, but it's also a really exciting time. For the first time, we really get to see how things come together!

That said, this week, my schedule is bordering on complete insanity. See, My Sailor's dad is coming over from Michigan to spend the weekend with us and my parents are coming up from California to spend the weekend in Seattle. Oh, did I mention it's My Sailor's Dad's birthday and my parents 40th wedding anniversary, and opening night for my show all in 1 weekend?

To get some time off to spend with my loved ones, I'm working 10 hour days Monday - Thursday this week. I'll get off work in time to throw some food down my throat and head off to the theater. And let's not forget my 5k challenge! Looks like that will happen via late nights at the gym. Why am I not skipping those work outs "just for this week"? Because I have a funny feeling they will be the ONLY thing keeping me sane!

Well, that and some good memories.

See, whenever I need a vacation (and boy, do I ever!), I recall vacations/trips of old and let myself marinade in the memories sometimes. Lately, I've been thinking of the very first RBT (Roasted Bear Tour) in 2009, where Sista' Girl and I went to Disney World together. It was such an amazing week! Disney World is truly at it's most magical during the holidays. I even remember our sore feet and joints with a nostalgic fondness now. So I thought I'd include a few pictures from that trip in this post.

Can't wait for the 2012 trip! It's TOO far away!

Friday, August 5, 2011

My view on Good Health practices

Sprinting up the last hill!

I used to hate my scale. I used to either feel disgusting or elated on Weigh In Day, depending on what that number on the scale said.

Well, I can't quite put into words what changed, over the past few months, my mind has changed completely. I've gone from being frustrated with the scale to seeing it as a tool to help me measure my overall fitness. But it's just one tool of many. The most important tool is how I feel.

When I something healthy for my body, I generally find I have sense of well being. When I go for a work out, even though I really didn't feel like it, I know I'm doing something good for myself and I feel stronger - not just physically, but on every level - emotionally, spiritually, etc.

Every time I have a crisp delicious homemade green salad, I feel a small sense of peace and satisfaction.

Every time I get on the scale (which is still nearly daily), and it goes up or down a pound, my mood doesn't change. The result no longer rules my day. It takes 3500 calories beyond my 1200/day to gain a pound of fat in 1 day. I don't eat nearly that much on a REALLY off day, so I know I'm heading the right direction, even if it says it's up a few pounds. Water and muscles are heavy, after all. In fact, I only "count" my LOWEST weight during any given month as my weight for that month. And ya know what? It works! Even if I only lose 1 pound/month, it's a pound in the right direction!(For the record, since June I'm down from 211 to 206.) Weekly weigh-ins just don't seem to work well for me, so I found something that did.

When I break out the tape measure once a month - then I'm looking forward to the results! I see them every day in the way my clothes fit, so the tape measure has been my best tool to remind me that I'm going the right direction. Since I only do this once a month, I stay motivated to make good decisions.

Life is a journey - an adventure. The longer I make healthier decisions, the healthier I'll be and the longer I'll be around
for My Sailor, my loved ones, and all the adventures to come.

To sum up, I've learned that:
1) I can't control everything that happens in my body. But I can choose to control the fuels I put in, the rest I give it, and the amount of work I make it do. Everything else, from my ability or inability to get pregnant to the high cholesterol I can't seem to find a cause for,is beyond my control - so Hakuna Matata to that. (DISCLAIMER: I also come from the school of thought of "medicine only when absolutely necessary". Working in the medical field has taught me that doctors are just people "practicing" medicine. We really don't know enough to say we're "doing" medicine yet. We probably never will.)
2) 'Perfection' isn't a number on a scale. Happiness isn't a waist size. And being lovable has nothing to do with the amount of junk in the trunk. It's all to do with what you believe. I may never be "perfect". I'll always be a work in progress, but I'm okay with that. Am I happy with myself? When I make good and healthy decisions - YES. Am I worthy of love? Completely. I believe you can't give what you don't have. Giving what you don't have is God's realm. But giving yourself the gift of care, just as you'd take care of someone you love, is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself - 'cause truly, it keeps on giving!
3) If I do the work, the results will follow. I find if I focus on the results I want, it's easy to get discouraged. If I focus on just the simple task ahead (like picking out a healthy lunch, or going for a walk one step at a time), I find myself capable of more than my mind thought I could do!

