Being a Super Model AKA The One that Comes with a Sound Track

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I have always hated failing and been afraid of regretting a decision. Most decisions I've made have been carefully overthought, weighed out, and measured by then "Will I regret this in a year?"  As I've gotten older and am now raising The Impossible Girl, I deeply examine the ramifications of those overthinking decisions. Chronically Cautious has made me err much more to the side of 'safe'. 

And here I am, trying to encourage The Impossible Girl to try different things - to be a 'beginner' and make mistakes. I realize I've done a terrible job of modeling that in my life. How can I possibly expect her to step out of her comfort zone if I'm so sunk deep in mine lately? How can I expect her to reach out and make connections beyond her school yard, if I'm not willing to extend myself and show her how it's done? 

We've pretty much had the same tiny circle for most of her life. 

Luckily, I have a bit of a restless spirit and a bit of wanderlust, so I plan trips and find small events to expose us both too. Since this may be our last holiday season together for a couple years, I'm doing everything I can to plan fun things to do locally (we can not travel this year to my family, and my family isn't coming to see us either, so we are working on our own holiday schedule.)  Last week, I took my kiddo (who struggles with crowds and loud noises) back to the 5th Avenue Theater for a stunning rendition of Mary Poppins. 

The closest I could get her to taking a picture with the Christmas tree at intermission.

The 5th Avenue theater offers tactile sensory experiences for folks to feel everything from wigs, to costumes and tap shoes.

We spent the night in a hotel downtown (another experience she loves) and the next day walked around the area. It was REALLY stormy, but we found a Gameworks arcade and played a bunch of new games. (Including one we loved that was COMPLETELY in Japanese.)

The hotel was doing a holiday party event - which included crafting ornaments, cards, and wreathes, while enjoying smores, snacks, and drinks. It was different, quiet, and lovely.

Yes - we do 'different' things, but they are generally all within a very 'safe' wheelhouse. We aren't really 'new' to theater (the shows just differ). We're also not new to arcade games (though we do get lots of practice losing). 

But what have I truly been a beginner at within the last decade? Not much... honestly, not anything. 

Since the art school that had an after school program at her school cancelled it, The Impossible Girl hasn't taken an interest in anything else. I really hate for her life to consist of the tiny world at her tiny school and Speech and Occupational Therapy. She needs other people in her life beyond the classroom. But how can she build those connections when she doesn't want to do anything new because "I'm not good at that." 

I mean, we are in the stage of grades and passing and failing. We have lots of discussions that mistakes happen - and we learn more from our mistakes than our successes, but do we actually live that? Do I, actually live that. 

Do I actually LIVE that? 

Or do I keep myself in a space where I'm not likely to fail because innately feel like mistakes/failures are a negative thing, rather than just a part of life?

Today, we took The Impossible Girl ice skating. We haven't been ice skating since last January, but she liked it then, despite being a true beginner at it. 

Now, for context for my newer readers - I'm from Southern California.

 Ice skating wasn't a common past time in an area of the world where Christmas trees and palm trees are interchangeable.

  When I was younger, I saw my mother have an accident on the ice, cutting open her face on the ice while ice skating. It scared me away from skating for a decade or more. Once I overcame that, I still didn't make it a regular part of my life. 

But now I'm knocking on the door of 45 years old, and it's time I allowed myself to be a beginner. 

To try something new and mess up!  Sure, the cost may feel higher now that I'm older. My body doesn't respond the same way to some mistakes (I'm currently icing my ankle and back in my walking boot...), but ya know what?

 I'd rather wear out than rust out. 

So we went ice skating today, in an effort to get our family MOVING more and sitting in front of screens less. And she LOVED it just as much as the previous time. It is noticeably difficult for her. Her OT wants her to work on leg strength and balance has always been a challenge - but she proves every day that she can do hard things. 

There is one way to build confidence in humans. Present them with a task they can't do - until they discover they can  do it, and repeat the process. It's the same for children and adults. 

This week, we also did a Parent's Night Out at Code Ninjas! We knew NO ONE there. They were very welcoming and, though she didn't make any friends, she had a good time. She did something completely new in a place that was 100% mistake friendly. We'll be exploring her interest in coding further as well.

Yes, there is truly value to trying something and knowing when to quit. There is absolutely no point in beating against a brick wall. But some brick walls were meant to be scaled. 

How do I plan to continue building on this pattern of building strength through discomfort myself? 

Currently, I'm looking into archery lessons on the weekends, doing a stair climb at Seattle Center, and embracing the uncertainty or being a 'noob' at something. 

What else can I be new at in 2025?  After all, if I can model that failure isn't fatal and growth doesn't come from comfort zones, she might just decide to take a risk and change the world someday. 

She's already changing it - just by being the mighty force she is every day.