The grocery list

I've been asked "What's on your grocery list?" several times lately when people hear that I eat at least 6 times a day, eat healthy, and spend around $20/week on groceries. Oh yeah - and I purchase very very very few prepared foods. Due to my recent medical condition, I stay away from highly processed or hormone laden food. (Betcha didn't know that soy has an artificial estrogen in it that can really screw with women, and increase things like inflammation!) Even when I was married, it was rare that we spent more than $60/week on groceries. In fact, looking back now, I see a lot of areas where we could have saved more, had we taken the time to make more.

So here's my shoppers creed:
Spend money on QUALITY fuels for my body, not just QUANTITIES of food. Since I buy nearly everything fresh, I rarely "stock up".
I use up what I have first. That means if there are still veggies enough to make a salad, I'm not going to buy more.
Become sale savy and brand-name-blind. Ask yourself, "Do you really NEED chicken every week? Or can you do the pork chops that are on sale? What about eggs?"
NEVER EVER EVER shop hungry. Treat yourself to a latte or something while shopping to take your mind off your stomach. It's an investment your wallet and your waistline will thank you for.
Be open to trying new things.
Aim to stay balanced - buy fiber, protien, and greens.
Keep in mind what you are paying for. Often, it's convience. For example, you will get more for your money buying actual APPLES rather than packages of APPLE SLICES.  You're paying extra for LESS apple, and the convience of a bag to throw away instead of a core.
Shop around.
Bring your own bags. Most places in California will credit you $.05 each time you use your own back. Those nickles add up.
So, today was grocery day. Here's how it usually works:

Step 1:
Take stock of what you've got.

Step 2:
Decide on what you NEED. Not what you want. Not what you might need. Decide on what you NEED. What is a staple you can't go 2 days without? Buy that.

Step 3:
Know your local stores.Today I went to Trader Joe's, Henry's, and Target. Notice NO major chains are on this list. This is often the case. Sometimes they have good deals, but I find that often times smaller markets have better, less expensive fresh foods. I use places like Target for dry goods that Target usually buys in such a bulk that I save money going with them.Here was my list:
Luna bars (?)  - These make a great pre work out meal, BUT they can be more than I want to spend, so this was an "if they are available for a decent price and I feel I'd like them" item. NOT a staple. Often, I skip this item.
Fruit - This means I'm looking for a snack. Rule of thumb - must be under $1/lb. I find what IS on sale (sometimes it's several things) and go with that. Many times I've discovered new types of apples that I adore!
Cereal - This I am particular on. I've found that a tasty, crunchy, fiber filled cereal must also have protien to last me through the morning. I also have had problems with binging on sweet cereals or extra light cereals in the past. Yes, Rice Krispies may be cheaper, but they aren't filling, so I eat more of them adding not only useless fuel to my body, but end up spending more on my groceries since it takes several boxes to even come close to this particular cereal.
Crumpets - Love love love these little puppies. They are filling, tastey, low-cal treats - and usually under $3 a pack.
Eggs - This is on the list as a place holder for "inexpensive protien source". Eggs usually take the cake here, as long as they are under $2/dozen.
Frozen Veggies - I was considering these for a possible stir-fry w/ the tofu I have already in the fridge from last week's grocery run.

Here's what I got:

9.23 lb seedless Watermelon ($1.00/5lbs = $1.85) Henry's
1 package Crumpets ($2.49) Henry's
1 dozen large eggs ($1.19) Henry's
2.13 lb Boy Choy ($1.68) Henry's (I opted for this instead of frozen veggies. It gave me something different and versatile w/o making me adding 1 more stop to my grocery run. It was definately cheaper than the frozen veggies too.)
4 different flavors of non-fat greek yogurt (4/$5) Henry's
5 different flavors of Luna bars ($5.94) Trader Joe's (A box of 6 bars costs this price at Target, however they are all the same flavor. This was a treat purchase, so I opted to pay the extra few pennies to add some variety)
16 oz package of store brand frozen turkey meatballs ($2.69) Trader Joe's
16 oz jar of Peter Pan Crunchy Peanut butter ($1.89) Target (Low in sugar and cost, high in protien)
1 box Kashi Heart to Heart Cereal ($2.89) Target
DISCOUNTS: $.10 for use of my own bags.GRAND TOTAL OF THIS WEEK'S GROCERY RUN: $25.52Many of these things will last me well over a week. The peanut butter is to replace the one I am almost out of. Pair this with any veggie or apple and you've got a healthy snack.

