Some Photos for Thought

Happy Valentine's Day folks!

Since My Sailor and I aren't really celebrating V day this year, I've been thinking of ways to do something special this year.

Inspired by an anniversary photos shoot featured on The Disney Wedding Blog I thought that maybe, just maybe we deserve a professional photo session! While I'm getting pretty darn good at tweaking photos, it would be nice if most of them weren't taken at arms length, or by a friend. A pro could have some really great ideas.

Now the question becomes - should I steal him away for a photos session in Seattle w/ an urban big city feel? Or wait until our trip to Disneyworld in a few weeks? Things that make ya go "hmmm...".

When a Movie Moves You

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Every once in a great while, I'm exposed to a film that reaches out and grabs at something deeper than just my heart strings. It pulls at the fiber of my being. It makes me wonder if some where, deep down -  beyond the Disney fan and the Medical Coder - at the heart of a dreamer is a devout gypsy.

I've never been able the type of person to thrive within stone walls. I lack the patience for conventional education, but I soak up the lessons of experiences of life (my life and others) like a sponge. I find peace in nature, and wordless meaning in the faith, friendship, and in the company of others. But those that know me best usually realize that I'm reserved (yes, even in this blog) when it all comes down to it. Only friends who have known me for decades really get "the whole story", though I do make every effort to be honest in this blog, as in all recordings of this journey that is my life.

The Way  isn't a hard movie to watch. It probably wasn't a hard movie to make either. Shot on location, it follows several backpackers on their journey along The Way of St. James. Focusing on Martin Sheen's character - a doctor from California who came to Europe when he learned his 20'something year old son (a field anthropologist in the making) tragically passes away - the movie follows his emotional and physical journey on The Way, where he meets up with several others from around the world, all traveling for different reasons. Living off the road, small towns they come across on the way, and the kindness of strangers, they make their own pilgrimage across the countries.

Now, I love a hot shower and a comfy bed as much as the next person - maybe even more, but the gypsy in me can't help but acknowledge the true power of being in nature, alone, soaking up all the world has to offer for a few months. It's a beautiful idea and I truly respect those who do that.

So when I pass away - that, dear readers (ye brave, ye few) is how I want to be remembered. Don't go to a grave stone. Don't put me in a box in the ground. Let my passing be a catalyst for growth. Pack up my ashes and spread them along some long ancient foot road...

Just make sure to take me to Disneyland first.

"All Things Considered, I'm taking this Rather well."

Good news and bad news. They always seem to balance each other out, right?

Well, first the good news!

My Sailor's crazy hours appear to be settling down starting next week! Yeah! We'll actually get more than 2 hours awake together per day! Possibly even a day off together that DOESN'T involve sleeping away 60% of the day in the near future! Yeah! I can't wait to get back to mini road trip adventures and all that jazz.

So what's the bad news? 

Though his hours are normalizing - he'll be adding Valentine's Day and another personal holiday to the list of days holidays he's had to work through. He'll be going in around 7am on those days and not returning until the next day.

Sigh.

All things considered though - considering I've just been told in the last 48 hours that our wedding, honeymoon, Valentine's Day, and our own private holiday has been wiped off the calendar, I'm taking it all pretty well. I'm fairly certain most women would have dissolved into tears of disappointment and flop into a bought of hopelessness.

Disappointment?
Oh sure. I can't lie. I may be named after the Bionic Woman, but even she had feelings, and so do I. To some, the answer could be "Just don't throw a wedding" and "Just don't have any expectations". But I don't work that way. Weddings are important - it's important to us to show our family and friends how much their love and support means to us. I expect we'll get to it when we have the time and money. Whatever the season, it'll be fun and beautiful I'm sure. I'm ALWAYS going to dream big, make plans, and do everything I can to set those plans into motion. But I'm also not going to hold it against My Sailor if the Navy decides they need him and causes it to change those plans - or wipe them out completely.

Though the news is still pretty fresh, My Sailor shows no interest in celebrating these holidays sooner or later than the day. Honestly, that DOES kind of suck, but it's also really hard to be interested in ANYTHING at 5am when you're on little sleep, so that might change.



That's Why I Make All My Plans On Things like These -

Everything can be moved, erased, redesigned, and saved for later. (Do you love my Mickey post its? I do! Thanks Pam!)

Too bad he has Saturday off and I don't, but My Sailor just got a new video game, so I'm sure he'll keep himself busy with that and catching up on some much needed rest. In fact, I'm almost jealous. Almost...
I'd probably spend the day getting out and then coming home to some crafting or scrap booking or something a bit more tangible, but that's me.



So what am I doing for Valentine's Day? Most likely working - though I'm probably going to order myself some orchids.

After the week I've had, I deserve something pretty.

But what would really start next week off right would be being down just 1 more pound! I'm so close to being securely in Onderland that I can taste it!

Now, off to errands and the next "half" of my day (which, yes, is starting at 6pm).

My Namesake aka Things are a little scary!

I was named after the Bionic Woman and today is one of those days when I can almost feel her influence.

