Friday, May 17, 2013

My Own Personal Brand of Crazy 'or' Just Your Average Day

For those of you that are married - imagine your spouse.

That's my handsome goof ball right there in the GhostBusters shirt.
Now imagine it's a regular day and they leave for work.

As the day wears on, your cell phone runs out of juice. Due to annoying circumstances beyond your control, you can't charge it immediately. Annoying, but no big deal, right? Something you can take care of when stores are open.

The time comes when he's supposed to be home... and it passes.... no big deal still. Work occasionally makes him/her stay late.

Then 2 hours pass... then 3....

That was pretty much my morning.

6 hours after his shift was scheduled to end, it actually does end.
Welcome to our household.

Welcome to the Navy.

This is why they say that spouses serve too.

So, that said, I seriously needed an outlet. Thursday is usually my rest day, but I cranked out my C25K anyway. Since I started the Week 4 program, I can honestly say that it's now very real... and I still don't like running most of the time. BUT I'm getting better at it. Some days I enjoy it more than others. I'm doing it because it's hard... because overcoming something that is hard feels awesome.

Challenges are good things.

And occasionally - you stumbled upon little peices of magic in the process - like this vista I spied along the way. (See photo below.)

No editing has been done to this photo.
Trainer Guy and My Sailor are starting to get treated to my own special brand of 'crazy' lately.

See, I tend to... talk to myself. I know we all do it to some degree, but I actually listen to myself. It's like my inner-parent voice comes out and whips my whiney insecurities into shape.

For example, I've been having trouble for a while with the strength of my left side of my body. Seriously - sometimes it acts almost as if I've had a stroke and it's measurably and noticably weaker than my dominant side.  My left arm would struggle to lift a weight my right arm made easy work of.  I was starting to feel like Freddy Rodriguez from Lady in the Water.  You know... the guy who only worked out one side of his body just to see what would happen?

One day, while we were working out, I was getting tired of my left shoulder deciding it wasn't as strong as my right. I had a choice. I could continue to struggle, believing that the anxiety I had over the instability of my left side was 'real', or I could choose otherwise.

So I chose otherwise.  I said something to the effect of, "Cut it out. You can do this. You're just as strong as the other side." Then I grasped the weight and lifted it just fine.
Luckily, TrainerGuy just chuckled quitely.

I haven't had much trouble with my left shoulder lifting anything since.
I've done the same thing with my left left. Struggling on knee to touch lunges was getting really old, so, one day, I told it (out loud) that "You're just as strong as the other leg. Now get on with it." I have a lot less trouble with my left leg now as well.

My Sailor has heard me talk quietly to myself at work as well.
At least I never answer myself.

All of this reminds of one of my favorite bits of one of my favorite books, The Last Lecture, which I highly suggest everyone check out. (I love the audio book and listen to it often.) In this particular portion he was taking about what he learned from a football coach he felt was tough on him as a kid.

“There's a lot of talk these days about giving children self-esteem. It's not something you can give; it's something they have to build. Coach Graham worked in a no-coddling zone. Self-esteem? He knew there was really only one way to teach kids how to develop it: You give them something they can't do, they work hard until they find they can do it, and you just keep repeating the process.” 

I've always been big on taking on challenges. More than once, I've gotten in over my head, admittedly. But training, marrying a submariner, writing a book and working full time?
Just the tip of the iceberg.
I believe we are just as much 'works in progress' as adults as we are as kids. It's important to take on new challenges and dream new dreams.

Lift this 75lb weight?
"Honey, I won't be home for a while. I'll call ya in a few days/weeks/months."
My left is just as strong as my right...
The insides are stronger than the outside gives it credit for.
And I'll never be done learning.


  1. I have to battle with my right side. It made me think I had some type of brain event. My elbow is bent when I lift over my head. Coach comes over and straightens it. Or my weight gets reduced. I get frustrated,they see it and come over and tell me it will get better. It has. I will have to try telling myself.

    1. Hope it helps! Discpline those lazy joints! ;)