Things I Love and Things I Don't

I LOVE MY FITBIT!

Because My Sailor loves me, we pooled together some pennies and I got a Fitbit Ultra!
It's RARE that I want a "gadget", but this was one of them! The Fitbit is a wireless activity monitor that can sync w/ MyFitnessPal, that I'm already a member of. It tracks the quality of your sleep and your steps (running, stairs, walking) throughout the day. The online program also helps you reach your fitness goals by helping you track your calories in vs calories burned. Of course, if you eat 1000 calories a day, and make them all Snickers bars, you won't lose weight even if you walk a ton. So I am still control of putting good quality fuel in my body. But I've been maintaining my weight for a while now (about 2 months) so I'm due for a big loss soon! The sleep monitoring function is great too. Most people who are obese suffer form insomnia as well. For example, last night I was in bed for about 8 hours, but only got 3 hours of quality sleep! Yikes! I wonder if that will change when we're on the road... I hope so! A break might be just what I need to get some more rest! We're going on vacation soon, and I plan in wearing it and syncing it everyday. After all, there are no vacations from a healthy lifestyle, because a healthy lifestyle includes healthy vacations!

Which brings me to - I LOVE THAT WE'RE GOING ON VACATION in TWO DAYS! There is still so much to do between now and then. 24 hours of work, plus finding time to pack and write up instructions for our new dog sitter. I need to make a trip to the bank, and pack for two completely different climates. Our first stop is Michigan (brrr!) and then we get to Orlando (yeah! Disneyworld here we come!). While I am really looking forward to getting a tour of My Sailor's hometown, meeting his family and friends, I'm also loving that we're working in some ways to steal some moments for us. We'll also hopefully be able to meet up with Lou Mongello (editor of Celebrations Press, the Disneyworld fan magazine I write a column for, and creator of WDWRadio) for a bit in Disneyworld. When I grow up (er, down), I want to be Lou Mongello. Check out his podcast if you haven't already.

Now on to a few things I think I don't love.

24 hours of work before vacation, in 2 days. Now don't get me wrong. I'm grateful for my job and to be employed. I created this beast I'm riding on, so it is what it is. But I wish vacation started TODAY and lasted even longer! Then again, who doesn't?!

Easily offended folks -  I have a LONG fuse. It takes a good recurring behavior to really get my goat most of the time. I can put up with anything for a while. Over the past few weeks, I've seen lots of lists of "What never to say to a military wife" go around the internet.  In case you've never seen them (and I didn't see them until I got involved in the military community), they read something like this:
1.  "Aren't you afraid that he'll be killed?"
2.  "I don't know how you manage. I don't think I could do it."
3.  "At least he's not in Iraq."
4.  "Do you think he'll get to come home for Christmas/anniversary/birthday/birth of a child/wedding/family reunion, etc.?"
5.  "What are you going to do to keep yourself busy while he is gone?"
6.  "How much longer does he have until he can get out?"
7.  "This deployment shouldn't be so bad, now that you're used to it."
8.  "My husband had to go to Europe for business once for three weeks. I totally know what you're going through."
9.  "Wow you must miss him?"
10.  "Where is he exactly? Where is that?"
11.  "Well he signed up for it, so it's his fault whatever happens over there."
12.  "Don't you miss sex? I couldn't do it!"
13.  "Well in my opinion...."
14.  "OH, that's horrible...I'm so sorry!"

Honestly, the only one that offends me is #12 because my sex life is no one's business. If a good friend asked me, I might be open about it but other than that, none of these 'offend' me. Sure, we ALL say silly things to try to connect with other people. When I was first married, it was "When are you having kids?" Sounds like a "normal" thing to ask, right? When you think about it, it's actually deeply personal. I was never 'offended' by it - just mildly annoyed. Now that I'm in my 30's I understand a bit more, and compassion doesn't come hard. I understand that they are trying to connect with me, get to know me, and don't mean to be inconsiderate. I'm always hopeful that these lists are ment in good humor more than anything else. Reading it over, I think they can all be answered by "Yes, I miss him. Yes, he's a my hero. Yes, he's worth waiting for. It's not a lifestyle for everyone. Yes, I'm grateful he's not in any obvious line of fire. If he has to do his job, there probably won't be anything to come home to."

So I'd like to end on 2 "love" notes.

I love that my blogger friends and fellow Team Voicers FINISHED THE PRINCESS 1/2 MARATHON this last weekend! Way to go Amanda and Jonathon! You inspire me!

I love that people actually appreciate My Sailor. I don't get a "thank you" for being a certified coder.  When I hear from a fan of my writing, it makes me glow for a day or two. (Celebrations Press readers - you're gonna LOVE the Big Thunder Mountain piece I picked up for an up coming issue! Keep your eyes peeled.) There aren't many jobs in life where strangers approach you, hug you, and thank you for doing your job. He doesn't get the sleep he deserves and sometimes, he doesn't even get the credit he deserves from me at home sometimes.  So it's always a great reality check when someone says 'Thank you for putting your life on the line so I can live free.'

Some New Goals

It's been an... eventful past couple days...so you'll have to excuse my blogging silence as I process things.

Because I think I complain far too much - first, the good stuff!

Tomorrow, My Sailor and I are going to look at a few houses. Yeah! They are short sales or foreclosures. I'm more excited than scared. The scary part will come tomorrow morning when we find out how much we're approved for.

It's a new chapter - with some old vocabulary thrown in the mix -

Like the term "Finding Nemo". My Sailor will have lots of time to look for him this time, so that means, I'll have LOTS of time on my hands to accomplish things! First up, a weekend in So Cal with Sistah' Girl this summer.

I don't have anything else planned at the moment, but I am considering a solo trip somewhere - since I have plenty of vacation to use up this year.

Aside from that, the Run For Your Life Zombie 5k in Portland/Seattle in August! Hopefully My Sailor will be there with me! We've registered to run as prospect survivors, AND to chase people as Zombies! It also includes overnight camping! Should be fun!

I'm waiting on my new shoes before I start training for ANYTHING. Don't want to screw up my feet even more and REALLY set myself back!

(I also ordered a Fitbit! Can't wait to see how that helps me keep my health on track!)

But tonight I'm happy to report that I got 41 minutes of Just Dance 3 on "Sweat" mode. It was a blast! I signed up for a 7 day challenge to help keep me focused and in shape over the next couple months.

