Monday, February 22, 2010

Goodnight, Whisper House. Goodbye Lake House

Quote of the blog: "If we are growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone." John Maxwell

Last weekend, I saw the final performance of Whisper House at the Old Globe. The evolution of a live theatrical production from opening night to closing night is amazing - especially with a new show. Things just get better and better, more and more cohesive, and more and more edgy with this cast and show. I'm excited to see where this show finds itself in a few years! (And I can say I was there for their very first show for their very first run, and the very last show of the first run!) Someday, I hope to work with the amazing talent at the Old Globe. I'm never disappointed when I see one of their productions.

That said, the evolution of change in itself is pretty interesting. Since I'm in the midst of a move, I feel it profoundly. Sometimes it seems as if it's not just my location that's changing. I mean, sure, I'm moving to a condo in the same city I've lived in for my entire 30 years of life, but I still feel it ripple through my box-ridden house.

The lifestyle will be very different from what I'm used to out in the sticks. I doubt I'll hear a distant rooster in the morning when I step out the door. Or the hoot of an owl or call of bats in the evening. The stars will be a little dimmer in the city as well. However, there also will be less bugs (which would be nice, though I don't mind most of them), vermin (rats and opposums are pretty much standard when you're living in the woods), and luxuries like "insulation", "double pane windows", and a marvelous invention called a "dishwasher". ;) I'm trading neighbors I don't share walls with and a yard for city life. Which is in some ways great! The weeds are already up to my waist and more inclimate weather is on it's way. The more rain, the more weeds.

Now, I won't have to worry about all that jazz. I'll come home to a warm safe little condo, that's actually been decorated beyond my usual "Salvation Army Chic" style. In some ways, it's almost intimidating! But I'm really looking forward to the biggest trade off of all -


Life alone has been so financially restrictive, that I've had to stop auditioning and stop working on my album. So I'm very excited to audition more and to be able to really give this dream a fighting chance to grow, rather than put it on the back burner. "It" (acting/singing/writing) has been in my blood from day one. Ignoring it only makes me feel aweful - frustrated, depressed, etc. It's that need to express to communicate (as they say in RENT) that makes artists artists.

As I spend my last week in the Lake House, I find myself more driven then ever to carry with me the life lessons I've learned:

Some Risks are WORTH taking.

Sometimes taking a risk means saying goodbye to the familiar.

If you'll regret never trying, then give it your all.

There is no "try". There is only do and do not do. (Thanks Yoda!)

Those that are best at their passion have two things in common - 1) a healthy obsession for whatever stirs their soul
2) the inability to stop following their dreams.
(Of course, I learned all THAT by following Lou Mongello's example!)

So I have a challenge for you, dear readers (ye brave, ye few). Find something this week you've been putting on the back burner - no matter how silly or small it may seem, and do SOMETHING about it - big or small. It's so easy to rationalize away the things that really make us special and unique.

What have you neglected too long?
What will you do about it?

I'll check in next week and we'll see what we all DID about our forgotten dreams and how our "something" turned out! Why? Because we contribute our best to everyone and to the world when we are true!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Fitness motivation

With my fitness motivation flagging, I had to remind myself of some past experiences to build it back up. So this is what happens when good music meets fun photos.

The grossest bugs on the face of the planet.

There is one thing that has come up that is making it oh-so-much easier to leave this house. And that's the newest infestation - ear wigs.

To me, these are the grossest, most irritating bugs on the face of the planet. Why? As I told my friend, Flyboy, I had a bad experience that resulted in one of these things winding up in my mouth when I was a kid. (No, I didn't put it there.) That experience sufficently grossed me out FOREVER.

Apparently they like dark, damp places. Which probably means there is some considerable wood rot around my well lit door frames, because that's where they have been hanging out. Last night when BookWorm and I were hangin out, I ended up squishing 3 of them during the course of a conversation as they attempted to make their way across the living room floor. EW EW EW!!!

Something tells me I'll be able to leave these guys behind when I get into my 2nd story condo. :)

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Valentine's Eve

All of my fellow bloggers are giving a nod to Valentine's Day, so I figured I might as well join in.

I've heard arguments pro Valentine's Day and against it. As for me, I'm for the idea of it.

It's sad that people need an excuse to make the significant people in their lives feel special. That said, I'm glad there is a holiday that gives those that may not be die-hard-romantics a reason to celebrate one of the things that makes life worth living - Love.

Here's the interesting thing about me and Valentine's Day.

I'd rather have a picnic, than a fancy dinner out.
I'd rather have a handwritten love letter, than a card dreamed up by Hallmark.
I'd rather have my favorite flower or some exotic rose, rather than the traditional red ones.
I'd rather have the time, attention, and focus of my loved one, rather than the gift of diamonds.

