Thursday, November 10, 2011

An Off Day

I don't really have a good way to describe this day.

It feels like an eternity and I can't wait for it to end.

I woke up aching all over. Part of it work out soreness and part of it maybe feeling sick, and even maybe some early ToM stuff.

So I dragged myself to my office chair and worked.

I knew I was too sore to go through with more Just Dance 3 tonight.

I went to the YMCA and did a gentle Hatha Yoga class on lunch. It was JUST what I needed and felt great. For a while, I wasn't sore, but all the aches came back as I went back to work.

Figuring that I could use a moral booster, I decided to re-read the last card My Sailor gave me before he left for work.

Bad idea. Missing him got the better of me and I cried it out for a few minutes before getting back to work.

Then Clydas was being extra whiney (maybe sensing my energy a bit). I finally finished up and sat on the floor with him, hugging him and crying it out a bit more while Clydas sat there. (Did I mention how amazing my dog is?) It's all normal, I'm sure, and part of the process. All things considered, I'm doing really great 99% of the time.

But darn that 1%...

I've reached out to some people who will hopefully hook me up with some local friends. Honestly, I haven't been out with anyone local in about a month. Not for lack of trying. Everyone has just been busy. I've kept in touch with a lot of folks from home by phone - which is great, but it's not quite the same. It wasn't until I got a facial yesterday that I realized how long it's been since I've had any physical contact with another person. The self-hug position we did in yoga felt so good. In a lot of ways, that's a HUGE step for me. See, I've never been too keen on just randomly being touched by people. If I physically let someone in, it's sort of a big thing for me. I used to have to challenge myself to look people in the eyes and shake someone's hand. Being in theater was part of that personal challenge. I didn't even get a professional massage until last year - and I couldn't completely relax, but I DID enjoy it.  So to realize I miss some sort of physical contact (even a friendly hug) is sort of big for me. At the end of the day, I can pat myself on the back for that. (And yes, I'm pretty good at keeping eye contact now and shaking hands and the regular everyday stuff.) Just blogging it out ended my pity party. I love it.

With that said, I'm looking forward to a warm soak in some bubble bath, slipping under warm flannel covers, and ending the day catching up with Jamie and Claire.


  1. I personally think physical contact is essential to feeling connected and grounded. I'm glad you got some from your puppy at least :)

  2. I'm picky about who I get hugs from myself - but I so understand wanting them when no one's around to give them. Good for you for taking steps (even when they're not always successful) to connect with people.

    Do you have a connection with a group of people with loved ones who are deployed? If not - might be a thought...people who really can relate.

  3. Thanks all! You'd think so, but I'm finding that 99% of military wives are mothers - and I'm not in that place in my life, making it a little challenging to connect. The ombudsman (family moral officers) and I have been in touch. So far, the most helpful thing I've been reminded of is So I guess I'll start looking there for people with similar interests.

  4. Virtual hugs. Sorry you had such a yucky day, but you got through it!!!