I've also been out of the house twice. I do notice that I'm stammering more when I talk to people, even on the phone lately. Oy! The side-effects of me not getting out enough means I get a tad anxious when talking to new people, and I stumble and trip over my words to say what I mean to say.  It's an embarrassing habit I hold to LOSE  before I meet My Sailor's family and friends on 2 weeks.

The bad news was sort of laced in there. My Sailor is VERY busy at the Sub and will be for at least the rest of this year. It makes me even more grateful to look back on my past and see how far I've come.

But it does take me a little while to process all this - between 12 hour work days (worked over 50 hrs this week) and the house stuff - and reminding myself to take care of me...which reminds me... Me needs a bubble bath and some book time before bed tonight. Off I go!

Walk A Mile in My (Broken Down Cheap old Running) Shoes

As most of you already know (if you read my blog regularly) - you know that I am on a quest when it comes to my athletics. I played LOTS of sports as a kid, but that didn't stop me from being overweight. But I want to continue 'getting better and better' (thanks Kyle for the tagline!). And today I put in an investment towards that.

One of the greatest lessons I learned in life (so far) is that any investment you make in bettering yourself, betters those around you as well. It can inspire people on their own journey, encourage those going the same direction you are, and build stronger relationships with other people who are interested in 'getting better and better' as well.

When I first bought my running shoes (Asics GT-2160), they ran me about $100. Yikes! That's more than I think I've ever spent on athletic shoes, but My Sailor helped to convince me that my lousy feet need a little TLC when it comes to running. I tend to beat them into a pulp since they'd been, well, lousy since I can remember.

Take a look and you'll see what I mean:

Let's take a look at the bottom of the shoes, shall we? If you look carefully, you'll see that only worn areas are the outside of shoe (from ball to heel) and just below the ball of the foot. That's where you can see the purple peeking out from the yellow-ish greenish sole. So obviously those areas take a lot of abuse. Now lets look at my feet on the left. Md's say I was probably born with high arches, but as I put on weight as a kid, and played sports (soccer), my arches fell. Now, we have technology that fixes this in children under 10. A tiny ball like thing is implanted into the weakening bones, which helps the body correct itself. Pretty cool, huh? Too bad it wasn't around in the 1980's (when I was 10 and under). Obviously, my heels take a lot of abuse - see all the callouses there? They don't hurt, and I never really worry about how my feet "look" so I rarely bother with them. On the lower right hand corner, you'll see my "good foot". This is one that has a tiny bit of arch left. Arches give your feet spring and helps them bounce back from daily stuff. Now, the 2nd photo from the right shows me standing. You'll notice my ankle of my "good foot" is pretty much lined up w/ my leg, despite the lack of arch in either foot. (Believe it or not, this is actually PROGRESS from where I was 10 years ago.) On the other side though, you'll notice that my ankle rolls in pretty severely. I am NOT leaning in this picture, but it looks like I am, huh? Crazy stuff! Anyway, over the course of my teen years, my ankles collapsed. (Which is why it's progress to have 1 nearly line up on it's own finally - but losing 50lbs will do that!) The left ankle joint, when not properly supported, actually pretty much touches the ground when I walk.

And you know when you're feet are off so are your knees, hips, back, etc. I'm so grateful not to struggle with any sort of chronic pain in those areas!

As for my feet - when I'm bare foot, my toes go numb on a regular basis. That's how I knew I couldn't keep these shoes one day longer. My lousy feet killed em.

In their defense, they were great shoes! Worth every penny! I wore them A LOT, and they lasted nearly a year. Since running shoes aren't known for their durability, and should be replaced every 6 months anyway, it's past time.

But that doesn't mean I am looking forward to the 2 hour commute to the mall and back to find a great Lady Footlocker and spend over $100 on new shoes, RIGHT before a vacation!

So here's where I get savy -
  Yesterday, I got a reward card in the mail for $20 my next purchase at Famous Footwear. While I never have good luck at their physical stores, I have great luck with their online specials. Today, the exact same brand/model of shoe (different color) is on sale! Instead of $99, it's $69.99! How's that for a deal? I add on my coupon and I got it down to $56.01 after taxes. "But what about shipping and handling?" Since I'm a rewards member (which was free to sign up for), shipping is free. So I saved on gas by not even having to go to a store. Oh, and I have one more savy shopping goodie - I went through ebates.com to get them. So I also get 9% put back into my paypal account, which is a little over $5.

So I actually bought $99 shoes for $50.96.

And now, I just have to get a new swimsuit top and I have a feeling I'll be all ready for our vacation and well within budget.

Quote of the Blog - "It feels good to outsmart the feet." - Me.

"All Things Considered, I'm taking this Rather well."

Good news and bad news. They always seem to balance each other out, right?

Well, first the good news!

My Sailor's crazy hours appear to be settling down starting next week! Yeah! We'll actually get more than 2 hours awake together per day! Possibly even a day off together that DOESN'T involve sleeping away 60% of the day in the near future! Yeah! I can't wait to get back to mini road trip adventures and all that jazz.

So what's the bad news? 

Though his hours are normalizing - he'll be adding Valentine's Day and another personal holiday to the list of days holidays he's had to work through. He'll be going in around 7am on those days and not returning until the next day.

Sigh.

All things considered though - considering I've just been told in the last 48 hours that our wedding, honeymoon, Valentine's Day, and our own private holiday has been wiped off the calendar, I'm taking it all pretty well. I'm fairly certain most women would have dissolved into tears of disappointment and flop into a bought of hopelessness.

Disappointment?
Oh sure. I can't lie. I may be named after the Bionic Woman, but even she had feelings, and so do I. To some, the answer could be "Just don't throw a wedding" and "Just don't have any expectations". But I don't work that way. Weddings are important - it's important to us to show our family and friends how much their love and support means to us. I expect we'll get to it when we have the time and money. Whatever the season, it'll be fun and beautiful I'm sure. I'm ALWAYS going to dream big, make plans, and do everything I can to set those plans into motion. But I'm also not going to hold it against My Sailor if the Navy decides they need him and causes it to change those plans - or wipe them out completely.

Though the news is still pretty fresh, My Sailor shows no interest in celebrating these holidays sooner or later than the day. Honestly, that DOES kind of suck, but it's also really hard to be interested in ANYTHING at 5am when you're on little sleep, so that might change.



That's Why I Make All My Plans On Things like These -

Everything can be moved, erased, redesigned, and saved for later. (Do you love my Mickey post its? I do! Thanks Pam!)

