"The best is yet to come"

First the latest bits of news with me, and then the actual BLOG will begin:
1) I'm not moving. At least not until after '09 is over. So I'm sticking it out in the lake house. Which is something I actually feel totally okay (and, dare I say it, even happy) about.
2) Weight loss is at a stand still, but my body is going through an adjustment phase right now, so I'm okay with it. I'm making healthier decisions and that's what counts!
3) 49 days until my vacation.

Okay - now that that's done...

This weekend I hung out with some friends from high school (Gerber Baby's Mom and Gerber Baby's Dad). That got us talking about our high school years. Gerber Baby's Dad was considered a real catch in high school. Okay - so he was considered very good looking, but didn't have a "filter", so speaking wasn't always his strong point. But he was a generally funny guy who was good looking - and knew it.

It got me thinking about those people who say, "That was the best time of my life." As I approach my 30's though, I find my view on life is a bit longer sighted.

K-8? Definately NOT the best days of my life.
High School? Not bad, but definately not my peak.
Early 20's? Definately not bad, but I don't think I'd really hit my stride yet.
Mid 20's? Gained a TON of much needed flexibility, understanding, and confidence!
Late 20's? Definately finding my stride now, and looking better than ever. :)

But I believe the best is yet to come. ;)

Good women are like a fine wine - we only get better with age.

An Era Ends...

Back in 2006, I met a wonderful group of toilets...er....people. My fellow cast members in "American Standard" helped me through what could have been a much more difficult time in my life.

(If you're not one of the folks who came to see this originals show - we played singing, dancing, toilets. Great music, lots of laugh, and very little traditional potty humor!)

Trudy introduced me to Mr. Charlie's Fortune Cookie - a Chinese restruant with a great little lounge that had fun, classic style, kareoke. We were there every chance we got.

The oddest thing has happened since those "good ole' days". Everyone I used to go to Mr. Charlie's with has moved away.

And last month, Mr. Charlie's itself....
Closed.



Definately the signal of the turning of a page.

Thank you for the good times, Mr. Charlie.
You will be missed.

Apartment Anxiety?

This morning, through some measure of persistance, I was able to get approval for one of the apartments I've been looking at.

The excitement I expected to feel, well, I don't.

So now I'm wondering, "Why?"

In sorting through all these thoughts, I thought I'd blog about it. I'm sure some of you dear readers (ye brave, ye few) have been there done that.

Here's my moving background.
Until 2006, I was a bit of a nomad. I would move in to a place, and unpack to a degree, but I never allowed myself to get too attached to any one place. "Home" for me has always been something I've found in the love of those around me, not in a specific location.

When I moved into my little lake house, I unpacked more than I ever have. It became "home". I threw parties and hosted overnighters. I didn't have neighbors sharing walls we with. I have a little yard... it felt like, well, home. A perfect place for a couple to start their lives together - even though I've been in the unmarried crowd since I moved in.

So all that said - let's talk about the state of things at that house.
Since it was built in the 1930's, it's an older house and has many "older house in the country" problems. I've had termites, rats, possums living in my roof, and ants. I'm in "fire country" so the Witch Creek fires in 2007 only missed my house by 9 feet. I can't seem to keep up with the yard work on the regular either. A few other things have just been due to age - like dry rot in the roof (which has since been patched), dry rot on the porch by the back shed (so rotten you'll fall through if you walk on it) and a broken fence. I also lack heating (other than a small iron wood-burning stove) and air conditioning, and live in an area that gets below 32 in the winter at night, at above 1oo in the summer time.

My landlord is entering her 90's. She's very sweet, but on a limited income and is unable to keep the property up. I also, admittedly, haven't made much of fuss about it...

Anyway - all that said, you'd wonder why I'd want to live there.

Well, a picture is worth a thousand words, so here are some...

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

"Mom, can I marry my boots? PLEASE?!"

I feel whole again.

I first picked up a pair of these WONDERFUL boots in 1999. They accompanied me just about every single day (no exaggeration) until their unforunately demise in 2004.

I paid about $150 for them at that time - and I didn't have to buy new shows (aside from gym shows) for the next 5 years... How many of you can say you spend less than $30/year on shoes??

I have challenges with my feet (basically, they are flat as a board and my ankles turn in), so these little beauties are just what the doctor ordered.