So what would be my recipe for a perfect Valetine's Day this year?

A lesiurely, well planned picnic in the park, exchanging love letters - with an orchid somewhere in sight.

Ah well - a girl can dream!

Hope you all have a great day - and remember - take time to give the one thing that can't be lost, stolen, or broken. Your time. On someone you care for, it's never a wasted.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Housewarming warm up

So my move is about 2 weeks away (yikes!) and I'm still in the process of packing, selling, etc.

But to help keep myself excited about the move, I've started thinking of my new homecoming/housewarming. I've found a few items that I plan on adding to my new place when I get the chance!

Here are the top two things on my list:

Yes, that's right. They are both BOOKS! I'm in dire need of getting caught up with my favorite authors. Afterall, I need SOMETHING to read by the jacuzzi! Last time I lived in a condo complex with a decent jacuzzi, I was in there almost every day.

An Echo in the Bone promises to be the final book in a fairly extensive series. It's an amazing historical fiction/fantasy mix. Imagine being a female doctor of England in the 1970's, and being accidentally, mysteriously sent back in time to the 1700's while on holiday in Scottland. That's the premise behind the first book in the series. It's Claire's story of survival, and the different life she leads back there. (It isn't as easy as you think!) This promises to be my last oppurtunity to follow Jamie and Claire through their lives together (which, at last count, had brought them in the US during the revolutionary war, adult daughter -who was raised in the more current world - en tow).

Jacqueline Carey is another favorite author of mine (though I'm not a fan of her contemporary fiction - she does create some facinating characters). This particular series is proving to be her masterpiece, as far as I'm concerned. I've tried to read Banewreaker, and Santa Oliva - and neither have captured my attention like this elegantly written series. Can't wait to see what the next one has in store - especially since another one is due out June of this year!

I'm a pretty simple soul when it comes down to it.

Of course, I do plan on treating myself to some girlish goodies as well.

Yes, a bouqet of my favorite flowers will end up arriving at my door.

And I'm looking forward to 'em! (I would buy an orchid PLANT, but I'm great at killing 'em.)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The Lesson of the Pencil

I received this in an e-mail today – and couldn’t help but be find a striking truth in it. Enjoy!


to be held and guided by the hand that holds you.


Monday, February 8, 2010

Old Reliable and A Few New Things

This weekend was fairly productive in the moving front! Not that I got a lot moved, but I got a lot of the shopping done with my folks that I needed to get done.

See, they feel that I've never really had a "fresh start" anywhere. I'll admit, my style (which I'd describe as "earthy" and "relaxed") has never really had a too much a chance to develope, due to budget constraints. My moving history of the past several decade goes something like this:

2001 -
Moved from my room at my parent's house to my then-husband's apartment. Most of the things we had were a combination of wedding gifts, a couple of boxes he shipped from Boston (his home city), and some things from my room (like a book case). So it was perfectly functional and very "salvation army chic". (Please don't misunderstand - that isn't a complaint. We had some great times living broke. Some of the best dates were sitting on the floor - because we didn't have a table - eating pizza by candle light. Simplicity totally rocks.)

We moved into a house we split with 2 bachelors. So it was me, a couple of friends from grade school, and my then-husband. We didn't have the master, so we crammed into one room to save some money so we could buy some property. Most of our hand-me-down furniture was used to furnish the house, since the guys didn't have much when we came in.

We bought a condo in Escondido and moved in. Over time, we accumulated a few new things, but we never quite got the place set up. (I am definately to blame for this because it wasn't until AFTER the divorce that I realized how good it feels to REALLY unpack somewhere. Having been a nomad most of my life, I just got used to boxes.) While in the condo we bought a new bed, a media center (that we spent a very LONG night assembling), a new coffee table, and a couch. Finally - a sense of style started creeping into my life. I would look through home decorating magazines every once in a while and all that. It was a pretty well set up place in then end (once the boxes were dealt with).

Divorce forced an attempted shortsale on the condo. When that didn't work, we foreclosed and I had to move. So I moved into the lake house, taking most of the stuff from the condo that would fit. I didn't really purchase anything new from there. I replaced a couch, inherited a TV, and bought an armoir for my computer, and that was really about it. Everything else came over from the condo.

So now, here I am - downsizing into a condo that I'll share with a roomie (as soon as I find one). Funny though - I find myself totally at peace with this new change and excited for the future. My bargain shoppers' eye immediately goes towards what's least expensive (even when other people have said, "It's a gift! We want to get you whatever you want!") but I'm learning to speak up for myself more and more and express what I like, what I don't, etc.