So ladies and gents - that's how it goes!

Take a deep breath and...

As most of you readers know, my medical journey has taken up most of my thoughts in my free time for the past couple months.

Well, it’s finally happening.

Surgery is scheduled for 7/12.

Yes, I’m hopeful that everything will turn out okay once they biopsy the hell outta this nasty ovary and figure out what’s going on.
I already know I don’t have to worry about Endometrial cancer. That’s a relief! One down, one to go!

Yes, I’m nervous. I’ve never had ANY sort of major surgery before. A few minor procedures, but that’s about it. So this will be a new experience for me.

It is a light at the end of the tunnel, which is the positive I’m working on focusing on right now (over the stomach-roiling-anxiety any major surgery brings). It’s a laparoscopic procedure, but it will most likely result in removal of my right ovary (oopherectomy), though I asked him to see if he can just remove the cyst and growth instead IF possible. At least it’s not a radical hysterectomy!

 

Doing for others what we should do for ourselves...

I haven’t updated this blog in a while, so here’s a brief run down of the latest:

I am now officially working from home. Yeah! It’s a bit isolating, but I love saving money on commuting! My budget is still tighter than I’d like, but it’s progress! I will really see a difference in about a month.

On the medical front – my Endometrial Biopsy came back completely normal. Yeah! Now I’m just awaiting surgery scheduling. I put in a call to the scheduler, so hopefully I’ll have a date set by the end of the week.

On the other fronts -
  I had an interesting discussion with my parents recently. We talked about my lack of long term goals. Sure, I’ve always been a big dreamer, but things like worry and every-day-concerns have a way of building up and robbing us of those big aspirations sometimes. And lately, that’s where I’ve been living.
  Getting the biopsy back normal really helped me put things in a healthier perspective. It reminded me that I don’t have to put my life on hold for this surgery. Odds are that I will live through it just fine (and may even feel better after all this is over).
  But that didn’t remind me why I wasn’t setting goals.
  Well, I have always been a big dreamer/goal setter. And many of those things have become a reality. But I realized that many of those things were what they were because I had someone to share it with.
 For example: How many times have to done something that was really good for your spirit, because you were enabling someone else’s dream? My personal example is the Disney California Adventure Danskin Women’s Triathlon I did. I NEVER would have considered doing it myself. I did it because my friendship to Bonnie more or less demanded it of me. And it changed my life. I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world. Now I train for all sorts of events, and I see the deep spiritual value in becoming in tune with your body. I don’t doubt I never would have had that experience if a good friend hadn’t come up to me and said, “Will you do this with me?” During that race, I found a confidence I didn’t think I had. Even today when things feel tough, I’m reminded, “You’ve done TWO freakin’ TRIATHLONS! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING!” I’m better for the experience.
  But after a few strong disappointments, I realized that others I cared deeply for don’t work in that same “go get ‘em” mind frame. They have been disappointed so strongly and so regularly though life that they truly believe it’s better to live without expecting anything of themselves or anyone else. Afterall, isn’t it better to be pleasantly surprised than brutally disappointed?
 

