Last weekend, I got to see Wicked with my Sista' Girl. It was a GREAT experience. Wicked is one of those rare shows now-a-days that is worth every penny for orchestra seats. It actually, truly 100% lives up to all the hype. 
Anyway, as we sat there at intermission, I talked about how the main character (Elphaba) is my dream role. I can truly identify with the passion by which that character lives her life (both in the book and in this more family-friendly production) and, hey, I've been the green kid! Well, okay. Not exactly green, but I've been the kid that saw things a little differently (and was heavier and more creative and passionate than most) and was ridiculed and outcast for it.
There is no denying that Elphaba's part is incredibly demanding. I would argue it's one of the most demanding roles in theater today. In fact, it probably IS the most demanding female role in theater today. But it's my dream role - and even more attractive because it's hard.
After chatting about it for a while, she said the 5 words that have stuck in my mind from that moment on...
"What are you waiting for?"
It's a simple wisdom, but is absolutely right on. What am I waiting on? The only thing I can think of to answer sounds ridiculous - A partner. Towing the rope of paying all the bills, taking care of the everyday household stuff, AND trying to make it as a musical theater leading lady sounds incredibly daunting.
So, I'm waiting on support from some mythical person?
But you know what? I know that I'm never happier than when I'm on stage. (Okay- PERHAPS I'm happier watching the fireworks in Disneyland with the right company, but I digress.) I know it will mean missing family vacations and possibly even holidays. It will mean that vacations are hard to come by. It will mean that I will be tired - A LOT. It will mean that I will have to take the best care I can of my body, my appearance, and I'll have to work hard to acquire a skill that I'm not very confident in (dancing).
And, yes, it's a frightening change.
But as I started packing up dishes last night that I really don't need, I realized something.
Revelation of the week: The scary part isn't taking the action. It's admitting what you were waiting on - was you.
Afterall, courage isn't the absence of fear. It's pushing through even though you're scared.
So... what are you waiting on?
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Glad it stuck and you were able to realize what you were waiting for/on. If the first step is the hardest, then what comes before it can, at times, seem impossible. Don't get hung up in the "what if's" and "what about..." And remember that you DO have a support group of friends and family that LOVE you and want you to succeed. So in the infamous words of the star you want to be, start "defying gravity" and be "unlimited!" Just don't forget to drop a line to "dearest momsie and popcicle." Love you sis. I'll take Clydas while you tour. :)
ReplyDeleteIncredible portrait of self-awareness. This is an awesome post! So what are you gonna do next?
ReplyDeleteThe plan is to make a plan to spend at least a period of 1 year persuing becoming a musical theater professional. :) So that's what I'm currently working on.
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