Today I:

• Woke up at 9am to walk the dog. My Sailor was still sleeping after a 4am shift brought him home late.
• Cooked breakfast. I didn't say made breakfast because, to me, that just involves pouring milk on cereal or water on instant oatmeal. (I attribute so much of my weight loss success to actually making the time to cook breakfast, rather than starting off the day feeling rushed.) Turkey bacon in scrambled egg whites with diced mini peppers, 1/2 a bagel w/ local honey, hot chocolate (swiss miss w/ my own twist- added unsweetened vanilla almond milk and sugar free cinnamon vanilla syrup), and fresh strawberries. Accompanied it all with a small glass of not-from-concentrate OJ. Sound good? That's pretty much an average daily breakfast around the house. (Occasionally I'll resort to making breakfast (instant plain steel cut oats with brown sugar and cinnamon added at the last moment, and a cup of Chobani greek Yogurt, and a peice of fruit), but that's not as common. It's MUCH higher in calorie and not as healthful - more sugar and less fiber.)
• Worked a 12 hour day. (Which is a VERY long time to be staring at books and screens.)
• Walked the dog 4 times.
• Did the MOUNTAIN of laundry that was piling up.
• Did the Dishes.
• Took out the recycling
• Stuck to healthy foods throughout the day.
• Worked out on my lunch/dinner break.
• Wrote this blog
• Brainstormed Valentine's plans

Here it is, 1 am, and I'm considering going to the produce store (which is about an hour and 1/2 adventure) since we're out of fruit and running REALLY low on veggies. But on the off chance I'd pass out in the car, I should probably just stay home, and fold the laundry and put it away so it doesn't sit in the baskets forever.

I'm REALLY good at being busy!

Now on to other things -
  I'm actually really surprised how well I'm taking the 3rd (yes, 3rd) rescheduling of our wedding date. Most women would probably flip out - even one in my position. But I'm not. It'll give us some extra time to save up some more money, and I'll be able to take my time on some projects I was going to do for the wedding anyway. We'll also be able to focus on that new house thing WHICH, for the record, SCARES ME TO DEATH!

See, my experience with purchasing real estate isn't good. In the early 2000's my then-husband and I purchased a condo. I was SO excited to have "our own place", though I do remember being more afraid to buy the place than I was to get married! In hindsight, I should have listened to that fear, but live and learn. Anyway, we bought over-paid for the apartment/condo conversion. It ran us about $260k. My folks gave us money to help w/ closing costs and the real estate agents and the lenders convinced us that we could afford $2200/month. Gulp. Our plan at the time was to turn a profit within 5 years. Well, that would have been impossible. Even if the marriage had lasted another 5 years (it lasted 1 1/2 I think after that purchase), we would NEVER have turned a profit. Turned out they screwed up the electrical and, in the long run, the neighborhood never really turned around the way it had appeared to start. In the end, we agreed to try to short sell it. Didn't work out, so both my ex and I got slammed w/ a foreclosure on our credit records. Now that was some years ago (and the same condos now sell for $85k... yeah, ouch...), and it should be off my credit report any day now, but still...

I realize that I may really struggle with trust. I mean, I do trust that all things work together for good in the end. But there are still things that make me quiver in my boots and the thought of not being able to keep a roof over my head on my own is one of them. See, I've worked every since I was a teenager. I can't remember ever being out of a job. In fact, most of my adult life I've worked more than one job at a time. That doesn't mean I'm rolling in dough, but it does mean that I don't have to  financially lean on anyone 99.8% of the time (my folks have helped me out here and there over the years). Since I never really learned to trust anyone else (in my adult life) to provide for me, I am freaked out about knowing that someday, when My Sailor and I have a family, I'll be leaning on him in a financial sense more and more. I don't think I'll ever stop working. It's just not in me. My "work" may change from my current day job to writing (still working on that novel), but I'll never stop working for an actual paycheck.

I'm actually surprised by the stomach-turning fear I have of big purchases and especially of buying property. I'm aware that experience has taught me that I might not be able to keep it - but experience has also taught me that I'm going to be okay no matter what happens in my life. I know My Sailor and I aren't going to split up when we buy property. The two (buying property and divorce) aren't linked one bit in my mind - and that's reassuring.

But I find myself becoming more and more grateful for this oppurtunity to face down my fear - and, with some faith, trust, good planning, and pixie dust - prove them unnecessary. Even the Bionic Woman was afraid sometimes, but all of her parts got her through - so I'm sure her namesake will come out on top of this one too.

And another Date Bites the Dust!

Hi there readers!
  Many of you may already know this through other media, but I'm trying to get the word out. Last night we learned that the October 18th, 2012 wedding date is going to have to be postponed. Yes, again. Just like last year, My Sailor will be off Finding Nemo during October of this year, making it impossible to hold the ceremony.
  "So, when's the new date?"
We don't know. And we won't until probably Jan of 2013.  We can't afford to move it up (and he can't get any more leave approved this year anyway), so it'll most likely be next spring.
  How do I feel about all this?
 To say I'm disappointed is as true as it can be. And frustrated, as this is the 3rd date change, each of them pushing it into another calendar year.
  I'm painting it with a good brush because now we can focus more on our next move. Literally. We're aiming to move into a 3 bedroom (or a 2 bedroom with a den) in June. Now, we'll be able to focus on house hunting, deciding if we should rent or buy (mortgages are cheaper than renting anything over 2 bedrooms) and such.
  So there's the latest and greatest. I'll be posting to the Wellness Blog tonight all about Financial Wellness! Stay tuned! You might find some tips and tricks (like ebates and swag bucks) that you didn't know about! :)

Of Guest Lists, Plays, and Other Good Things....