I know as long as I do the work the weight will come off - eventually.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

All We Are We Are

Lately, I've been listening to my Matt Nathanson station on Pandora when I've gone running and I've discovered more than a few great songs that I love. But this one rang true for me in SO many ways, so I thought I'd share it here. Turn up your speakers, turn down the lights, and enjoy.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

A Workout update! The 5k/30 day challenge!

I had a great talk with Warrior Woman (one of My Sailor's awesome sisters) and in the end, it inspired me. See, she works full time, has a young child, and a husband with a conflicting schedule and she STILL manages to run a 5k every morning! Pretty impressive, eh?

So, instead of running the occasional 5k and "hoping" somehow I'll magically be ready for many of the events I want to do, I've decided I seriously need to invest in finishing these events if I'm going to attempt them. And that means I need to put the proper preparation in. After all, refusing to prepare is the same as preparing to fail.

My new challenge? DO 5K EVERY DAY FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS.

Now, I'm giving myself the following guidelines:
This can be run, jogged, walked, or done on the elliptical.

Monthly Measurement days will remain the same (the 17th of each month).
Weight will be recorded once a month, and the lowest weight during the month will be recorded.

So I started TODAY! Clydas and I walked for about a quarter mile (so he could pee and we could warm up).  We ran the rest of the way at about 6mph, which was pretty awesome! So I have 2 more laps around my complex to complete the 5k. My Sailor might be around this evening, so I might rope him into doing it with me, but if not, it shouldn't take me more than 20 minutes.

Making my health a priority has taken a big shift in my mindset over the past few years, so this feels like the natural next step.

I'm not too worried about the number on the scale at this point. I'm counting my calories (you can find my daily food and work out diaries at, look for JDRBT) and doing the work, so the pounds should eventually fall off. It's just a matter of time and consistency. Do the work, and the rewards will follow.

I checked my years worth of weight records on MyFitnessPal and it showed that I'm UNDER where I was in April. Not by much, but I'm getting there. So if I keep on keepin' on, I should be right on target to reach my goals next year.

Bride going Natural

Only after midnight on a night when I should totally already be in bed asleep would I be posting a blog about make up.

If you know me at all, you know that perfection in fashion is not my thing. Sure, I like to look "put together" when I go out, but I'm not the type that has to  wear make up all the time, or the type that has a closet full of clothes and "nothing to wear". As a testament to that, My Sailor and I share closet space, and I take up about the same amount of room he does, and the closet doesn't even take up an entire wall. My wardrobe consists mostly of jeans and t shirts or sweaters, and a few nice tops scattered in.

That said, I'm not a complete dunce. I'm good at doing every day make up, and I can do theatrical and special occasion make up from time to time, but wedding make up? That makes me a doubt my skills just about completely. It's not THAT different, except it's going to be photographed A LOT so if the light isn't reflecting right or things aren't bending appropriately, you will notice.

I know, you're probably thinking "So hire someone". But this is a corner I think I can cut without any ill effects. I mean, why pay someone $200 to come and do hair and make up when I can do that myself? $200 is like 2 days of fine dining for us on our much deserved honeymoon! $200 is a Wild Africa Trek and then some!  Besides, I figure since I'm going for a natural look, I can figure out how to do this on my own - and it'll give me something to do other than sit there and direct a complete stranger on what I want done with my appearance on my wedding day.

So I found this great video on The Disney Wedding Blog (if you love Disney and romance, check this blog out - LOVE some of the earlier entries, but we're featured in a guest post too!).

How cool is that? That said, I don't really care for the eyes she's done... BUT I was given another great suggestion by a friend on Facebook:
"This is what I did for our wedding. Just go into one of those make up stores (I did bare minerals) and get a "make over" tell them it's for your wedding and have them show you what they are doing. Then just buy something or everything if you want and just do your makeup yourself! I had someone put my eyelashes on, but the rest I just did myself. Once you have your makeup and they show you how to do it, just practice until you get it the way you want it."
Why didn't I think of that?! Oh yeah, because I've never actually HAD a make over! Yes, I've survived 31+ years w/o a make over. I've had my make up done by a pro before, but most of my experiences have been for stage or with plenty of practice runs.