Too bad he has Saturday off and I don't, but My Sailor just got a new video game, so I'm sure he'll keep himself busy with that and catching up on some much needed rest. In fact, I'm almost jealous. Almost...
I'd probably spend the day getting out and then coming home to some crafting or scrap booking or something a bit more tangible, but that's me.



So what am I doing for Valentine's Day? Most likely working - though I'm probably going to order myself some orchids.

After the week I've had, I deserve something pretty.

But what would really start next week off right would be being down just 1 more pound! I'm so close to being securely in Onderland that I can taste it!

Now, off to errands and the next "half" of my day (which, yes, is starting at 6pm).

Just Dance 3 Saved My Life

Okay, so that's kind of a lie. Alright, it's an outright bold faced lie, but it got you to read this blog, didn't it?

Seriously speaking though - for the past 4 weeks or so I've been doing a Just Dance 3 competition with a fellow MyFitnessPal'er. I just move the coffee table out of the way, and get my groove on. Each week, we dance it up to 3 songs, and whoever gets the highest score (2/3 songs) wins $5 from the loser, paid via paypal. Nice set up right? The rules are - YOU have to do it, meaning the high score HAS to show YOUR profile name. Honor system here. To submit the score, we send photos of the song selection screen, which shows the name on the profile, the score, and the song title every Thursday (though the cut off for dancing is Wednesday night).

Having the strong competitive spirit that I do, I've busted my hump every week. And, yes, it's only $5, and sometimes we pass the same $5 back and forth. But $5 adds up, and so do the health benefits! And, I'm having fun, AND (ready for this one?) I WEIGH LESS NOW THAN I HAVE IN THE PAST 3 YEARS! When My Sailor left, it was before Halloween, and I was weighing in about 213ish... So I decided I wanted to lose 15lbs before he got back in Jan. That really doesn't allow for slacking off. As of this morning, I was down to 201. Almost to my goal and there is no word on when he's coming home yet. Anyone wanna bet I can make it to 20lbs before he comes home? ;)

Between making small changes to my diet, and working out at least 3 days a week (the min for a good score on that game), the results are really starting to show and pay off. I can see it in inches AND on the scale! It feels painfully slow, but in hindsight, it's a good, steady loss.

Next week we are skipping score submission, so basically we have 2 weeks to do the same 3 songs and practice before submitting our highest scores. I'm really hoping I can borrow a Wii and do a few dances at my parent's house on Christmas day (since that's really the only day I'll have time).

It's also had some other benefits too. It's a GREAT stress break from all this work, and nothing takes your mind off of your worries quite like moving and good music (even if you're a pretty aweful dancer like me). Strangely enough, I am actually learning some moves off of this too! I mean, I physically can NO sit still to songs like "Price Tag" or "Airplanes". I'm sure I look completely silly, but I'm having so much fun. I didn't think workout out could be this much fun - or this addictive! When I need to get some stress or energy out, it's my go-to.

Need to get someone with a Wii a gift for Christmas? Well, I don't review video games often on here, but this one is worth every single dime. It hasn't been taken out of my Wii in MONTHS. It won't make you bullet proof, but it will make you feel like it.

A Little more Christmas - and a zombie

It's just after midnight and for the last 20 minutes, I've been enjoying a little down time. Sigh. Lovely. Sitting in my candle lit living room, getting ready to compose the email to My Sailor for the day.

So I thought I'd share a bit of my artistry with you. Clydas seems to approve.

Clydas checking out the tree and our box of Christmas cards. Keeping them safe and handy for My Sailor to check out when he gets home.

 Now, Picasso and I have a lot in common apparently. My artwork seems more...conceptual... lol Look, I'm an artist in many forms, but drawing and painting have never really been 2 of those talents. So honestly, and 8 year old probably could have painted my tree, but I put my best into it, and I actually kinda like that it's FAR from perfect. Life is far from perfect, so it suites me in it's artistic statement (though that wasn't my intention).

 I did a bunch of tidying up and photo taking tonight. Though I'm utterly exhausted from all this work work work, I can't help but feel empowered by my recent good news.

Good stuff: My holiday bonus arrived! Which has loosened up my budget for my Disneyland trip this Friday. Yeah!
More Good stuff: Though I have my gripes about the company I work for, they have been great when it comes to being family friendly. When I told my boss one of my bosses that I'd like to take some time off next month, but odds are I'll have 24 hrs notice, or less, when My Sailor comes home, he was great about it. He actually sounded happy to hear I'll be taking some of my 50+ hrs of PTO. 

Dining room table

Even MORE Good stuff: I feel like, short of getting the carpets cleaned, 90% of the apartment is ready for My Sailor's homecoming. KEEPING it that will be the greatest challenge, since it doesn't take much to clutter up a small space. After I'm done folding clothes in the bedroom tomorrow, the apartment will be in awesome shape for the new year. Though I don't know when My Sailor is coming back exactly, it's encouraging to have so much good stuff going on within these walls lately. Now all I have to do is keep it up. Sounds easy, but I'm no domestic goddess, so it's easier said than done! It's probably a lot like my challenges with weight loss, though I've learned a few tricks to making better decisions on that front. I'm also learning balance - and maybe that's a lesson that needs to keep seeping into my life.

So, have you spotted the zombie yet?

No?
I'll give you a BIG hint...

 Good night...er...morning!

Updates, Updates, and a Lucky Lucky Girl

So my x-rays are negative, but that doesn't really mean much, as stress fractures often don't show up on them anyway. So I'm off to the podiatrist to figure out what's really wrong. I hate to say it, but there is a chance that I'm "getting old" and this is going to be par for the course. My flat feet have plagued me pretty much all my life, so it's possible that this is just another adventure in the life of my very flat feet. I'm resting it and hoping for the best at this point. I doubt I'll be pushing my running limits for a while.

That said, I have other updates as well!

I did not with the First Kiss Raffle, but a good friend reminded me that it doesn't really matter if My Sailor is first off the boat or not. Our first kiss will be unforgettable, if it's the First Kiss or the last one. Ya know, she's completely right.

Do I have any other updates to share?

Well, it's not so much as an update, but another "I feel lucky" moment.

One other vent I often hear float around the Navy waves is, "I can't because I want to wait for my sailor..." There is a very fine line we in the military life walk, somewhere between "I need to get out and about" and "I want to save XYZ event for 'us' to experience together when he/she comes home." It's not as easy as it sounds. We all wish we could just click "pause" when we drop our loved ones off, fast forward through the coming months, and click "play" when they get home. But life has no DVR. And we must live while our loved ones are protecting us.

