Thursday, June 13, 2013

Recurring Themes

This week, I discovered Jacob's Ladder in the Gym. It's the latest instrument on my way to awesomeness. I'm not nearly as sore from it as I expected to be, but it was worth every sweat-dripping-nausea-inducing second of the climb.  Oddly enough, I'm more sore from my latest weight lifting efforts, even though I'm don't think I set any new records this week. (Which is fine. I set other personal records and my body is starting to really show the changes.)

Anyway, as I climbed/stumbled through the ladder, I told myself to "Just keep moving". (Or "Keep Moving Forward" - Meet the Robinson's style.) When I sit and think about it, that statement is actually a pretty powerful force of will right there.

I've used it for other things as well. The writing is a great example of it.  I just write a little on my book every day. I hope to be done by the end of the year, since this is something I can only devote my free time to for the foreseeable future. I write for the magazines (non-paying gigs currently) because you never know where it's going to go. A huge part of following your dreams is doing just that - following them. One step at a time, whereever they take you. I really want to have this memoir on the shelves in book stores. Yes, on the shelves, not just on the web.

Even a moving car can be redirected, but a parked car? Well, that's much harder to move. I find this one particularly true when I'm running or working out. It's easier to just go with momentum than it is to sit/stand there stationary.
But that's just one of the several recurring themes in my life.

 My Dad used to say, "Wear out; don't rust out." While this might sound a bit work-a-holic, I don't believe anyone has ever died saying "I wish I sat around more." Doing good work and taking time to really experience life is what we're here for. Afterall, no one sits around thinking, "Gosh, I wish my life were more bleak." One glance at social media will tell show how popular complaining is. So why not be focused on the things that make us happy, proud, and fulfilled, and work on the things that don't?

The more I write about my adoption and my life, the more I see this one is VERY true:

"If Good things come out of Bad Situations - the BEST things often come from the WORST situations."

My life alone is an example of that. In fact, while I don't speak for every adoptee, I do feel that adopted kids come from some of the worst situations. Hopefully, their lives lead them to better situations. Whether we're the product of rape, abuse, poverty, orphans, or just unplanned pregnancies, someone out there is willing to work with whatever our lives have in store. Whether it's medical needs, emotional needs, counseling, or just learning to trust the world around us and developing healthy relationships, there is a lot of potential of good that can come out of something that may not have started out that way.

But let's take a far less unique situation.

In 2004, if it weren't for the painful experience of a divorce (what I considered the worst thing in the world at the time), I'd never been equipt to be a Military spouse, much less a Submariner's spouse. I would have continued to put my dreams on the back burner, sacrificing so many things that make me 'me' for an invisible 'us'. (While, yes, there are some sacrifices to be made when you're part of a family, defining features shouldn't be some of them.) I also lived alone in a little hunting cottage in an oak wood near a lake for 3 years afterwards. Having the time alone really helped me grow in a way I don't think I could have had I been constantly surrounded by people.

Sure, I dated and had friends, but I spent a majority of my time bonding with my Brindle Boxer Dog and my mountain bike.
Learning to 'fly solo' gave me a leg up on being a Submariner's Wife. Short notices, little-to-no contact, and other challenging situations have put my skills to the test and constantly teach me about the process of adaptation. The difference is, I have the confidence to know I can function on my own just fine if I need to.  I've been able to pass these skills and strategies on to other ladies in my life.

Those skills have been invaluable.

Having learned so much from that failed marriage, I learned about things I need to tweak to stay sharp.

If it wasn't for the bad, I'd never have learned how to be better.

A few other recurring themes:

"We all have a finate amount of energy in life. Choose carefully what you spend it on."

"You can't give someone something you don't have."
 Yes, I'm a believer in the concept that you can't truly value the love of another person until you learn to value and love yourself.

"There is magic in every day. If you don't see it...look harder."

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