The guest list. Sigh...

The invention of Facebook has certainly changed the way we address wedding invitations. Since EVERYONE knows about it, EVERYONE expects an invitation. Truth be told, we're keeping things fairly small (around 50 people). Which means he gets to invite 25 and I get to invite 25. In that 25 are immediate family, wedding party members (of course), and the officiant. So we plan on doing this in 2 waves. Family and wedding party gets the first wave of invitations, and friends will get the 2nd wave. And invitations will be going out this spring and summer to give people plenty of time to RSVP for the fall wedding. While I wish we could throw a HUGE party and invite EVERYONE we love, we are keeping our budget in mind first. I want to make sure we're not in debt for years for ONE DAY. A great day, mind you, but it is ONE DAY. I can't make peace with taking out a loan for 1 day, though that seems to be the norm to finance weddings these days. We're keeping it UNDER $5k. The average wedding costs $25k today. So while our story is anything BUT average, our wedding will be financially well below the "average". And I'm sure it'll turn out just right. The people who are ment to be there will be there. Those that are ment to support us from afar will be there in spirit as well.

On to less stressful topics!

Last night, I got the chance to see a local production of a hysterical British farce, "Black Comedy". No, the word "black" is NOT a reference to race. It's a reference to the dark. Most of the hour and 20 minute show takes place in the dark.  By now, you're probably asking how that works. Well, the first 5 minutes or so of the play take place on a black stage. You hear the characters talking and walking around. See, for our characters, when the stage is black, that is actually when it's "light" in the room. When the fuse (which only an electrician can change) blows, the entire stage lights up. However the characters are in the "dark". Literally. The actors play it as if the room is completely dark, adding to the hilarity. I highly recommend this wonderful show if it's ever playing near you. British farces have a special place in my heart, since that's how I started in theater. I've done several, but I'm sorry I missed out on the chance to audition for this one. However, at Bremerton Community Theater, the cast is right on, the direction is great, and everything (aside from a few slipping accents here and there) was professional grade. You'll bloody enjoy the break from your dreary day-to-day.  Click here to help them fill seats with your laughter!


As for the other things -
 I cleaned the house, worked over 1/2 a day shift, and am about to enjoy Dream House on Vudu. The sun was out today (yeah!), I got cars reserved for our trip in 3 1/2 weeks, AND My Sailor has tomorrow off.

All good things.

Good night!

Valentine's Day Cometh!

Valentine's Day is almost here! For some, Super Bowl Sunday is next "big" holiday, but I'm just not that much of a football (or an "eat-yourself-into-oblivion") gal. Most likely, it won't be a big celebration here, but here's what I would LOVE to see on my nightstand!

Cute isn't she? It's "Angel" from the Lilo and Stitch series. Sadly she's unavailable (sold out through Disney) and I highly doubt My Sailor has time or the inclination due to the poor guy's constant exhaustion to go searching around in the internet for it at the moment. That's okay though. It's just a 'thing'. Things get lost, stolen, broken, stained, worn out, etc. We're saving our pennies anyway for the upcoming trip. Maybe we'll do a special dinner out just the two of us during our vacation. As for his Valentine's Day gift, it starts up tomorrow. I have a few Valentine's Day cards that I plan to hide around starting this week, so he can stumbled across them during his 3 days of duty in a row.
We're keeping low pretty low key and it's nice not to have to stress over a greeting card holiday that commemorates a massacre anyway. But any excuse/reminder to show ones we love that we care is, IMHO, a good thing.

I can't wait to get away on this little trip! I probably should be nervous about meeting his family, but I'm not really. They've all been wonderfully supportive, so I count myself pretty lucky. Besides, I'm craving a new adventure and a change of scenery.

Yesterday I got a great surprise from one of my favorite Disney Podcasts!
I popped into "The Box" for WDWRadio's show and decided to hang out after the show. The Box people are great, and it looks as though Lou (the host of WDWRadio and the owner of the magazine I write for, Celebrations Press and I might get to meet up in Florida for a lunch AND do a Disneyland Tour this summer together! I'm pretty psyched about it. As if I need another excuse to go back to Disneyland (which I don't - I have plenty, trust me!) but I really respect all Lou does and the attitude and ideas with which he's maintained his Disney fan community. The crowd he's attracted and drawn together remind me of the greatest reasons of why we (Disney fans) love what we love. The attitude of "Keep Moving Forward" and "You can reach for your dreams" has really influenced me heavily over the past half a decade. Lou's work ethic, positive attitude, and passion is contagious (though I do enjoy a good Pete rant from the Dis Unplugged every once in awhile as well). I couldn't feel prouder or more honored to contribute to such a great community, or to represent the magazine whenever I can.