Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Patience over Power

Today was a good day in the gym. I had a few clients. I worked with the Strongman team, and I hit a post pregnancy PR in my Jerk.

And I came away with it with a little revelation too.



Now, if there is one thing I've learned along the way here, is that there are as many styles of parenting as there are people. For example, for every expert that swears by 'Cry It Out' (which in the baby wielding world is abbreviated as CIO - which is simplified by basically letting the kid cry until they figure out how to calm down) there are half a dozen that believe it's cruel and will give your kid issues into adulthood. Yet experts who backs CIO, feel that anything else will make kids into weak adults who are unable to soothe themselves. There are some shades of grey in between, of course, but that's just one example of contradictory methodology.

Me? I believe there are no actual manuals when it comes to relationships. There are lots of books and folks with great suggestions, but that's all they are. Wisdom gleaned from trial and error and other experiences.  Each metholody has its own value, but we all have our own hearts to follow, in the end.

Each relationship (Trainer/Athlete, Husband/Wife, Progeny/Parent, etc.) is as unique as a finger print. I prefer to think of each as a tiny piece of a yet-unexamined life.

That leads me to today's revelation.

The Impossible Girl is becoming a toddler. A very strong, 18 lb toddler. It's hard to believe she just turned 11 months on Monday.

When she does not want to be strapped into a seat, there is no form of distraction that will get her in there. Her will is iron clad, and her body is so flexible that she can become stiff as a board and remain that way for extended periods of time.

And that's exactly what happened on my way home from picking up lunch for My Sailor (who happened to be sick). She was NOT getting back in the car seat. I tried EVERYTHING. Diaper change, food, distraction... I pulled out every stop in the parent arsenal and she was not getting into that seat. Physically forcing her was probably well within my ability, but she was so adamant, I'm pretty sure it would have risked serious injury to continue to attempt to dominate her will.

So instead, I stopped trying.

I took a deep breath. Sure, people were looking. I'd been wrestling with a screaming toddler for the better part of 15-20 minutes in the middle of a parking lot. In the midst of my frustration, I realized that she needed something from me. And it wasn't more force.

"Maybe this isn't what you need right now. Let's go for a walk, shall we?"

As we strolled slowly up and down the aisles of a near by craft store, and explored the colors and textures of all the fake flowers and crafting fabrics, I realized something.

If I were to describe myself, one word I'd use would be powerful. Not just as a lifter, but when it comes to force of will, I'm nearly as stubborn as they come.

But day, she didn't need my power.

She didn't need me to 'out stubborn' her.

She needed my other super power.

She needed my patience.

I had a 2 hour gap between clients. Surprising My Sailor with lunch before dropping off The Impossible Girl with him and heading back to work was a sound idea.

This struggle had cut into my lunch plans significantly.

So much so, that I had about 30 minutes left when I got home and got to said lunch.

But when we got back to the car, there was very little struggle getting into the seat. Some minor distraction did the trick, and we were off.

Sure, my lunch break was cut short, but I it felt good to realize that, sure, some days, she will need that powerful female figure to help her out.

But more often than not, she's just going to need my patience.

And she can have it.



Monday, July 11, 2016

Competitions and Killer Whales


It's safe to say that parenting has slowed me down a bit. Not necessarily in a bad way. (If you've been following my blog from the start - oh ye brave, ye few - you've seen that, throughout the years I've needed different things to slow me down.) It's not a negative thing by far, but it isn't something that comes easily to my girl-on-the-go personality. I tend to thrive off of momentum. It's a controlled sort of chaos creative folks know all too well. Being a parent of a near-toddler is simultaneously amazing, challenging, and completely exhausting.  My daughter doesn't make it challenging specifically. Overall, she's a pretty chill kid. It's just that life with an infant/toddler is far from a cake walk.  From sleep deprivation to the every-other-week illnesses to the delighted look that crosses her face when she discovers she can do something she couldn't do yesterday, it's truly an adventure into unexplored territory for me.

Today I was carrying her to the car as My Sailor pushed our cart through the Target parking lot. She was fast asleep on me. She'd been fussy in the store, insisting on being in constant motion, and then being hand carried (not riding in the cart or in her carrier but specifically HAND CARRIED and  specifically by me) until she couldn't fight the tiredness any more. Walking slowly through the aisles and a calm voice  eventually put her to sleep.  As I walked out to the car, I mused that I never considered that my arms would be tired from carrying a toddler. Until now, I'd been able to give them back to their parents when they got fussy. Now, I'm the parent.

And it's kinda cool.

Snatching in Tacoma...
With that said, I just signed up for my next competition.  It's not until the Fall (October 1st to be exact), and I'll probably compete in the local Strongman between now and then, but my approach to this competition is very different than the others. Even when I was pregnant, I had a couple hours a day, 6 days a week in the gym to myself to lift. I get a little over 2 hours a day. The Child Watch staff is (usually) more than willing to help me out and watch her when I have clients and have to go over my 2 hours a day/10 hours a week, but when it comes to getting my own workouts in, that's on me to figure out (since I save my Child Watch time for my business hours, rather than pay for child care.)

Now, I don't have that kind of time - or the extra funds for regular coaching. (Though I plan to change that soon, it'll likely take about a month before that turns around.) Now, I grab the time and the coaching slots when I can.

