Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Walk It Out

Today, I took my car in for some work and decided to use the waiting time to go for a walk instead of sitting in the lobby making further progress on Life of Pi.

Man, I miss living in a walk-able city! Silverdale is very walk-able, as was my hometown of Escondido, CA. Don't get me wrong, I love living rural, and I understand that you can't have both. But, man, I really had some good quality thinking time walking by myself to do various errands. Round trip to the grocery store used to be about 3 miles, and half that distance would include carrying 10-16lbs of groceries in my various reusable bags. So today's walk was just a little 1.5 mile round trip, but it still gave me lots of good thinking time. Even though I owned a car, I lived a single girl life in southern California (which means I couldn't afford to drive it).

Anyway, walking reminded me of being broke didn't mean I was unhappy. It was most often the opposite.

Being alone with my thoughts is a pretty healthy thing. This walk I discovered -

 I no longer hate my legs! I've actually thought this for a few days now. Catching a glimpse when I pass a mirror no longer makes me wanna wrinkle my nose and go "ew".  While I still wear pants a lot, it's a non-scale victory for me. My legs have been the least favorite party of my body for a long time, but the more I see those thunder-thighs creeping away, and the more I see a consistanct other than 'squishy' emerging, the happier I am with them. Do I love them? Eh, not yet, but I don't hate 'em anymore, and that's progress!

I guess walking really helps me kick my 'stinkin' thinkin'' (a Dadism) to the curb
For example, recently I've been missing the whole "romance" thing. I know, I know, it's a little ridiculous. After all, I'm nearing my mid 30's, married to a guy who works 14hr shifts 6 days/week (when he isn't deployed), so what more can I really expect? I mean, I'm old enough to know better, right? Not to mention, My Sailor tells me he loves me and I'm amazing every day. What more could a girl want, right?

It's no secret that I've always expected a lot from the men in my life, but no more than I'm willing to give. Getting dressed up, feeling good, and going out to a nice dinner I don't have to plan (or worry about paying for) would be awesome. And I'm sure we'll get there again - in time.

But in truth, I have a guy that waited 13 years to see if life would lead us together. And now, we've known each other about 15 years and we still enjoy each other. That's worth more than all of the romantic evenings in the world. We worked hard to get this far, so what's a little loss of candlelight, right? We've got just about all the big things right. We're pretty darn good at not taking each other for granted (always a hazard, but easier to do when you're in our shoes - when seeing your partner is a bit of a rarity). Gratitude abounds in our house, from a "Thanks for restocking the toilet paper" to "I really appreciate all you do. Thanks for insert-chore-here." We actually enjoy spending time together, and we share similiar goals. Why sweat the small stuff when we've got so much going for us?

My walk managed to turn my"gr... nothing is romantic anymore... it's all dinners in front of the boob tube and going out to a movie last minute most of the time..." attutidue, into "eh, life is pretty good!" We are not completely bereft of romance. We did have an amazing dinner at Monsuier Paul on our last vacation. That was delicious, romantic, and one of the best times yet! Amazing service, amazing atmosphere, a cozy table, amazing wine and food....Followed by Illuminations above the lagoon in EPCOT. Does it get any better?

 So we'll keep having that romantic moments -they just won't be every weekend. That will make them more special.

I still have some harder work outs in my future tonight, but it's been good to get out, get some fresh air, and get some walkin' on.

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