Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Thriving in the Muck

Clydas is recovering much the same as yesterday. So there isn't much to report on the pup front.

But as My Sailor's inevitable deployment creeps up on me, I'm learning about a whole range of emotions that are all muddled together. I'm sorting and wading through it all one step at a time. It's the only way I know how to do things. That - and lots and lots of research.  I'm a research hound...

Anyway, I found a few great articles that I thought I'd share here. The tips are for living under a stressful situation such as a considerably long distance relationship, but I also think they are good tips for any relationship in general. (Click on the link above to see the complete article.)

1)  Don't be too hard on yourself. "The transition from nightly dinner dates to dinner on the couch for one can be a shock to the system...."
It's no lie that everyone is their own worst enemy. I am no exception to this rule. It's been a true gift to learn how to accept my feelings, live with them for a little while, and trust that I won't drown in their intensity. Everything happens for a purpose, even sadness.
By the same token, I'm a firm believer that every woman should live ON HER OWN for at least one year of her life. I'm so grateful for my time flying solo. It gave me the confidence to know that, no matter who or what comes and goes from my life, I'll be okay. I can care for myself - and with a good support system, overcome anything.

2) Focus on Creative Communication. "The cornerstone to any successful long distance relationship is communication."
This could be rephrased to say, "The cornerstone to any successful relationship is communication." And creative ways of communication are enjoyed by both parties. Whether it's  phone call, a photo, a text, or a love letter, expressions of love over any distance is valuable. I've heard of some military men who set up flowers to be delivered on special occasions prior to leaving, so that something arrives on Christmas - or they leave letters or cards behind for the family to open. While I HIGHLY DOUBT My Sailor has gone to such lengths, it just goes to show that it is possible - and sometimes, even fun!

So these were just a few tips and tricks the author had. None of it is brain surgery, but I'm so grateful that there ARE articles out there that give me an idea of what I might expect during the upcoming changes. Much of the advice is the same:
Expect to be depressed and despondant for a while. (duh) Expect days to drag for a while, but making plans to stay as busy as possible really helps. (We all know I'm ridiculously good at that!)
Make plans with friends and family. Good support is great. (I'm seeing my family over Christmas and maybe some friends or family over Thanksgiving. Clydas and I are overdue for another weekend road trip, and I plan on making myself useful at the local community theater as much as I possibly can. Did I mention Wedding planning is in there too? As well as possibly training for a marathon?)
While it's not easy - it's not the "Me and My Sailor" part that's hard. I think we're pretty well prepared for this adventure. (As prepared as we can be anyway.) ...I already can't wait until he comes home.


  1. Girl I understand what you are going through. My husband deployed a month ago and I am still adjusting. If you need someone to talk to let me know =)

  2. Keep a good support system around you and that will help a lot. Hang in there, the emotions are bound to be up and down through this adventure, but you will get through it.

  3. Thanks for the comments and support ladies!
    Life is a constant state of adjustment after all!

  4. I think seeing family will be a great pick-me-up! Also, wedding planning can become a slight obsession (speaking from experience here), and a good way to pass the time. Thinking of you as you gear up for deployment. I'm here if you need to talk!

  5. Less than Domestic Goddess - Thanks a million for the support! You might just find a random email in your box one of these days!