Apartment Anxiety?

This morning, through some measure of persistance, I was able to get approval for one of the apartments I've been looking at.

The excitement I expected to feel, well, I don't.

So now I'm wondering, "Why?"

In sorting through all these thoughts, I thought I'd blog about it. I'm sure some of you dear readers (ye brave, ye few) have been there done that.

Here's my moving background.
Until 2006, I was a bit of a nomad. I would move in to a place, and unpack to a degree, but I never allowed myself to get too attached to any one place. "Home" for me has always been something I've found in the love of those around me, not in a specific location.

When I moved into my little lake house, I unpacked more than I ever have. It became "home". I threw parties and hosted overnighters. I didn't have neighbors sharing walls we with. I have a little yard... it felt like, well, home. A perfect place for a couple to start their lives together - even though I've been in the unmarried crowd since I moved in.

So all that said - let's talk about the state of things at that house.
Since it was built in the 1930's, it's an older house and has many "older house in the country" problems. I've had termites, rats, possums living in my roof, and ants. I'm in "fire country" so the Witch Creek fires in 2007 only missed my house by 9 feet. I can't seem to keep up with the yard work on the regular either. A few other things have just been due to age - like dry rot in the roof (which has since been patched), dry rot on the porch by the back shed (so rotten you'll fall through if you walk on it) and a broken fence. I also lack heating (other than a small iron wood-burning stove) and air conditioning, and live in an area that gets below 32 in the winter at night, at above 1oo in the summer time.

My landlord is entering her 90's. She's very sweet, but on a limited income and is unable to keep the property up. I also, admittedly, haven't made much of fuss about it...

Anyway - all that said, you'd wonder why I'd want to live there.

Well, a picture is worth a thousand words, so here are some...

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com