Monday, December 19, 2011

I won the lottery...

Here it is, nearly 2:30am and I just finished work. Maybe I'm a bit punchy, but I kinda feel like I won the lottery. Not the money lottery (though that WOULD be nice!) but the life lottery.

First, I got on the scale and found out I'm down 2lbs from when I was on the scale this time last week. Another nudge towards my goal!

Then, I needed to get an RX refilled and they did it within an hour! Usually they end up having to call out for it, so I won there.

I knew I had 10 hours of work ahead of me, but I wasn't ready to go home, so I swung by the local movie theater. I promised myself a flick, IF there was something playing at that time. Arthur Christmas had started 5 minutes before I pulled in, which means I only missed the previews anyway. Awesome. And the movie was FANTASTIC! I laughed, I cried, I can't wait to see it again. I'm owning this new Christmas Classic. Way to go Sony Animation!

But that's just the little stuff - winning the life lottery is so much more... (Do NOT cue Charlie Sheen here please. No Charlie Sheen allowed on this blog - EVER.)

I've mentioned before on my blog about how I won the parent lottery (if you're a new reader, check out some of the "adoption" or "family" tags for more info)- and my parents are still amazing me. Since I'm adopted, there is some argument for "nature vs nurture", but I have to say that I feel I owe all my good traits to my awesome parents. I value my family more each day. Even my big brother is pretty amazing - a puzzlement, but amazing none-the-less.

I won the "guy" lottery too. (Sure, unlike the parent lottery, I had to play and lose a few times before hitting the jackpot, but isn't that how the lotto works?) My Sailor had been my "safety net" for nearly 1/2 my life before he became, well, My Sailor. He's taught me some very valuable things over our time together. But the one that stands out most tonight is the mentality of "It'll be alright." As long as I can remember, those were his magic words to make me feel better. Sure, I'd heard them before, but for some reason, coming from him, I always believed it. Maybe it's his stead fast belief (that I now share as a recovering-fatalist) that all things work out for good, and, even if it's not what you expected, it's alright. Or it will be - eventually.

As I wind down tonight, I'm re-reading his emails he's sent me from this deployment and I'm reminded what a good writer he is and how his writing, for me, has the same quality as his spoken words. It's sincere, well said, and simple. So even though we've discovered there are only so many ways to type "I miss you" and "I love you" and "I can't wait to see you again", the value doesn't diminish over time. I still believe every word. I guess I finally understand what trust really means. It goes beyond the simple fact that I don't worry about cheating in our relationship (yes, there are women on his sub). I wish I had better words to describe it. I feel I'm close to describing it adequately, but still falling far short on the deep under current of empowerment that runs through it.

And I have a holiday bonus coming! That IS like hitting the lotto right there!


  1. Sounds like you had some good luck both for the day and for life! It's so great that you have a solid relationship that makes you feel so secure - hold on to that :)!

  2. It's positive thinking like that that will help you through these tough months and keep you grateful. I'm constantly amazed at your strength, J. xoxo