I'm so grateful that I don't feel trapped. Even though there are things I am planning on saving for My Sailor's return, I'm so very lucky that he doesn't begrudge me getting out and about without him. While the thought of the princess pining away and wringing her hands while her prince is off to war is terribly romantic, it's not a very healthy one. I love that I'm free to go to movies, go out to eat, explore local festivals, and generally live my life while My Sailor isn't with me. With so many wonderful seasonal things going on, and no promise that My Sailor will be here next year, or the year after that, or the year after that (you get the idea)to enjoy them with me, I'm so lucky that he doesn't begrudge me living my life while he's away. It gives me something to share when I write to him, and it allows me to play the "scout" instead of the walled away princess, which (for those who know me, is MUCH more my speed). If he's around in subsequent years, I will have saved him from the boring, awful, waste of time events, and I'll be able to include him in the amazing, awesome, well worth the time events. Making memories alone isn't so bad. Making memories together is even better.

Day Post 5k, how am I feeling?

Well, I'm not in as much pain as I expected. ha ha yeah right! Write it for REAL now, J.
My hips are tight and feeling yesterday's run. It's not too bad, but I notice it when standing. It's actually a GREAT feeling, because my hips are EXACTLY where I want to slim down! More pavement running and gradual hills for me! Though tomorrow is my weigh in day, I snuck on the scale today and I'm back down 6lbs from when he left. 9 more to go to meet my goal - hopefully 8 after tomorrow AM.

Thankfully, my toe pain ended with some rest, and my blistered arch is FAR more managable today. I took a rest day and it was worth it. I finished up my Christmas cards to the folks on the Boxer Boards.
  

I had a good lunch with a new found "get through this deployment" buddy, also my race buddy, and tomorrow I'll be back at work.

There are SO many rumors that float around during deployments, that it's sometimes hard to know what to trust and what not to.Though I've heard a fair share of stuff, I only trust 100% what comes from my moral officer and what comes from My Sailor (or official word from the Navy). The truth is, I'm not 100% sure when he's coming home. I don't have a date and time to pick him up. I've heard a couple different things, but I'm not even sure. I just know that I'll get a phone call, I'll get in the car, and I'll go get him. As I've said before, Submarine life is the silent life. It's not widely publicized, so it's hard to get any information as far as what to expect - except for this:

Apparently there is a very real "boat stink", and it will be on EVERYTHING. So I'm going to have a tub of oxiclean on hand as soon as he gets home.

But other than that nothing is assured, except for maybe one thing:

No amount of "boat stink" will keep me from hugging him for a good long time.

Visiting the Parents, the Dress and Proving a Point

I made it safe and sound to Southern California with an uneventful flight. Don't worry - I'll be posting pictures from a recent friend's visit to Washington, but today is about different stuff.
Today is about visiting the family and enjoying time back in my home town.

This morning, we stopped by Starbucks for a bit of breakfast and then came home. Then Mom broke out "The Dress". It was GREAT to see it and not see pictures. The colors turned out more beautiful than I could have imagined! I'm SO happy with it! I didn't try it on yet though. I want to make sure I have the right undergarments on under it first. The dress still needs some of the custom work done and I'm so happy to see things coming together. It feels "real" finally.

Now on to the point I'm proving.

Thanksgiving is a decidedly European American holiday. (Trust me, the Native American people do not celebrate it as the more Anglo Saxton population does.) And I'm reminded about how unhealthy our nation has become. Feasting is often associated with good events, but we also find it as a common trait among fallen civilizations. My family gave up on "feasting" a long time ago. Instead, we enjoy the holiday favorites, in moderation, usually followed by a walk.

So this year, I'm out to prove my new mantra as "true". THERE ARE NO VACATIONS FROM A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE.

Expect more on that one that soon on the Wellness blog, but I'll just say this much - it's noon and I've already run 2 miles on the treadmill. Eat that turkey!

Staying Power, And Old Friends.

Just Dance 3 is proving to be an amazing work out. My shoulders and arms ache in places that weight lifting never could, and, no matter how hurt I am, I seem to forget all about it when I'm in the throws of "Airplanes" or "California Gurls". So much fun and such a great work out.  And ya know, I think I actually AM picking up dance moves! Anytime I hear one of my favorite songs to play in the car, I start dancing in my seat. :) For a motion-challenged-dancer, that's a pretty big deal!

If there is one thing the journey to wellness has taught me - it's that there is really only one "trick" to healthy living. It's a huge part of just about anything in life - Staying Power.  My eating habits, drinking habits, work out habits, meditation habits, artistic habits and all that all have to do with Staying Power.  It's a pretty big concept to consider.

Small world - one of my childhood friends and I are planning to meet up next week. We were best buds through most of grade school, went different directions in high school, and just happen to end up in the same corner of the country now, so many years later. It's kind of a track to meet with her, but I'm sure it'll be fun.

Friday at the Y

Tonight, after work, I decided to get out of the house, away from screens for a while, and try out a class at the Y. I figured that Friday night would be a good time to go, especially for a newbie like me. I haven't taken a group fitness class since my mom was teaching jazzersize and I was knee high to a grass hopper.

I figured that Spinning wouldn't require too much coordination and it just happened to be in the right time slot. (Which, since it was the ONLY class that I could make it too, was even more of a deciding factor.)

Let me say, that Spinning work out was AMAZING. I mean, seriously - look at that picture. It's JUST an innocent little stationary bike, right? Right...until it's under the direction of a sadistic very fit instructor. We did intervals. We stood. We crouched. We climbed hills. We sprinted. The instructor was awesome and made sure to praise me since it was my first time. It's funny how pushing yourself (and someone recognizing it) makes such a big difference in your day. Now, I want to go back. Even after an hour plus in the hot tub, my legs are getting that tingle of working out. Which means the next 2 days will SUCK, but I've got a plans for that.

I have lots of walking in mind this weekend. There is a local craft fair I'm going to check out, and I'm thinking of hitting up a local mall or going to Seattle (on foot) to poke around. Worst case, I can walk down to the movie theater.We'll see how adventurous I get. And if the weather keeps me more indoors than outdoors, I'm also discovering the addictive qualities of Dance Dance Revolution (even though I still suck at it).