I'm tempted to share photos of all the goodies I picked up this weekend, but I'll just post a few - and in the end, I'll just have to post some photos of the new digs vs the old digs. While my little lake cottage definately has it's charm, the earwig infestation that appears to be happening, and the constant cold/drafts remind me that it's time to move on!


My new glasses (I didn't get the pitcher - just the tall glasses and the tumbler) from World Market (LOVE that store).

Headboard from Peir One (it's woven beige and black sea grass rope)
There are a few things I consider to be "trademarks" of my living space though.

Friends know you can always count on me to have a tea pot and a variety of teas in stock. Usually, there is at least 1 good bottle of wine in the house as well (especially if I know company is coming over). It's important to me to know that I have those little bits of comfort around the house.

I guess one could consider this move (while only about 10 miles from the house I'm at now - if that) symbolic. I'm leaving, selling, or donating a lot of peices of my past - and moving into the future with a more portable, simplified, coordinated life style.

And, ya know what?

I think Clydas and I will be just fine.

Monday, February 1, 2010

It's funny, the things we keep...

Organizing (or attempting to organize) for a move is always an interesting experience. I always come across something I didn't expect. Tonight was no different.

As I went through the 'random stuff' drawer in the kitchen, I found a few interesting items.

A card from ProFlowers from the last set of flowers delivered to my house -
Dated in the summer of 2006, the card read simply:
"J-Babe, just wanted to let you know you're awesome. - Jon"
This guy earned major bonus points by sending me a large bundle of my favorite flowers, purple and white Dendrobium Orchids.

The best part of those flowers?
He wasn't apologizing.
There was no special occasion.
Yet he remembered my favorite flower, in my favorite color, and sent them for my favorite occasion -
Just Because.

Where's this Prince Charming Canidate now?
He's a happily married man, to someone I'm sure is a great fit for him. There's no doubt in my mind that she's being treated like a queen. And that thought makes me smile.

A scratcher good for a free $2 ticket

Who would have thought I would have let this little gem slip by me?
I don't normally purchase scratchers, or play the lottery. Every summer I buy a scratcher or two. I think the most I've ever won is $5. (Which, after you take out the cost of the ticket, is more like a $3 win.)
Who knows! Maybe the ticket this one gets me will make me a millionare (Ha! Yeah right!).

Random bits of poetry and quotes...
I've been known to jot down things that I find some deeper truth lurking in.
"Shaking your sword at the sky won't keep the sun from setting. " - Terry Goodkind
"Life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% how you react to it." - Randy Pausch
Other times, well, I've always said, "Poetry is simply giving your heart the pen - and letting your soul take to page."

"Untitled" - J. Darling
I still remember that first kiss
Sometimes I live there
I remember it clearly
Simply in a parking lot
Unceremonious and sweet
Serenely passionate
A sudden perfect fit...
Gaurds stood down
Abundant hearts stood open


Now there isn't time for kisses
Isn't time for breath
The storm never ends.
No respite
No luxury of time
No time for desire
Lips forgot how to kiss
Gaurds stand always armed
Trust splinted and shattered
lacking renew...
Faith broken
and I've not the heart strong enough to bridge it....

"Untitled" - J. Darling
This is how it starts
This is how always does
I remember it too well

I used to see the magic
That sparkle in the eye
Now I see the black
Of hair...the shoulder...
The well muscled back...

But then creeps on the hourglass
Stifling sands flood down
Drowning the "I miss you"s and "I'm thinking of you"s
Until we stumble on "I love you"
On our way to "Goodbye".

(As you, dear readers, can see, I'm fairly prolific, privately, when it comes to my love life. I just choose for it not to be the subject of debate at this time.)

I'm sure I'll find more things along this journey. Some, like the poetry and lottery ticket, are well worth savings. Others? Well, like the flower card, I enjoy the memory that makes me smile, wish my friend Jon well - and am happy to let that piece of my past go. And hopefully there will be more smiles delivered someday in my future for the best occasion of all... Just Because.

Aw the sleepless joys of moving...

Here I am - scouring Craigslist for moving boxes, dreaming of what my new living room, roommate, and condo life will be like.

Also, staying up way too late on my slower-than-a-snail computer trying to find out what I like... trying to get the best deals on things I want, etc etc...

Today, I'm sitting at my desk at work, and all I can think about is my To Do list for when I get home. Somewhere between sniffling (because, yes, this damn cold is really refusing to let go) and doing dishes, and working out, and cooking for the week...yes, somewhere between all that, I'll be going through the house at break neck speed - because, of course, I picked the SHORTEST MONTH OF THE YEAR to move.

I have exactly 27 days from today until I get the keys.

Well, "Rest" is a 4 letter word!

Then agan, so is "work" and "play"...