While watching Biggest Loser last night, I realized that one of the women is suffering from something I can very much relate to.
She'd get right up to the point of a real breakthrough, start to feel overwhelmed, and quit. This has haunted me all my life (though not to the extreme degree of this woman, causing her to tip the scales at well over 300 lbs). Seeing her struggle with it actually helped me big time. My jaw dropped as I realized I do something similiar. I'm famous for setting goals, and then getting side tracked into something else. While detours are part of the journey of life, I will admit I could benefit from taking a few less of them. I see how they've affected my overall wellness, as well as damaged my motivation for real, lasting change in some areas.
That said, I got to wondering what causes us to do this? I don't buy the "ADD" stuff. 99% of the time it's a lack of discipline.
It got me thinking about the friends that have made a special impact in my life over the past few years.
When I was at my lowest, they all believed in me. Some of them did it in a more silent fashion - and some in a more active fashion, but these people truly believe in me during times in my life when I was constantly questioning my own strength and worth.
If it weren't for the people who believed in my abilities as an athlete (BonBon), as an actress (CandyMan), as a singer (Mud), as a woman strong enough to stare down the barrel of her worst fear and survive to share the tale (Sistah'Girl), I have no idea who I would be today. To be completely honest, I have had some days (especially in 2006) where the only thing that got me out of bed and kept me going was the fact that my dog needed me, or I couldn't let down the cast of the show I was in by not showing up and giving my all (While that sounds funny, saddly, it's very true).
You often find this quality in healthy married couples as well. They are so invested in one another's success in life, that they don't give up on each other. And if they love each other, sometimes that's enough for one partner to pull through the cloud of uncertainty. (Being Carly had a great blog that reminded me of this!)
I wonder if the fine line between that Biggest Loser contestant and me is that I've had people in my life that have loved me enough to believe in me, even when I was my own worst enemy. Instead of kicking me when I'm down, or walking away when I needed to get my act together, these people believed in me and lifted me up - often without even realizing how low I truely felt.
They did it without having to try, because frankly, that's what love does.
Revelation of the week: Sometimes in the unselfish act of following through so we don't let someone down, we find that the person we really didn't want to dissappoint was staring back in the mirror all along.
No more quitting.