Reality check: Every once in a while, I lose sight of how my mind is different now than when I was truly obese. Obesity is a prison. Not just in your body - but even more so in your mind. At least it was for me. One I didn't understand I had the key to all along. I would really stress out about how I looked, if I was the heaviest girl around, etc. In the spinning class, there were 5 women, the instructor, and 1 man that ducked out 1/2 way through. But here's the thing - I DIDN'T CARE. It's true, what they say. Say something to yourself often enough, and you'll come to believe it. It's how you learn anything in life - repetition. I believed I was fat, ugly, and unlovable for DECADES because that's what some cruel kids in grade school treated me as. Now, I'm in my 30s and I feel free from that. Sure, I still have the natural "compare yourself to others" every once in a while (when I do this, I ALWAYS fall short). But it didn't even enter my head when I stepped on the bike. Sure I was the heaviest. I was also the tallest, the one with the longest hair, the only first timer, etc. It's refreshing and encouraging to recognize how my mindset has changed.
I guess you can say, I finally got out of my own way.

Mindset Changes and Glee invades my dreams

Mindset changes
Situation
 I realized today, as I clocked out for my 1st lunch break, that I'm 1/3rd of the way through the work day! (It's a 12 hr shift today.) I also have a long list of chores to do (laundry, vacuming, dusting, bathroom cleaning) today. I am leaving for Oregon to visit some friends, and, let's face it, unless it involves putting laundry in the machines and taking it out, or the occasional load of dishes in the sink, My Sailor is just too tired to deal with it. The Navy has been running him ragged lately. So, stiff upper lip, carry on, and I have my to-do list cut out for me tonight! I chipped away at the dishes and am ready to move the laundry I ran during lunch into the dryer.

What is the mindset change I noticed?
Instead of getting overwhelmed by my massively ambitious to-do list, I find myself tackling it one moment at a time, knowing I filled the moment before with as much as I could to complete the task, whether it's at my job or some cleaning chore, with all quality and attention it needed to be completed. It feels good. I may not get it all done today, but I might find some time to get up early tomorrow and finish it up.

Situation:
My Sailor and I  did go to the fair on Sunday. It was a hot day, and we walked around. When I was younger, stuffing myself full of fried fair food was a treat! But on that day, we shared 1 elephant ear w/ cinnamon and sugar - and we threw 1/2 of it away. Turns out quickly fried dough isn't good on a hot day beyond a few bites. We weren't even really tempted by anything, should we did split one chocolate chip cookie from a local bakery stand on the way out. It was just "okay". We didn't spend a fortune on anything. We played a couple of games and we looked at the rides, but everything was SO expensive, we couldn't justify throwing even our full budget for the trip into the experience. We ended up giving our extra game/ride tickets to a family with a young child. Hopefully it made their day a little brighter.

What is the mindset change I noticed?
The Fair isn't what it used to be back before the internet was prolific. Now, if I really wanted battered-deep-fried-fill-in-the-blank, I can get it online. It's not as "special" as it was then. Oh - and I realized just what Mom and Dad felt when they scoffed at the price tags of things like a simple ferris wheel ride.

Dream on!
As you may or may not know, I'm somewhat notorious for having bad dreams. I don't mean your average "bad dreams". I mean full on nightmares and night terrors that would curl your toes. Lately, most of my dreams, pleasant or otherwise, include my family members, so I guess I miss them more than I think I do.

Anyway, last night's dream was actually funny. (For the record, I do not watch Glee- I just enjoy the music from time to time.)

I dreamed that my mom was the principle of a high school (think Ivy league brick building and everything) but she was attacked (shot) by a man who happened to be wearing a Jewish Prayer Shawl. So she outlawed all shawls on campus. Never one to take something lying down, I started a full on revolt - musical style! The student body was gathered there and I started a rousing speech about how we should be allowed to wear shawls and scarves! A musical number kicked in that would make High School Musical blush, and we started dancing around. I passed out TONS of shawls and scarves (purple ones, which have NOTHING to do with Jewish Prayer Shawls - purple just happens to be my favorite color). In the way of all good rebels, I got called into the principles office to face my mom and discuss the issue.  During the discussion, I brought up how it was smart it was to outlaw all shawls/scarves in the dress code, rather than outlawing Jewish Prayer Shawls in specific as that was unconstitutional (even in my DREAMS I'm logical).  (Now in waking life, my mom's best friend is a Jewish gal whom I consider an aunt, so we bare Jewish people NO ill will whatsoever.) I validated the fact that the attack must have been horrifying for her.  Then I asked her if the man was wearing jeans. She said he was. I brought up that, if she outlawed every thing her attacker wore, I would be going to school in my underwear and NOBODY wants to see THAT! She conceeded the point and lifted the ban.

I woke up to discover the entire "episode" took about 2 hours.

Glee - eat your heart out.

Some Fun and Mixed Emotions

I've been such a mixed bag of emotions lately, I have a hard time making sense of it enough to blog it out. So let's catch up, shall we?

Sunday was bitter sweet. It was the closing day for Into the Woods. (Click here in case you missed the opening night blog.) The show went great, the goodbyes were unexpectedly emotional for me, and left me feeling a bit on the blue side. I had a lot of fun with the show, and I'm now completely exhausted, but I wouldn't have traded a moment of it. Funny how life does that, huh? While I didn't make any life-long friendships out of it, it's great to see people around town and actually recognize a few. Makes it feel a little more like home.

And now it's officially September. I'm reminded with each passing day that My Sailor will be deploying soon. I've been asking him to take a weekend off before he leaves, but he tells me won't be possible. He's actually schedule for duty at least 1 day/night at least 1 weekend day for every remaining weekends he has here.  I was really hoping we could have one solid weekend together, with no rehearsals, no duty days, no work, etc, but now it's clear that that isn't going to happen. And that doesn't make me happy. Sure, I'm putting on a good face daily, doing my best not to dwell on it - but I'd be lying to you (my readers - ye brave, ye few) if I didn't say the situation can be extremely frustrating. Him leaving hangs over us like a little cloud that we choose to ignore most of the time. Don't get me wrong - I'm not frustrated with My Sailor, I'm just generally frustrated with the situation. I hate waiting around, and planning (or, in this case, not planning) my life around anyone's schedule leaves me feeling just that - like I'm waiting around for him to have time to spend with me, doing my best to remain available.

So, I'm still learning as I muddle my way through all of this.

But I'll tell you what - I couldn't be more grateful for my family and the skills I've learned from them over the years. (Not to mention the skills I learned from an amazing therapist during my recovery from a nasty divorce.)

