Thursday, May 10, 2012

The Changes in Friendship

Today I read a post by Ever Clever Mom that talked about how her friendships in life have significantly changed now that she's a mom.  It really struck a cord with me as I make the necessary cuts from the wedding invitation list. And it came with a little sadness.

With all of my recent changes in circumstances (buying a house, moving to WA from CA only a year away, throwing a wedding) it's really changed my view on friendship.

From the outside looking in, I'm pretty blessed. I have a good job in a field that allows me to work from home. We just bought a house and are making it ours. My Sailor is home for the time being, and summer is on it's way. We have made a few friends up here that I look forward to seeing again, and in the mean time, I have the loving support of a small handful of long-time friends.

What people don't understand is that working from home, in a state where you know almost no one, is pretty isolating. There are days the only other human face I see is My Sailor's. So a call from a friend or family member really brightens my day.

And the phone doesn't work one way. I get the same smile when a friend answers the phone when I call.

In fact, just yesterday I got a phone call from an old friend. Even though it was a bit awkward (people, myself included, don't really know what to say about my dad's condition), it felt wonderful that he made the effort. (And before anyone gets any ideas, he's married with 2 kids, and very happy.) 

Yet, many people I felt were like family to me, haven't returned my calls, or checked-in to see how I'm doing.

Like they say - some people are in your life for a reason, a season, and some are here to stay.

Our wedding invitation list is made up largely of family. In fact, it's almost entirely made up of family. We've realized just how much relocating has changed our relationships with folks. People who once felt like close friends have slipped out of touch, but others have really stepped up to the plate to help us plan the wedding and to help support us with their thoughts, prayers, and well wishes as we stumbled through this phase of our lives.

It's funny how eternally grateful I've become towards those who have truly 'been there' even though they can't physically 'be there'. When I think of how my relationship changed with friends, I've seen 'sisters' grow up and get married, have kids of their own - and I've had my own inward struggles on how I could adjust my swingin'-single-divorcee-life to include these changes. And ya know, it was worth it to face those struggles. Instead of just being a friend to go to the movies with, I've actually been lucky enough to feel like a part of those families.

Fully aware that people get crazy around weddings. No matter what direction we go in, someone will be offended, but it is what it is.

It's just crazy, and a little sad, how things sometimes change.

1 comment:

  1. Change is life - it isn't always easy, but it helps to define us and our actions. You know who your friends are, you know who you can count on and that is the important part. Just remember you are blessed with those that support you and are there for you.