So tomorrow is My Sailor's birthday and I was working hard to make plans, until he reminded me... That's the night of his Fantasy Football draft. Well, since it's his birthday - he calls the shots! So Fantasy Football Night it is! Normally, I'd try to plan a nice dress-up-and-paint-the-town kind of birthday, but I guess that takes the pressure off of that. In fact, I offered to bake him a cake, but he said he likes pie for birthdays instead. So I think I'm going to grab an awesome pie at some point tomorrow so that's set up at least.
And his birthday present is here, ready and waiting for him. Just have to wrap it and sign the card!
I guess I should be grateful that he's content with such a simple celebration, but I get the feeling that he just doesn't "feel" like a celebration right now. We don't have many friends out here just yet, so it's awkward to invite people you're just getting to know to a small birthday party, but I'm sure we'll find a bigger way to celebrate this weekend. Hopefully he'll get Labor day off so we can get away and have some fun.
The impending deployment lingers in the shadows, but most days it doesn't bother us at all. Some days it's easy to forget about it. Some days, it's not. One night in particular, he was tired and I was frustrated, and Clydas needed a walk. So I took Clydas for a walk, quietly fumed while at the same time trying to talk sense into myself. When I returned, I opened the door to find the lights dimmed, a candle burning, the dishes done, and soft instrumental Disney music playing and a little wine on the table. It's pretty hard to still be annoyed after coming home to that! After getting in my pj's we enjoyed the wine and just snuggled for a while when it hit me a little. It was as if all of a sudden I didn't want him to leave, even though it's months away still...But this is how I expected it to happen, a few tears at a time until he actually leaves. I'm not complaining - don't get me wrong. I know it will probably be equally as hard on him. Yes, we've been friends long distance forever, but intimacy doesn't come easily for me, so it'll be difficult to be apart (with the possibility of zero contact) for so long. But being sad that he's leaving is different than being "anxious" or "afraid". I have zero fear for us as a couple in being able to get through the many adjustments that are ahead. Focusing on staying patient with ourselves and going easy on each other is terribly helpful - so far, it's something we're pretty good at.
Most days, we are just fine, but I find I miss him more when he has duty and the weekends seem shorter and shorter. As much as I love performing, I only have so much time, so I'm taking a short break from theater to get the most out of the next months with My Sailor - but on the other side of the coin, I've joined a Women's Volleyball Team! We start up in late September, so I'm hoping My Sailor will get to come to game or two (and I hope I get my old overhand ace serve back!)
Anyway - We're trying to figure out what we're going to do with the lease here. If our upstairs neighbors move out, we could live here for another 6-9months. It would give us an inexpensive place to lay our heads while we save up to buy a house. OR we could rent a larger, more comfortable place - but it would mean moving while he's gone, or paying rent at 2 places for an extra month. OR we could try to get a larger unit here (but for the same price, we could rent a house, so renting a house sounds so much better...) which would mean either paying an extra $200 to transfer to a different unit... So there are lots of options, and I know we'd LOVE to buy - we'd just have to prioritize next year. I have a feeling we'd spend a lot less on going out if we loved where we live. Not to mention I'm sure I'd sleep and work better without all the constant banging around upstairs.
It's off to bed for me. It's almost midnight and I will need to get up early to get all my work done and to get things ready for tomorrow!
And his birthday present is here, ready and waiting for him. Just have to wrap it and sign the card!
I guess I should be grateful that he's content with such a simple celebration, but I get the feeling that he just doesn't "feel" like a celebration right now. We don't have many friends out here just yet, so it's awkward to invite people you're just getting to know to a small birthday party, but I'm sure we'll find a bigger way to celebrate this weekend. Hopefully he'll get Labor day off so we can get away and have some fun.
The impending deployment lingers in the shadows, but most days it doesn't bother us at all. Some days it's easy to forget about it. Some days, it's not. One night in particular, he was tired and I was frustrated, and Clydas needed a walk. So I took Clydas for a walk, quietly fumed while at the same time trying to talk sense into myself. When I returned, I opened the door to find the lights dimmed, a candle burning, the dishes done, and soft instrumental Disney music playing and a little wine on the table. It's pretty hard to still be annoyed after coming home to that! After getting in my pj's we enjoyed the wine and just snuggled for a while when it hit me a little. It was as if all of a sudden I didn't want him to leave, even though it's months away still...But this is how I expected it to happen, a few tears at a time until he actually leaves. I'm not complaining - don't get me wrong. I know it will probably be equally as hard on him. Yes, we've been friends long distance forever, but intimacy doesn't come easily for me, so it'll be difficult to be apart (with the possibility of zero contact) for so long. But being sad that he's leaving is different than being "anxious" or "afraid". I have zero fear for us as a couple in being able to get through the many adjustments that are ahead. Focusing on staying patient with ourselves and going easy on each other is terribly helpful - so far, it's something we're pretty good at.
Most days, we are just fine, but I find I miss him more when he has duty and the weekends seem shorter and shorter. As much as I love performing, I only have so much time, so I'm taking a short break from theater to get the most out of the next months with My Sailor - but on the other side of the coin, I've joined a Women's Volleyball Team! We start up in late September, so I'm hoping My Sailor will get to come to game or two (and I hope I get my old overhand ace serve back!)
Anyway - We're trying to figure out what we're going to do with the lease here. If our upstairs neighbors move out, we could live here for another 6-9months. It would give us an inexpensive place to lay our heads while we save up to buy a house. OR we could rent a larger, more comfortable place - but it would mean moving while he's gone, or paying rent at 2 places for an extra month. OR we could try to get a larger unit here (but for the same price, we could rent a house, so renting a house sounds so much better...) which would mean either paying an extra $200 to transfer to a different unit... So there are lots of options, and I know we'd LOVE to buy - we'd just have to prioritize next year. I have a feeling we'd spend a lot less on going out if we loved where we live. Not to mention I'm sure I'd sleep and work better without all the constant banging around upstairs.
It's off to bed for me. It's almost midnight and I will need to get up early to get all my work done and to get things ready for tomorrow!
Posts
Lots of things to think about it seems. Just enjoy your time together and be glad that at least there's technology to allow you to communicate long distance.
ReplyDeleteHope your Sailor has a great birthday!
Don't I wish! Saddly, the closest we can get to communicating long distance is something sort of like email - only no attachments and it's screened (read) before they get it. And they warned us that it'll probably feel like one way communication, since the sailors might not be able to reply. BUT I am sending him with a packet of letters he can open when he's having an especially rough day.
ReplyDeleteBut no packages. No mail, etc. It's tough to get mail to a submarine! lol
ReplyDelete