Monday, June 13, 2011

This time last year...

It's almost the middle of June and I've been a little (a lot) discouraged lately about my inability to lose weight. I'm trying to figure out why this bothers me so much and I think part of it is fear. Afterall, last time I couldn't lose weight and felt exhausted, it was because I was staring down the possibility of ovarian cancer square in the face.

I'm pretty sure this time, it's different. I have to remember that I'm still acclimating to Washington living. Mainly, the lack of sunshine I get - and the fact that it stays light out until about 9pm. My internal clock isn't ready to go do bed until it's been dark for a few hours. So my body isn't used to this and yes, SAD is a real thing. So I've upped by vitamin D and I'm doing better day by day. Also, working out on a daily basis really helps me sleep better.

But remembering where I've come from is the biggest help. This time last year, I was working out and unable to audition for any shows due to my medical status. The Cast of Rasputin, A Very Very Very Dark Comedy helped me stumble through the first few months of tests and waiting. I was VERY driven to work out and enjoyed life to the fullest every day, just in case I got the "5 year expiration date" that nearly 85% of Ovarian Cancer patients get. I remember counting down the days until surgery.  It was to be in July... My Sailor, family, and friends encouraged me or distracted me often. Boxer babe and I leaned on each other as we stumbled through life with nights at the jacuzzi, dinners and lunches

Well, now, I'm living in a different state and "lefty" (my one remaining ovary) and I are doing just fine. Yes, I've put on about 10 lbs from when I was going into surgery, but I'm sure they'll fall off. My attainable goal is to be in the 190's when my parents come out to visit this August. Completely attainable since that's about 11 lbs away and I have about 6 weeks to meet it.


  1. J I think you are an amazingly strong woman. To face the possibility of cancer, to take charge of your own health, and to have a surgery that you needed.... that all takes courage. And a lot of it. People are scared of going under the knife, of cancer, of the inevitable. I think even if you are 10 lbs heavier, you are still so much stronger than you realize. To come out of it on the other side is nothing short of amazing.

    Don't forget your past struggles. Use them to fuel you on. :)

  2. Thanks!
    It's amazing what we'll do when we women grow through - and what surprises life has in store.