And with that craziness, I bid you goodnight! er... Morning!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Minor disappointments and becoming more like Mom

So, there was no game night last night. My Sailor didn't get off work until about 9pm. By then, he was exhausted. After work, I did nearly all the housework (need to finish cleaning the bathroom) and folded laundry while I waited for him to get off. Yeah, I was disappointed, but he only had an hour and a half of waking time left by the time we got home. So game night will probably happen next week. This week sounds like a bunch of long hours and nights away from home.

Boo hiss.

However, it gave me a good chance to chat with my mom for a while. She caught me up on how things are going back in my home town. And the more we started to talk, the more I noticed the similarities in our lives. And ya know what? I'm kinda proud to be becoming like my mom.

For example, in my youth I felt so inadequate that I was always afraid that anyone I cared for would realize I'm not what they want and leave. And I mean "anyone". Friends, family, lovers, etc. I was on a constant track to try to impress them all and make them happy so that they'd keep me around. I discovered that a lot of this had to do with my own insecurities, and a run-away issue of abandonment (a common issue among adoptees).

One thing that came along with this was a BAD case of jealousy. The green eyed monster was quite a challenge for me when I was younger.

Now, I've taken some risks that panned out, and I have a lot more confidence behind me. And it's a MUCH more comfortable place to be - let me tell you! If there is something I don't like about myself, I don't worry that someone else will see my flaws. I just do what I can to take care of the issue for myself.

Anyway, since My Sailor's schedule is so crazy (and cell phones aren't allowed), I'm glad for the confidence and security I feel here. Other than the usual military family worries (such as, "I hope he's healthy," etc) I don't worry about us. I'm confident we'll make the best of our time together, and that we'll be okay - whenever he gets home. I understand more now how my mom must feel when my dad travels for work. It is what it is and you make the most of what life has given you.

I can't wait to help them celebrate 40 years together in 2 weeks when they come to visit!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Things I'm excited about tonight!

Sharing with you the Pacific Northwest Highland games! We went on Saturday, so click here. to check it out!  

Working out! I'm finally not sick anymore (or at least practically recovered) and I can't wait to work out and actually kick my butt a bit. We just picked up Dance Dance Revolution and I'm NOT good enough at it to get a good work out out of it, but it's a great way to work on my coordination. Just by increasing my work outs I'm seeing some changes in my legs that I'm very happy with, as well as some changes in my overall shape.

GAME NIGHT tonight!
We're breaking in Pirate's Life! It's a version of the Life board game, but it's based on Pirates of the Caribbean (the attraction, not the film series). It's a Disney Theme Park Exclusive game that I found on Ebay for a STEAL! (Get it? Pirates? Steal? I know... I'm not very funny, but I do try!) We're going to fold laundry and get things cleaned up a bit here and then relax to some awesome games and delicious wine. I can't wait!

Checking it out from the side w/ side ponytail (2)


Added to a French Braid (1)
Wedding decisions made! Okay, so I've had my hand-made hair clip I found on kicking around here for a while, my mom has my gown safely stored at her house, and we have a venue and date range picked out, I feel like I can make some decisions now! YEAH!!!!! I decided on a bridesmaids gown for my ladies and shared it with them today, and I'm also thinking about all those other style things that are more personal decisions than anything else. For example, yesterday I was figuring out how to make the fan I'll be carrying instead of flowers. I've been keeping my eyes peeled for lanterns for my girls to carry (instead of flowers, since it'll be an evening ceremony - after all, flowers die! These they can keep!). AND I've been toying with my hair. Though I'm in dire need of a haircut, here were some ideas I played with. I think the French braid one is my favorite so far. LOVE the way it looks from behind - but then again, I like the way the way #2 looks too. What do ya'll think? My dress is ivory with a band of Clover (per Alfred Angelo) on the neckline (and other places). Weigh in! 
Side ponytail (3)
Just holding one side back (4)