So what's my solution to all this?

Embrace the new adventure!  So my journey through WWCA's Into the Woods is complete and the timing isn't right for a new show just yet. Shows are a large time commitment that I'm not ready to make for the above mentioned reasons - there will always be a show going on that I can audition for. Time with My Sailor is hard to come by. It wouldn't be fair to anyone to get into one right now, especially since I'm planning on traveling home for the holidays to visit my family.

But, what is the new adventure?




In order to end this listless feeling, I need define a direction here. So here are my plans:

Join the YMCA - They have some fun looking classes and this is a great way to focus on my health and to make sure I get out of the house. When you work from home and live in a new place, ya' need something else to go out for other than the eat.

Register for the Princess 1/2 marathon, 2012 - Having a small vacation to look forward to will help BIG TIME! Registration is $140 if I register before October 2nd and the race is on February 26th, 2012. There is a free training program that looks completely do-able. It would have be running (or run/walking) 3 days/week.  So while I have no fear of being unprepared physically, I know there is the chance that My Sailor won't be there to cheer me on. It would mean the world to me for him to be able to attend, but I know I'll have to be prepared to fly solo on this one. Well, maybe not completely solo! I am part of a running team (TeamVoice) so, instead of dreading going it alone, maybe I should look at this as a chance to make some new friends?

Join the Navy Women's Volleyball team - It's not yet clear how much of a time commitment this may be, but I'm in! I'm looking forward to finding out if I still have that ace of a serve I discovered in my youth. I'm betting I can figure it out again. ;)


Set build - To help stay plugged into the local theater community, I've voulenteered to keep on helping out with set building when I can.

Wedding DIY - With our wedding coming up next year, there are PLENTY of little projects to keep me busy - like building my feather fan, figuring out a new stationary design (since the Animal Kingdom was ex-nayed due to budget restraints and guest limitations). The Art Man ) will (hopefully) still be doing the artwork for them. Then it's just a matter of putting them together, coming up with a schedule of events, booking things, and then the final step of paying them off! Of course, the pay off won't come until closer to the event, but it's nice to get a start on everything and have actual dates and vendors set up. I already have Save The Dates ready for a new date to be put in (most likely, October 18th, 2012).  I'm also thinking of customizing some Keds for my wedding shoes... we'll see how creative I get, but I have some ideas.

Writing my first books - Since I write for a Disney World Fan magazine, and my family is already behind me being a writer since I was first published as a teenager, I've decided to go ahead and start work on some young children's books. Now, I don't do art, but I'm thinking doing Disneyland based, personalized, choose your own adventure books might be a fun way to indulge my Disney passion - and hopefully make some extra money! Though the thing about writing is that most authors don't get out much!

Offer Dog Walking Services - Since My Sailor and I have decided to extend our current lease, and the holidays are coming up, I think I could make some extra cash and get to know my neighbors by offering a dog walking/house sitting service. Of course, I'd have to work this around my schedule, so we'll see where this goes. It'll largely depend on where Thanksgiving finds me, and how long I'll be gone for Christmas. One good thing about My Sailor not taking any time off - I'm wracking up the vacation time!

So that's the map for the fall/winter... It's just the waiting to get into all of that that is killing me. But no matter what happens, it's fair to say that I'm gonna miss this guy... badly.

Confessions and Fresh Starts

One of the best things about life is true forgiveness. It's a gift we give ourselves sometimes. It's picking ourselves up when we stumble. It gives us the freedom to start again, change course, or just cut ourselves a little slack.

Lately, I've been cutting myself some slack in the food and work out department. Don't get me wrong, I'm still doing my daily mile with the dog, but sometimes that's all I get to. And yes, I've been eating my calories - and lately a bit more. 

With My Sailor leaving soon, I decided that now isn't the time to stress out about any of this. So I'm cutting myself some slack and deciding to move forward. I work long days a when My Sailor has overnight duty so that I can duck out early and spend time with him when he's free.

I realized the other night that our spending is getting surprisingly under control, despite all the craziness lately. I signed up for Mint.com. It's an amazing service that breaks down your spending habits into weekly or monthly updates. It links all your credit cards and bank accounts to really give you a complete picture of how you're doing.  For example, I noticed that we spent almost $70 last month at COFFEE SHOPS! We don't even really drink coffee!  That's WAY too much! So I'll be sticking to my tea and Tassimo at home. (My Sailor immediately trembled in fear as I can now see how much he spends at vending machines on base.)

In October, I'll be starting the Galloway training plan to get myself through (drum roll please) the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon in Feb! I figure My Sailor and I can use a short trip to Disney World to get our Wedding planning visit under our belts and to use our free day we have from the passes we bought for my birthday last year or head over to Universal and check out the Harry Potter attractions. My goal is to have all my weight lost by the time he returns! It's about 30lbs, so I think it's nearly doable.

So there we have it - forgiveness is giving ourselves the freedom to make mistakes, learn from them, and move on.

Stonger+Faster=Lighter? And a Few words on my Forced Perspective

So I'm feeling like a stronger runner, which is awesome. Running a mile no longer exhausts me, which is AWESOME. But does Stonger + Faster = Lighter?

Not necessarily. Actually, I'm up 4lbs from my lowest last week.

I do understand a little bit of this. It's probably a combo between 'that time of the month', fighting off an illness (My Sailor has had a NASTY cold for about a week), and a little bit of unhealthy fuel I've been putting in lately (a trip to the brewery and some movie theater candy). I've also upped my calorie intake since I was making almost ZERO head way, so part if this might be an adjustment to that too. I'm not going to freak out, but I will admit to a little frustration. I've been drinking TONS of water lately, so I'm hoping that flushes everything out.

Okay, so the fitness stuff is what it is - a constant work in progress that I feel good about. It's something I do for me.  So let's move on to the other topic today.