  After this discussion with my folks, I realized that I had bought and internalized that mindset more than I thought myself. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of disappoints. I could list them out here – but that seems self defeating. If you’ve read my blog or know me personally, I’m sure you’re aware of what they have been through my life. So here’s the conclusion I came to after mulling over the words of some of the wisest people I know:

It’s OKAY to expect things of yourselves and others.  Yes, you’ll get disappointed, but if you don’t risk it, you’ll never know.
Build a plan and work your plan. Make it realistic and doable. You can’t account for everything, but you can have a plan in pencil.
Get support and accountability!  If you’re married, you probably already have this built into your life. I know it’s an aspect of partnership that I was better for, and look forward to sharing again with someone someday.
TRUST YOURSELF. Just like my body knew it could finish that triathlon, but my mind doubted it during each event – if God really has something I’ve banked on in my plan, than it’ll work out. If not, then the journey will have been part of my ultimate path anyway and I can learn from it. What’s the WORST case scenario? I learn something I didn’t know before. That sounds like a Win Win to me!

So my goals aren’t “get through surgery”. They are grander, yet doable things. Most of which require some changes in my lifestyle.
But change isn’t a bad thing.

Endometrial Biopsy - the audio drama

Today I went in for an endometrial biopsy. 

My specific medical journey of late has shown me just how far Women’s Medicine has come – but it’s also made it glaringly obvious that we’re still not far from the Dark Ages.

One of those things is that everyone handles pain differently – male or female. Pain is different for everyone. Some people scream. Some people cry. Some people cry AND scream. Some people get quiet and breathe shallow (me). Others get angry and cuss.

Well today, I underwent an office procedure called an Endometrial Biopsy. To spare you the gorey details, I’ll share these few bullet points:
*There is NO anesthetic given. This is a procedure that takes no more than a few minutes, and sticking a long needle up your hoo-ha to get poked in and have drugs injected into those sensative places would probably be more painful than the quick “snip snip” of the biopsy.*Think pap-smear. But instead of taking a small brushing or swabbing, they clip bits of tissue from the same area.* Usually there is already some sort of discomfort in this area in order for a woman to necessitate this procedure anyway. (I fell into this category.)

So, if you had been listening at the door, here’s what you would have heard going on inside (from what I can recall – funny how the female brain blocks out painful experiences in no time):
Doc: “Just like a pap smear…”
Me: “okay…”
RN friend of mine: “Going anywhere fun on vacation this summer?”
Me: “Well, I might end up spending a weekend in Chicago, depending on how things go here.”
RN friend of mine: “Cool. Any special reason?”
Me: “Yeah. A friend of mine is graduating from Navy Boot Camp. He’s worked really hard to get in, so it’s totally worth supporting.”
RN friend of mine: “Southwest has good flights right now. Do they fly there?”
Me: “Yeah, close anyway. I might get some frequent flier miles hook up from my dad, but…”
Doc: “Okay, you might feel a little pinch here.”
Me: “Okay. We’ll see what he can do about getting me some free…You ain’t kidding! Pinch?!”
Doc and RN: “Yeah. You might feel some cramping...”
Me: “OW OW OW OW OW… Holy cow!”
Doc: “You can cuss me out if you need to. Go ahead. I know it hurts. “
RN: “Yeah, go ahead. You can Cuss if you need to. It’s okay.”
Me: “OW OW OW OW OW….” (at this point, breakfast was threatening to be blown all over my RN friend)
Doc: “Okay done with that.”
Me: (starting to breath a sign of relief) “Whew….”
Doc: “Now just one more…”
Me: (under my breath) “You’ve got to be kidding me…” (Cue huge deep yoga breath here)
Doc: (a few quiet moments later) “Alright done. Time to close that up…”
Me: “….okay…” (weakly)
Doc and RN: “Now, we want you to rest for a while. Don’t get up right away, okay. DON’T GET UP!

I’m glad they warned me not to get up. I don’t think my knees and legs would have cooperated, though I couldn’t WAIT to get outta there.

You gotta wonder how many of the expecting mothers-to-be in the waiting room would have canceled their appointments and left if I HAD taken him up on his offer to use very… “un-Disney-like” language!

So we’ll see what happens in the next couple weeks, but odds are in my favor that this will turn out negative for Endometrial Cancer.

Here’s a funny thing though – I’m really irritated that I can’t think of a way to safely work out tonight! I'm still a little loopy in the brain - which is a decidedly odd feeling since all I've had are over-the-counter pain controllers.