Slipping them on this morning for the first time in 5 years felt awesome. Perfect. No need to break these in.

All of this elicated a funny e-mail conversation between me and my mom.
Disclaimer: I think marriage is a WONDERFUL thing, as does my mom who has been married for many years. My mom and I talk often about my romantic life/future - as women are prone to do. Gives us something to discuss other than work. Anyway, here's the conversation:

Me: "...And my boots are oh-so-comfy. Can I marry my boots? I’m sure they’d give me many years of bliss.!"

Mom: "OK, now, don’t go weird on me……boots are not people, they are things you walk in and on….oops, maybe that is marriage. "

Of course, we are joking. We both believe in treating our partners with the upmost respect (and if you read this blog for any amount of time, you'll probably realize that I strongly feel that marriage is one of the last true vestiages of honor in this world).

Unfortunately, my boots are already "paired", and I never shared well. ;)

Realizations and Reviews from a Theatrical Weekend

Last Thursday began, what I've come to call "the great theater weekend!"
Until I find some weekend to top it, I attended 3 shows in 4 days.


Here are the reviews on those shows:

"Cats" at the Moonlight in Vista



A pretty decent show, but it seemed to lack that one essential ingredient that makes some shows truely work.

The singing was good.

The dancing was great.

The acting though... was just a tad lacking. So while it was enjoyable, it felt a bit like a variety show (which is somewhat what Cats is, so that's not too far off), but it wasn't quite there on the emotional level for me.


"Hamlet" Free Performance at the Coronado Playhouse





Kudos to each actor for knowing his or her lines well. Also, kudos to the lighting design and costuming crew. Very nice. And the price was right (free).

While it's very sad to see this theater lose it's funding, I was a bit less impressed by the overall acting. It almost felt that they didn't have enough time spent getting to know their characters. This scene depicted in the picture was probably one of Hamlet's truest scenes, but I didn't really see his descent into madness as I would have expected. Instead, the character felt more like a spoiled, scheming brat, than a truly tormented man.


Overall, it felt adequate for a community theater show, however - had I paid more than $10 for the ticket, I would have felt disappointed.



But before you think I hate everything...


"Cyrano De Bergerac" at the Old Globe Theater


THIS WAS THE MOST AMAZING PERFORMANCE I HAVE EVER SEEN!

It's this kind of well crafted show that makes my inner artist scream, "I want to be part of THAT! Tell me how I can do that. What do I need to do to be part of THAT?"



There was not a single weak link in the entire cast.

Each actor was either Equity or a student studying as part of the USD Master of the Arts Program. And it showed.

Well directed. Well acted. Great costuming, make-up, and set...

This show was 3 1/2 hours long with 2 short intermissions. And it was SOLD OUT and well deserved. If I had paid $100 for my seat (which I didn't), I would have felt I got my money's worth.

Unlike Cats, this show relied completely on excellent acting and character choices. Patrick Page and Cyrano carried the show along beautifully.


My Personal Take on the Story: Cyrano, while conflicted, was a man's man as far as I'm concerned. He knew the value of words, and had the drive to better himself to bring himself and those that knew him (comrad and foe alike) honor. While a furious villian at times, a deeper honor stood out in the sincerity of his expression to his love, as well as his interaction with the men close to him. Though he bucked society to the point of obsurdity at times, he also gave all he had to one woman - despite the fact that she may never be able to return it. Honoring those he loved was more important than his own pride in the end.

And for that, I am honored to have been able to be among the audience. It reinforced my beliefe that romance isn't optional - when it comes to love, it's a necessity.

The differences in all the shows reminded me that I am on the right road by giving this acting thing a real, definate shot.

Adoption Hits the News...And insider's perspective

This is the blog you've all been waiting for, I'm sure...

One of the defining moments in my life was being adopted. Now, I was an infant when I was adopted.

I don't believe my childhood was too different from any others. In fact, in many ways, it was exceptional. To this day, whatever their flaws, I believe I won the parent lottery.

That said, I also won the sibling lottery too. Whatever his flaws, my brother has been there for me more times than I can count as an adult. As kids, we were your typical brother and sister, driving each other crazy one minute, playing video games together the next.