I'm a reader and frequent commenter on a diverse group of blogs. I guess I like learning what I can from other people's stories, and share what I've learned during mine. But I'm aware that sometimes a different perspective can come off as "holier-than-thou" which really isn't my intention. When this occasionally hits a nerve w/ a blogger, it reminds me to take a look back at my shared perspective, and see where it came from. After all, we are products of our varied life experiences. So here's something that got me thinking:

Why don't I care more about fashion/beauty?
I spent most of my youth trying to get into things other girls my age were interested in. Honestly, I gave up. Sure, I'll window shop every once in a while, but since I've also lived with a very set budget (or something to save for - like an annual vacation), I have a very clear list of what is a necessity in my book and what is an "extra". Things that are "extras" come last. Fashion that doesn't stand the test of time is an "extra" on that list. If I'm out of fashion for one season, I really don't care. I go for comfort first. When I have something to look forward to (currently, a wedding, visiting family over the holidays, possibly a move...) the "extras" that include "stuff" go on the back burner entirely. I'd rather spend my "extra" money on going out and sharing an experience w/ My Sailor or friends, than on myself.  Though maybe I should go a little easier on this one and give myself a little MORE permission to splurge one ME, though splurging on someone else FEELS like splurging on me when I get to share it with them. Complicated topic, isn't it?

I guess I have a little different view of the world. (Please don't read "better", just different - I ment what I typed there.)  I spent a LOT of time in my pre-30 days wondering obsessing about what other people were thinking.  I finally realized that the biggest gift we can give ourselves is being comfortable in our own skin. Once that is achieved (and I'd say I'm there 98% of the time now, I reserve 1% for wedding stuff, but that's faded over time), thoughts of what others are thinking really start to fade away. Take a moment and take a deep breath and imagine what it would feel like if you weren't worried about what someone else thought? Just for a second. What if you really didn't care what you co-workers were thinking? Or what the person the treadmill next to you thinks of your pace?  Pretty liberating feeling, isn't it?

Now, I know fashion isn't all about what we think society will think of us, but it seems so focused on that sometimes that I have a hard time separating it out, so I just lean towards "if it makes me feel good in my own skin, and it's healthy, it's all good."

 Afterall, the only person we have to be comfortable  at the end of the day, once all the shoes are put away, the make up is washed off, is the person staring back at us from the mirror.
(okay - and MAYBE your spouse and kids... but you know what I mean!)

Workout Update - Some Froggy Inspiration and Stress Management

This week is supposed to be beautiful here. Mid 70's, sunny, and BEAUTIFUL. So beautiful, that I decided to get back on the 5k/day band wagon that fell apart when work and Hell Week collided (though, for the record, I walked A TON while the family was out here - between the beach, the zoo, stairs at the theater, Pioneer Square, the Seattle Underground Tour, etc - I actually LOST 1 pound). Now that my schedule has quieted down just a little, I've started to really kick it into gear in the work out front and get back on my 5K/Day challenge.

I'm very happy to announce that I'm pretty much running 2 solid miles w/o walking anymore. YEAH! It's exciting to see myself grow as an athlete (did I just call myself an ATHLETE?!) . I may never be winning races, but I seem to reach a new Personal record every month! Today I shaved 3 seconds off my mile time from August 3rd! I'll take it!
 
Anyway, as I've said before, I find that DAILY work outs are essential for my stress management. Especially in the next few months. While I'm excited to announce I'll be visiting my home town (and no doubt stopping at Disneyland) for the holidays, I will be spending most of my spare time up here focusing on my fitness until my next birthday.

While I can feel the Fat Girl in me saying, "That's a LOT of work. Really?!" The person I am now overpowers with an immediate, "The benefits are going to be awesome. You're gonna look and feel SO good! 32 will be THE BEST YEAR YET for your health and fitness! You can do anything."

Yet, I haven't seen a lot of changes on the scale. I guess that's a GOOD thing. It means I didn't really gain weight during Hell Week. In fact, there were many times that My Sailor had to make sure I stopped to eat something other than a Nugo Protein bar (delicious and inexpensive by the case at CostCo) and an apple. I was concerned a bit because I was operating off very little sleep, but it turns out that it all worked out and I was down 1 pound on Sunday. I will admit that i did feel a bit like a blob though since I didn't get in anything like a "structured" work out, though we coupled eating out and walking around very well.

I'm also under the impression that acting burns a lot of calories. It's exhausting to emote on such a big scale!

Anyway, as I rounded the last 1/4 mile of my 3rd and final mile today, this song popped into my head. Enjoy!

Next update will probably be later today or tomorrow and should include some Underground Tour photos!

Scheduling, Blood, and Showbiz!

As anyone who's worked 2+ jobs knows, sometimes prioritizing can be difficult. That's pretty much been what it's like for me this week. I expected it, but I recently found out that I'll be picking up My Sailor's dad tomorrow. While I have no problems with this really - I thought I'd share what the next 24 hours has in store for me, just in case I don't end up being able to post here until next week.

So here's tomorrow's schedule:

Wake up: 5:15 am
Walk the dog, make breakfast
Drive to base and back: 6 am
Work: 6:30 am - 5pm
Lunch break: 30 minutes, walk the dog
Rehearsal: 6 pm -9:30pm
Work out, shower, dinner, prepare for company
Leave for Seattle: 11 pm
Return from Seattle: 1am-ish, Friday
See company is settled in, bed time around 1:30ish probably.
Wake up: 6:15am
Walk the dog, make breakfast.
Drive to Base and back: 7am

THANK GOD I'M TAKING THE REST OF FRIDAY OFF! All things said this week, I'm giving myself a break from the 30 day 5k. If I get to it, GREAT, but I'm going to do SOMETHING every day this week. Saturday, we're planning on going to the park and the zoo! I can't wait!

My Sailor will have some good father and son time while I recover from Thursday in time to meet everyone for dinner Friday night before my show opens!

Which brings me to a much more fun update - THE SHOW OPENS IN 3 DAYS!

We're working hard to iron out the kinks. I almost forgot how fun it is to do this kind of stuff. Exhausting? Sure! But so much fun as well! I can't wait to get my cast sweatshirt and wear it proudly long after the show is closed. It turns out this theater has a unique opening night tradition - Wine and cheese night! At about 6pm, the doors open and the patrons get to enjoy a mix and mingle with the cast and get up close and personal with our set/stage. It seems like a really cool way to get the audience into the spirit.  I'm not sure if my gang will be attending this, but I can't wait for the show to kick into high gear. Every time I do a show, I come away exhausted, but reminded on why I love this so much...

And that leads me to one more update. I'm doing a few "special effects" for our show! Namely, I'm in charge of blood and guts!  In one scene, a prince falls into a bunch of thorns face first and is blinded. What do you think folks? Convincing? 

And it's DELICIOUS! Based on vanilla pudding and almond paste, I sure hope it doesn't become a backstage snack for the cast.