Does it make me a real athlete now that I'm irritated that I can't blow off steam in any of my usual fashions (P90X, running w/ the dog, etc.)?
And is being a real athlete anything like being a real boy (girl)?

Photo Source

Doctors doctors and more doctors

 

I work with doctors. They have a lot of my respect for their extended education and their often-selfless choice of occupation. However – in the end they are just people, and as capable as a mistake as an filing clerk.

All that said, I’m a pretty well informed patient. I do my own research and I work in the medical field, so I have at least a basic knowledge of how these things work. This either drives physicians nuts (like those that believe MD is actually greek for God), or it makes me a valuable player on “Team Heal-Me”. I’ve run into both types of MDs in this process of working through my own illnesses. I’ve found an MD that I trust and can now unload some of the gorier details for ya’ll.

Basically, my right ovary is about 5cm in diameter. From the imaging, we can tell that 4.6 cm of that is covered with something nasty. There is both a simple cyst and a mass there. So that leaves about .4cm of possibly functioning organ. Those aren’t good odds. So here’s the plan: While he’s going to try and remove just the growths, there is a very good chance he’ll just take the whole thing. At this point, it may be a safe, operating assumption that the whole thing has just become one nasty mess with little to no functioning ovary left to speak of. So we’ll be scheduling a laprascopic procedure for that within the next 2-3 weeks. Expected recovery time is about 1 week. That doesn’t mean I’ll be back up to full speed in 1 week, but I should be walking comfortably after that (which means, ½ marathon training, here I come!). Though the left one is also covered with cysts, we’re leaving that alone. Some of those maybe normal (for me anyway), and there’s no reason to throw myself into menopause right now.

Also, due to some bleeding issues I’ve been having, and some consistant pain/tenderness, I’m scheduled for an endometrial bx prior to that (June 2^nd). This is a simple outpatient procedure that doesn’t have any more of a recovery period than a really uncomfortable pap smear.


So, a reminder to all you folks out there in the blogsphere: ASK QUESTIONS, and DON’T BE AFRAID TO GET A 2^ND OPINION! If it weren’t for that, I’d still be in the “watch and wait” mode. We have some wonderful tools at understanding our health care decisions at our finger tips. USE THEM! Be educated and don’t be afraid to SPEAK UP if something doesn’t feel right. Be persistant. YOU KNOW YOUR BODY BETTER THAN ANYONE.

So, all that said, I’ll get off my soap box now and share some good news:

By the time all this really goes down, I should be transitioned to work from home FULL TIME! This will be a dream come true for me, and my company won’t miss out on my services all the time. Yes, it means I’ve had to slow my roll in the demanding world of theater, but I’ve met some wonderful people and have a great support mechanism out there.

Working from home will be a great boon in other ways as well. It may offer a solid income, flexibility in hours to persue my other dreams, and unbind me from my current location, should I decide to pick up and move when this lease expires.

Yes, every once in a while I get down and my inner child throws a minor “Why Me?!” pity party. But ya know what? It could always be a LOT worse, so I’m grateful that (right now) it isn’t. I also understand that there is a timing to everything in life. I have to understand that I am going into this when I’m supposed to, the way I’m supposed to. I have to believe there is some larger plan to all of this, even if that plan is to just share my story so someone else going through this won’t feel alone and ashamed. (Yes, I said “ashamed”. Though I understand I’ve done nothing to bring this upon myself, I have an intimate understanding of all the reasons why women feel ashamed when their body doesn’t cooperate in one of the unique things that a woman’s body is ‘supposed’ to be able to do. Afterall, 15 year old crack whores get pregnant without trying. There are also a lot of symptoms that go along with hormone related problems that can be very “dewomanizing” as well- and the American General Public does not judge these things lightly.)


So that’s the latest.

Please sign up to follow my more updated blog www.roastedbearmeat.blogspot.com too! (This one has contests and is far more entertaining than my moaning and groaning here.)

Where Imagination Meets Organization

Quote of the Blog: “First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.”
Napoleon Hill

 

 

Maybe it’s spring.

