Wednesday, June 24, 2009

What happened?!

There must be something in the water.

So many of my friends are losing loved ones to death, break-ups, and divorce right now. It makes me wonder "What happened?"

What happened to growing old with someone?
What happened to going out of your way to show someone you love them, just because you want to?
What happened to truely sharing your heart with someone?
When did all that go out of fashion?
When did high walls and defensiveness take the place of compassion and understanding?

I do understand that sometimes things end, and it truly is for the best. When there is an unrecognized addiction, unwillingness to change or listen to a loved ones heart, or other unmanagable circumstance...

But what ever happened to the art of mutual compromise? More often than not, I see one person putting in all the effort and getting steamrolled by their partner when they express an unfulfilled need in return. Though no one person can fill every need, every long term relationship takes work. Marriage takes the most work - but it only works if both partners realize that change is inevitable, growth is necessary, and quitting is not an option. Relationships are not "power plays" to see who has the most or who can control who. They are a mutual meeting of minds and hearts.

But when I get most discouraged, I turn to music. As many songs as there are about broken hearts and love gone bad, there are a thousand more seeking to express what I think everyone wants to find in a life partner.

One of those songs is coupled below with one of Disney's most intense love stories. (*Disclaimer: Yes, I know it's historically inaccurate. IT'S A CARTOON, not a history lesson.)

With all that in mind - I still refuse to give up hope. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's being stubborn. I refuse to believe that loving someone forever is impossible. I refuse to believe that the next man to offer up his heart to me on the marriage bed - will inevitably shatter it.

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