Monday, March 23, 2009

Weddings - a singular perspective

Wedding Bouquet

Most little girls dream about their wedding. I rarely had any ideas about mine. Oh I loved formal dresses and fairy tales, but I didn't have many designs for my "perfect wedding" or my "perfect husband" as a child. I was much too busy singing, writing poetry, playing sports - ya know, living life. I wasn't too caught up in being an adult.

But like any other girl, I will admit that I am a stone cold romantic in just about every sense of the term. Hopelessly, incurably romantic. That's me (and trust me - I TRIED to cure myself of it many times). I'm a sucker for thoughtful and creative gestures. I always dreamed about finding that "one" - the love of my life. Someone who would feel I was the love of his life with equal passion, fervor, and desire to show it. As some have said, "Love is friendship that caught fire."

From my adult perspective, I find I look for that in the every day more and more. And I find it at weddings...

Not all weddings, but those weddings...

If you've never been to a wedding solo, then you can't know what I mean. That's not to be offended to anyone who is married, but when married people attend weddings, they usually think of their own. Since I've been unmarried for some time now, I've attended several weddings. I no longer think of my own. In fact, I don't think of myself at all... I think of the groom.

I can't say I'm one of those "ideal" wedding guests. I don't eat much. I don't over drink. I generally avoid dancing as a rule, and I have yet to DIVE for a bouqet despite the fact that they've been throw pretty much been hurled right at me twice. I won't go so far as to say that these women are trying to tell me something...

But I digress... those weddings...

You can always tell which "those" weddings are... because you look at the groom. Even if I've never met him before, I like to watch him. Not during the ceremony, especially. (And most certainly not because I'm scoping him out.) I like to watch him when his new wife is away from him at the reception. While she's out, giggling with friends and being social, or posing away from him for some photos, and he's watching his bride - that look says it all.

It's usually not subtle. It can't be. If it were subtle, I would wonder if the groom's pride or fear would, at some point, overcome his love. But that kind of love and devotion like that knows no pride and sees no reason to hide - on that day of all days. The observant viewer need not know the groom well see it. It's a look in his eyes that he is now the happiest man on the planet. Most brides are I've seen are usually bubbly and overjoyed (or over compensating for nerves rather well). Grooms tend to be more reserved. But that new-found security, ripened joy, intoxicating love, and passionate devotion can not be hidden.

It can be a simple backyard ceremony, or a more elaborate, formal affair. The setting doesn't matter. What matters, everything that matters, is right there, in his eyes.

What brought this blog on?
Well, this Saturday I was honored to be the guest at one of those weddings. Yes, I always consider myself honored to be invited into the presence of that kind of love.

So here is a photographic tribute to Electric Smile and Wonder Tanner.
May your life be filled with moments such as like these.


The new Tanner Family

Father daughter dance

Reception setting (the ceremony was held in a local Mormon Temple)

Cake...made by the bride's grandmother (and it tasted AMAZING - as a side note)
Cake again

Cake topper close up (it was made of clay, so the bride and groom can keep it - what a great mantle peice)

A couple of guests having fun -

Thank you to anyone who's ever invited me to their wedding. In the end, at least to this guest, it's not about the venue, the food, the chair covers, the decorations, or the dj. The things I will alway remember can't be reserved with a credit card. They can only be birthed with time, love, tenderness, patience, understanding, acceptance, respect, and hope.

1 comment:

  1. Wow, I really love this post!! Blew me away! I always notice the beauty of the bride, but I also try and look at the groom, too. I love the quote about love being friendship on fire. This is the first time I've heard it, and it's so true.

    My parents are currently separated, and my mom has told me before that one of the reasons for their marital problems is that they were never "best friends". They were never really friends at all. The fire part is hard to find, but so is the friendship. That is very important...especially in the long run.