Maybe it’s the move.

Or maybe – just maybe – I’m getting out of my own way – FINALLY.

But for the first time in I can’t remember when, I’ve begun living a more organized lifestyle on the regular.
Don’t get me wrong-  it’s still not “white glove” clean, but it’s not filled with dust bunnies either. I still have laundry to do and am still occasionally late for things, but I really feel like I’m getting my life together finally.

Moving has definitely played a strong role in this. Since I’ve downsized, I’ve found that things feel cluttered more easily, so I take care of the clutter more immediately than I did before. I’m learning that I not only enjoy that stress-free atmosphere when I’m at home – I need it! With my job (which requires me to deal with both disgruntled physicians and the government, on both Federal and State levels nationwide) I need that space to just be down time. It gives me the time and space to complete my “to do” list at home. I feel as though I am far less tolerant of my own excuses for not doing what I should.

 

Now, when I start working from home, it’ll be vital to keep things organized AND have “work space” and “home space”. My work space will be in my bedroom which is fairly small as it is. However, I have the capability to close up my computer cabinet and put it physically “out of sight”.

Also, working from home will be great for my health. I’ll be able to take a break and hit the pool or the on-property gym, or take Clydas for a quick jog around the block. I can do my laundry and my coding at the same time, and then have my evenings free for theater, Disney, or whatever tickles my fancy.

I have NO doctor’s appointments, lab pokes, or other tests this week, which feels great! I feel as though I can truly put those concerns on the back burner of my mind for the moment. Afterall, they are what they are and stressing out only makes such conditions worse.

I’m also finding that I’m on my feet more and on the couch less. This feels awesome. It’s a combo of both keeping up with the house chores and adding in P90X work outs to my every day. I’m off Medifast pretty much completely at this point (due to the diet being soy protein based and I’m limiting my soy given the current medical hiccups). I still plan on using a whey protein supplement for post work outs and a protein bar for a meal replacement. I now use Vanilla flavored, unsweetened Almond milk (when I do use milk). At 40 calories/cup, you can’t beat it! It’s also got a great hint of nuttiness.

That goes just fine by me – afterall, I’m a bit nutty myself! I’m reminded constantly that the only limits we truly have are those we put on ourselves.

A long overdue update

To take you, dear readers, on the roller coaster of emotions that I’ve been on lately would be unfair. But to be any less honest seems equally unfair, so here it is:

Medical stuff:
No answers yet, which is sufficiently irritating. Unfortunately, things like this can’t be rushed. Monday I went to the specialist that my amazing doctor recommended…. And it was a complete waste of time. After spending over 30 minutes waiting, I spent my remainder 10-15 minutes with the doctor convincing him to help me. Which resulted in him ordering more imaging and believing surgery to be unnecessary at this point. Um… okay… than why would my other (who’s known me for years, understands my conditions, and who has earned my trust) MD recommend me to you FOR SURGERY?
So I’m heading to yet another specialist in 2 weeks for a tie breaker opinion.  All of this reminds me that they are only “practicing medicine”. They haven’t gotten it nailed down quite yet. I won’t lie. The waiting isn’t easy. But there is nothing I can do but keep myself distracted and just live my life.

Hobbies and stuff:
Rasputin hadn’t even been closed for a full 7 days by the time I got to Tempe and competed in the 2010 SheRox triathlon. The heat and dehydration got the best of me through most of the race, but I’m so glad I did it. I got to share in Sistah’Girl’s first triathlon ever. And it lit a flame. She may be known as TriGirl someday, but for now, I like Sistah’Girl. It still fits. (BTW – she beat me by a minute! Way to go Sistah’ Girl!)
Sistah’Girl and I started a new blog. Check us out. We update a LOT more often than I update this one. I’ve been really tired lately and have really had to figure out where to focus my energy.

Work Stuff:
This month I’ll be transitioning to work from home! Yeah! I can’t wait.

Roommate stuff:
Still just a few nibbles on this front, but I’m still hopeful!

More later, but that’s it for now!