Triumphs and Pit Falls

I'm FINALLY about to crawl into bed. I've been awake since 5:30am and it's nearly 11:30pm as I write this. I have a million things on my brain, but for the moment, let's focus on the Triumphs of the day -

First off, I got all of my scenes right. I'd been stumbling over a couple spots for a while, but tonight it all sank right in the pocket. It felt great! My costumes feel great and look good as well. I never get tired of watching my fellow cast members on stage either. This show is awesome and arguably the best I've been in yet (barring the 4 person version of American Standard). I'll post pictures when I can.

More triumphs, Sista' Girl has started new journey to better health and I'm super proud of her. And I'm always thrilled when my friends and family get on the health bandwagon. The healthier they are, the better the chance that they'll be around longer! Besides, I'm REALLY looking forward to our next RBT! Wahoo!

So those are the triumphs.

What are the pitfalls?

Well, I'm choosing to go to bed before midnight, rather than do another 20-30 minutes on the treadmill/elliptical. Working 10 hour days at my day job plus rehearsal makes trying to get ANYTHING else done a challenge! And when My Sailor has overnight duties, it's especially no fun (though the time DOES fly). So I'll be up and working by 6:30 every morning until Friday - when I'm finally taking a day off.  Did I mention I need a vacation?  I did get 1 mile in while walking Clydas today, but not the other 2.

Anyway, another pit fall is that it seems that I miss my friends a LOT today. I know many of them have busy lives as well. Even when we were local, we'd often go a month or so without seeing each other. But it just sees like lately I miss them a BUNCH. Probably because my parents are visiting this weekend. I guess it was bound to happen. I'm bound to get a little homesick, even as I carve out a new space here in the BEAUTIFUL Pacific Northwest.

Well, tomorrow is a new day and a new 5k!
I would say "wish me luck", but "luck" has never had anything to do with health. Wish me good choices!

Memories/Strategies to Stay Sane during Hell Week

It's officially "hell week" for Into The Woods- the musical I'm in. Just what is 'hell week'? In case you haven't been following the blog, that's dress rehearsal every night the week before opening.  It's the week the Tech crew dives in and learns when and how the sets need to be changed, the lighting and sound folks learn their cues, we actors figure out what make up works and doesn't work under stage lights, and the customer gets the final threads and props together. It requires a lot of patience, but it's also a really exciting time. For the first time, we really get to see how things come together!

That said, this week, my schedule is bordering on complete insanity. See, My Sailor's dad is coming over from Michigan to spend the weekend with us and my parents are coming up from California to spend the weekend in Seattle. Oh, did I mention it's My Sailor's Dad's birthday and my parents 40th wedding anniversary, and opening night for my show all in 1 weekend?

To get some time off to spend with my loved ones, I'm working 10 hour days Monday - Thursday this week. I'll get off work in time to throw some food down my throat and head off to the theater. And let's not forget my 5k challenge! Looks like that will happen via late nights at the gym. Why am I not skipping those work outs "just for this week"? Because I have a funny feeling they will be the ONLY thing keeping me sane!

Well, that and some good memories.

See, whenever I need a vacation (and boy, do I ever!), I recall vacations/trips of old and let myself marinade in the memories sometimes. Lately, I've been thinking of the very first RBT (Roasted Bear Tour) in 2009, where Sista' Girl and I went to Disney World together. It was such an amazing week! Disney World is truly at it's most magical during the holidays. I even remember our sore feet and joints with a nostalgic fondness now. So I thought I'd include a few pictures from that trip in this post.

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

Can't wait for the 2012 trip! It's TOO far away!

My view on Good Health practices

I used to hate my scale. I used to either feel disgusting or elated on Weigh In Day, depending on what that number on the scale said.

Well, I can't quite put into words what changed, over the past few months, my mind has changed completely. I've gone from being frustrated with the scale to seeing it as a tool to help me measure my overall fitness. But it's just one tool of many. The most important tool is how I feel.

When I something healthy for my body, I generally find I have sense of well being. When I go for a work out, even though I really didn't feel like it, I know I'm doing something good for myself and I feel stronger - not just physically, but on every level - emotionally, spiritually, etc.

Every time I have a crisp delicious homemade green salad, I feel a small sense of peace and satisfaction.

Every time I get on the scale (which is still nearly daily), and it goes up or down a pound, my mood doesn't change. The result no longer rules my day. It takes 3500 calories beyond my 1200/day to gain a pound of fat in 1 day. I don't eat nearly that much on a REALLY off day, so I know I'm heading the right direction, even if it says it's up a few pounds. Water and muscles are heavy, after all. In fact, I only "count" my LOWEST weight during any given month as my weight for that month. And ya know what? It works! Even if I only lose 1 pound/month, it's a pound in the right direction!(For the record, since June I'm down from 211 to 206.) Weekly weigh-ins just don't seem to work well for me, so I found something that did.

When I break out the tape measure once a month - then I'm looking forward to the results! I see them every day in the way my clothes fit, so the tape measure has been my best tool to remind me that I'm going the right direction. Since I only do this once a month, I stay motivated to make good decisions.


Life is a journey - an adventure. The longer I make healthier decisions, the healthier I'll be and the longer I'll be around for My Sailor, my loved ones, and all the adventures to come.

To sum up, I've learned that:
1) I can't control everything that happens in my body. But I can choose to control the fuels I put in, the rest I give it, and the amount of work I make it do. Everything else, from my ability or inability to get pregnant to the high cholesterol I can't seem to find a cause for,is beyond my control - so Hakuna Matata to that. (DISCLAIMER: I also come from the school of thought of "medicine only when absolutely necessary". Working in the medical field has taught me that doctors are just people "practicing" medicine. We really don't know enough to say we're "doing" medicine yet. We probably never will.)
2) 'Perfection' isn't a number on a scale. Happiness isn't a waist size. And being lovable has nothing to do with the amount of junk in the trunk. It's all to do with what you believe. I may never be "perfect". I'll always be a work in progress, but I'm okay with that. Am I happy with myself? When I make good and healthy decisions - YES. Am I worthy of love? Completely. I believe you can't give what you don't have. Giving what you don't have is God's realm. But giving yourself the gift of care, just as you'd take care of someone you love, is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself - 'cause truly, it keeps on giving!
3) If I do the work, the results will follow. I find if I focus on the results I want, it's easy to get discouraged. If I focus on just the simple task ahead (like picking out a healthy lunch, or going for a walk one step at a time), I find myself capable of more than my mind thought I could do!

I know as long as I do the work the weight will come off - eventually.