For general health and fitness, none of that is really an issue. I've diversified my training to include a SLEW of Mom-and-Beanie workouts. Beanie Girl and I go for hikes once a week with a local Hike-It-Baby group-with her in a baby-wearing carrier (though we're on the look out for a mesh one for summer time). A friend showed me how to do push ups with Beanie Girl in a back carry, and we do planks, and tire flips, just to name a few things. She was approaching 18 pounds at her last weigh in. Add in her carrier and it's probably about the equivalent to a 20 lb weight vest. But I'm only going to get stronger as she grows, so it's kind of a nice trade. 

And who knows? She may come to enjoy Mom's special brand of crazy... or she may hate it. It's up to her.
Me and Beanie Girl - Candid
But one thing I can't do with her into a weight room at the Y.  She's tagged along on a few Olympic Lifting classes/sessions at Dungeon Fitness, but that's more out of necessity. It's a huge distraction for me. That means I've had to slow down my training and really pare it down to the most vital parts, making the most of the little solo weight room time I have.  Lifting alone is hard. In fact, it quite honestly brings out the 'suck' in the sport, but I know this phase isn't forever. I miss my lifting friends at the gym, but I know it'll pass eventually. Eventually I'll make my Sunday morning plans regularly again. Someday she may be coloring across the room from the weights or in summer camp or school. But for now, it's climbing up hill. But ya know - I'm kind of okay with that. It reminds me just how important it is for parents to take time away for their own sanity and betterment. MAKING time to do something just for me - really isn't 'just for me'. It helps me bring a more fulfilled, stronger, more confident, better person into all of my relationships - wife, friend, coach, mother... etc.

Honestly, while it's not easy, it's not that bad either. When she's feeling well, Beanie Girl sleeps like a champ - which means everyone sleeps like a champ. (She tends to get sick about every other week - you know - when she's been in Child Watch... which she can't go to when she's 'visibly ill' - so basically, she comes out sick just about every time she's in there for an extended period of time. That's not a reflection on the staff. It just is what it is. Little kids = germ factories.) When that happens, the whole house gets in a happy, productive mode. When it doesn't happen - and I'm getting sleep in broken 2-3 hour chunks, putting heavy weight over my head just seems like a bad idea...

So I don't. I find some other way to work out.

With a competition coming up, I'll need to make rest a bit more of a priority. It may be good timing, as she's going to be nearly 11 months old, and we're seeing some regularities creep into everyday life that make things a bit easier on me.

Motherhood has been a great test of my training philosophies. I say things like - 'Do SOMETHING every day. Even if it's something small.' And now, I live that.

Carrying Beanie Girl around all day is a great way to get strong - and get exhausted, so that happens regardless of what I plan usually. (Even though she's crawling and working on standing on her own - sometimes Mom is the best mode of transportation and comfort. Growing up is HARD!) So adding in a hike, walk, push ups, planks, leg raises, swings, flips or whatever is all bonus sometimes. But ya know what? It's working. I haven't dropped a ton of weight, despite having a dialed in diet, but I've shrunk and maintained my strength - slowly, over time. Which is exactly how I got into the best job ever - taking my time. Learning the ropes. Slowly. Gradually. I'm still learning and growing as a coach, as an athlete, as a wife, as a mom.... and I hope to forever.

My hopes for this meet? Let's see if I can meet the totals I hit while I was pregnant. I'm fairly confident that's a doable goal. Remember that last meet? Click here if you don't. I look back at that technique and I'm confident it's still getting a little better, even if it's a bit of a battle some days.

That said, we've been making sure Beanie Girl stays connected to her family - on both sides. Granted, that is MUCH easier done on My Sailor's side. It seems like we see someone from his side of the family every month or so. Most of them live in Seattle, which is little less than a day trip away. We all got to cross whale watching off our bucket list though when Papa Bear Humenay came for a visit and treated us all! It was a really long day for Beanie Girl (and she could probably have cared less about the whales and the water), but I'm glad we were all able to take the adventure together. My Sailor caught some fun photos of us on the boat. And - oh yeah - we saw whales.
Taking a break in the Galley

Candid fun. Tired Beanie Girl.



 The ship required that we either be in the Galley, seated, or that Beanie Girl be worn for the entire 3 hour 6 hour tour. Add that to the 4 hour round trip journey to get to and from the port, and lunch strapped into a high chair, and poor Beanie Girl had been strapped to a device nearly the entire time. We came home all exhausted, but glad for the adventure. We're looking forward to doing an overnight at Deception Pass at some point and further exploring Edmonds.

Even though I'm a Californian Native, I can't help but love all the natural beauty up here. It's still breath taking.

It was a neat day. I remember going whale watching (though we were going for humpbacks mostly) with my family as a kid and Papa Bear's visit was bitter sweet - we really enjoyed it, but it's an ever present reminder of cancer's toll on my family. I'm grateful that Papa Bear gave us this experience that I'm sure my dad would have more than approved of.

Well, my week is planned - including a good bit of marketing since Strongman 2016 is right around the corner, and I'm hopeful we'll tackle some projects here on the homefront as well tomorrow, so I better enjoy some sleep while Beanie Girl is out.