The only really unusual part of my childhood are things like:

In my first baby picture, I'm about a week old, and I'm living with a foster family.

Though I was born in January, I didn't legally get my last name until October that same year.

I don't look like anyone in the house I grew up in.

My family has a higher level of respect than most. Since our parents believed that we were our own people, and didn't seek traits of themselves in us, we were free to grow up as our own people - guided by the love and respect for our parents.

I realized early in life that blood may be thicker than water, but love is stronger than either.

That said - I realize that that simple circumstance of my birthright, gave me a unique view of family that I am forever grateful for.

So when I read today that, 18 months into an adoption, and infant was brought back to child services, I was saddened. I do believe that everything works out in the end for the best interests of the child (naive, I know, but I believe that faith is a good thing - maybe the best of things - and believing otherwise gives this infant a grim prognosis). But it saddened me that, someone who has five children of her own, and wanted to open her heart and home to give life to an innocent... well, the fact that they "couldn't bond" like these parents could with thier biological children, saddened me.

I'm sure the bond is different with biological families. In fact, I am 99.99% sure that it is. But I don't think that makes it "better", just, perhaps, easier? My speculation comes from this - it's easy to bond with something that looks like you, where you can look forward to "I wonder if they'll look/be like me?" With kids that aren't biologically related, some traits pass on, but many of the obvious ones (hair color, height, eye color, skin tone, etc) just don't.

So -the bond between adopted child and parent is unique. I think going into it expecting it to be the same relationship as a biological child, is a mistake. It's just as rewarding, and maybe perhaps even a little more because it's a tad more difficult to forge.

In conclusion, I'm sure things will work out just as they are supposed to for this little guy.

Just like it did for a little 5 year old girl from Taiwan that I won't forget. It was about 5 years ago. I remember sitting there at Christmas that year for the first time feeling that something was missing from the picture perfect life I was living with my then-husband.

She had glasses and was older and was therefore dubbed "difficult to place". I'd fallen in love and we'd gotten started collecting information to bring her home, when I found out that we didn't quite meet the requirements. I kept inquiring and after about 2 months, I found out that she was placed with a family in Chicago, closer to where her younger sister was adopted out to a couple years earlier.

While it obviously wasn't ment to be the way I had hoped. My heart both hurt and rejoiced for her.


For the first time, I felt like she was mine and it was just a matter of bringing her home - yet, when I heard where she was placed, I knew that right had been done by her and was glad for her good fortune. I'd like to think, for a split second, I may have understood one of the purest, most unadultered forms of love.

Not everyone is able to nurture that kind of unique relationship adopted kids have with their folks. As for me, I hope that little girl won the parent lottery like I did. It does my soul good to believe it, wether it's the truth or not.

I hope the same for this little guy.

And who knows?! I'm not dead yet! Maybe someday I'll be able to share the love my parents did for me. As long as I'm this side of dirt - there's hope! ;)

The Gift that doesn't cost a penny...

There is one gift that any human can give any other.

It's never inappropriate, no matter what your relationship with someone.

In fact, you can give this to someone before you even know their name.

And they'll probably appreciate and remember it.

It doesn't cost a dime.

But it's something in this world we often withhold from those we hold dearest.

What is it?

It's undivided attention.

How many of us have texted while we're on the phone with someone else while we're doing something completely unrelated to either the text or the call? That may seem an extreme example, but I use it because - hey! I've done it.

If we didn't live in such an instant-gratification world, things like Google, text messaging, and wi-fi hotspots wouldn't exist.

Now, there's nothing wrong with technology. Don't get me wrong. I have long embraced the computer age. I remember learning keyboarding on my Apple IIE (you know, back when floppy disks were actually 'floppy').

But all that said and done, the best gift we can give anyone, is our undivided attention.

How many of us would consider a "great date" to involve multiple text messages or phone calls to someone we're not out with? What's the point of a date anyway- To get away, enjoy life, and share an experience with someone we care for. It's to make memories and focus on one another.

Having that one on one time of undivided attention makes children feel valued, check out clerks feel at ease, co-workers feel validated, and loved ones feel -well, loved.

Here's the challenge. Give the gift that doesn't cost a penny whenever you can. And you just may start a trend, in this multi-tasking world, of someone giving it back to you.