Another Sunday Behind the Desk

Like I said in my previous post, my work has offered me as much overtime as I can handle. So while My Sailor is On Duty (aka, on a 24+ hr shift on the Submarine), I'm working. I spent the morning being lazy and enjoying a store bought breakfast of danishes and Kombucha. (If you haven't had Kombucha, you're seriously missing out! I'll be making my own soon!)

I've talked to pretty much my entire family so they know what's going on. My Sailor and I haven't really talked about what we're going to do about it all yet, but, as Kim Possible would say, "Here's the Sitch."

My MRI found the following 

• Mildly enlarged uterus  - Could be caused by the next finding, or a hormone imbalance. Usually treated by "wait and see", followed by hysterectomy if it grows too much. (I still have a LONG way to go before that would be recommended.)
• Uterine Fibriod - These are bengin tumors of the uterine muscle. This will grow. They really don't know what causes them. Could be genetic (which would make sense as infertility runs in my maternal biological side) or it could be a response to an injury (like surgery 2 years ago). Being on "the pill" is suppose to stop or help minimize the growth of these. (More on that later)
• 2cm Hemmorhagic cyst on ovary - Allow me to recap. In 2010, I had my Right ovary removed because, well, it actually was more cyst and tumor than functioning organ. At that point, lefty was in great shape. Well, it seems that lefty misses righty and is having some of the same problems righty has. So, currently, 1/2 of ovary is a blood filled cyst. (I would say "covered in a blood filled cysts", but knowing my body pretty well, I think it's safe to say it's integrated into my anatomy.) 'The Pill' is the only thing known to shrink these prior to a) surgery, or b) rupture. And let's just throw out there that 'b' is debilitatingly painful AND likely to spread endometriosis, if it's already present - no way to know that until 'a' happens.
• 2 cm Fluid filled cyst on ovary - While these kids of cysts are more 'normal' this is still big for where it should be in my cycle. So I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that it's probably the same process that righty had, just at an earlier stage in the game.

There is a lot we can't know w/o some form of surgery, but the good news is, as long as I can endure some discomfort, we don't have to do anything right now.

Here's the math.

As we've establighed before, Ovaries are about 4cm in size. Doing the math on the above cyst, and there you go. It's pretty much covered in cysts.

The following conditions reduce the chance of pregnancy significantly -
Age - Women are born with all the eggs they will ever have. After 30, fertility starts to decrease. I'll 33 in a little over 6 months, and have only 1 ovary left - meaning less eggs in general. That one ovary works overtime.
Fibriods - Generally, decrease fertility in normally healthy women by 70%. Add that to the "age" marker.
 Cysts -  The medical juries are mixed on this one. Some say it's no problem. Others say it is a problem.  While I'm not sure if it is  a problem as far as that is concerned, it is  a problem for me as the fatigue leaves me exhausted most days, no matter how much sleep/rest I get.

  Endometriosis - Since I've had this before, I think it's safe to say it's back, though we can't know for certain without surgery. There is no clear percentage on how this effects pregnancy, but it's a common finding in infertile women.

That's just the fertility side - which is only PART of the equation.

If I have one major fear when it comes to all of this it is this: I remember very well what it was like to be 'sick' with this stuff. Cramping that resulted in nausea and vomitting on a fairly regular basis. Exhaustion no matter how much sleep is gotten. Being in a haze 85% of the time and mood swings I'm barely in control of. I'm tired of being sick. I've gotten so much better over the years, I'm done making myself sick over it.

In some ways, that attitude has been very refreshing. I'm not as traumatized as some women I know in a similiar situation, because I've had so much time to deal with it, understand it, and know that there is so much about women's medicine that is simply still a mystery. In so many ways, we're still in the dark-ages when it comes to true healing.

In my case, 'having a baby' has never been my goal. Knowing how well my family (who is not genetically related at all) get along has confirmed for me that there are tons of different ways to have a family. Pregnancy is just one route.

My goal is now as it has always been - feeling better. I can't care for those I love well until I care for myself.

So if there is anyone out there being brushed off by their OBGYN, or 'putting off' making that appointment -  but experiencing VERY REAL symptoms - BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE. Educate yourself and trust that YOU know YOUR body better than ANYONE else. Get your answers. It's worth it to feel better.