12 hour days...

California was fun, and it was great to be warmed by the spirit of family and friends. Even though most of my plans to see friends and family didn't pan out the way I'd hoped, it still was a great trip. I set up a few occasions to meet up with groups, but with the holidays, schedules just couldn't collide (including mine), but I got to spend time with a few people and my awesome family.

Finding the 40th anniversary Disneyland time capsule!

And I'm glad to report the weight I've lost since Thanksgiving has continued to help a fit with my wedding dress! I am excited with my progress so far, which is even more incentive to keep at it. Weigh in day is next week. I've been able to eat right and work out even with my long days, so I'm sticking to it!

I got a few surprise words from My Sailor recently! I wasn't expecting to hear (well, read, since there are no phones on a submarine) from him until next year, so it was a nice surprise that made the extra work more tolerable.


Speaking of extra work...

Since I've been back, I've been working 12 hour days, and will be until the end of the year. Weekends included. (Hence the lack of blogging.) I've really decided to buckle down and seek balance during this heavy work period. I'm taking care of myself, working out on lunch breaks, and eating right. Today I made a big pot of Chicken Thyme barley soup. It turned out pretty darn good, and I have servings all lined up in the freezer for the rest of the week. Between that, some salad greens, fresh fruit, and my usual morning goodies (egg beaters, turkey bacon, and oatmeal), I'm all set to stay in and get as much done as possible. Clydas has been a couch potato lately, but it's because I don't have much time for play. I'm working on it though!

So, what did Santa bring me? You'll just have to wait until "2nd Christmas" (my celebration with My Sailor next month) to find out!

As for the upcoming New Year's eve - I do have a bottle of bubbly in the fridge. I'll not only be toasting the New Year (unless I save it for My Sailor's return), but I'll be toasting the end of 12 hour shifts! Sunday and Monday I have OFF!

Christmas in California

It's 75 degrees this Christmas day. Bright and sunny as usual, and warm of heart with my family around me. I'm glad to be here on Christmas day.

My favorite day of the year is Christmas Eve. It was great to spend it with my parents, but once they went to bed I had a "date" with My Sailor! See, I had uploaded A Muppet's Christmas Carol (his favorite Muppet movie) on to his Ipod before he left. It's also on mine, so we decided that Christmas Eve, no matter where we are, we'd take some time out and watch it. I haven't seen it in years, and I forgot what an a fun, warm film it is! For a little while, I felt one step closer to My Sailor.

I'll share photos and get into more detail about my trip (and Disneyland) on a later post. It's been a jam packed schedule.

Just Dance 3 Saved My Life

Okay, so that's kind of a lie. Alright, it's an outright bold faced lie, but it got you to read this blog, didn't it?

Seriously speaking though - for the past 4 weeks or so I've been doing a Just Dance 3 competition with a fellow MyFitnessPal'er. I just move the coffee table out of the way, and get my groove on. Each week, we dance it up to 3 songs, and whoever gets the highest score (2/3 songs) wins $5 from the loser, paid via paypal. Nice set up right? The rules are - YOU have to do it, meaning the high score HAS to show YOUR profile name. Honor system here. To submit the score, we send photos of the song selection screen, which shows the name on the profile, the score, and the song title every Thursday (though the cut off for dancing is Wednesday night).

Having the strong competitive spirit that I do, I've busted my hump every week. And, yes, it's only $5, and sometimes we pass the same $5 back and forth. But $5 adds up, and so do the health benefits! And, I'm having fun, AND (ready for this one?) I WEIGH LESS NOW THAN I HAVE IN THE PAST 3 YEARS! When My Sailor left, it was before Halloween, and I was weighing in about 213ish... So I decided I wanted to lose 15lbs before he got back in Jan. That really doesn't allow for slacking off. As of this morning, I was down to 201. Almost to my goal and there is no word on when he's coming home yet. Anyone wanna bet I can make it to 20lbs before he comes home? ;)

Between making small changes to my diet, and working out at least 3 days a week (the min for a good score on that game), the results are really starting to show and pay off. I can see it in inches AND on the scale! It feels painfully slow, but in hindsight, it's a good, steady loss.

Next week we are skipping score submission, so basically we have 2 weeks to do the same 3 songs and practice before submitting our highest scores. I'm really hoping I can borrow a Wii and do a few dances at my parent's house on Christmas day (since that's really the only day I'll have time).

It's also had some other benefits too. It's a GREAT stress break from all this work, and nothing takes your mind off of your worries quite like moving and good music (even if you're a pretty aweful dancer like me). Strangely enough, I am actually learning some moves off of this too! I mean, I physically can NO sit still to songs like "Price Tag" or "Airplanes". I'm sure I look completely silly, but I'm having so much fun. I didn't think workout out could be this much fun - or this addictive! When I need to get some stress or energy out, it's my go-to.

Need to get someone with a Wii a gift for Christmas? Well, I don't review video games often on here, but this one is worth every single dime. It hasn't been taken out of my Wii in MONTHS. It won't make you bullet proof, but it will make you feel like it.

A Little more Christmas - and a zombie

It's just after midnight and for the last 20 minutes, I've been enjoying a little down time. Sigh. Lovely. Sitting in my candle lit living room, getting ready to compose the email to My Sailor for the day.

So I thought I'd share a bit of my artistry with you. Clydas seems to approve.

Clydas checking out the tree and our box of Christmas cards. Keeping them safe and handy for My Sailor to check out when he gets home.

 Now, Picasso and I have a lot in common apparently. My artwork seems more...conceptual... lol Look, I'm an artist in many forms, but drawing and painting have never really been 2 of those talents. So honestly, and 8 year old probably could have painted my tree, but I put my best into it, and I actually kinda like that it's FAR from perfect. Life is far from perfect, so it suites me in it's artistic statement (though that wasn't my intention).

 I did a bunch of tidying up and photo taking tonight. Though I'm utterly exhausted from all this work work work, I can't help but feel empowered by my recent good news.

Good stuff: My holiday bonus arrived! Which has loosened up my budget for my Disneyland trip this Friday. Yeah!
More Good stuff: Though I have my gripes about the company I work for, they have been great when it comes to being family friendly. When I told my boss one of my bosses that I'd like to take some time off next month, but odds are I'll have 24 hrs notice, or less, when My Sailor comes home, he was great about it. He actually sounded happy to hear I'll be taking some of my 50+ hrs of PTO. 

Dining room table

Even MORE Good stuff: I feel like, short of getting the carpets cleaned, 90% of the apartment is ready for My Sailor's homecoming. KEEPING it that will be the greatest challenge, since it doesn't take much to clutter up a small space. After I'm done folding clothes in the bedroom tomorrow, the apartment will be in awesome shape for the new year. Though I don't know when My Sailor is coming back exactly, it's encouraging to have so much good stuff going on within these walls lately. Now all I have to do is keep it up. Sounds easy, but I'm no domestic goddess, so it's easier said than done! It's probably a lot like my challenges with weight loss, though I've learned a few tricks to making better decisions on that front. I'm also learning balance - and maybe that's a lesson that needs to keep seeping into my life.

So, have you spotted the zombie yet?

No?
I'll give you a BIG hint...

 Good night...er...morning!

I won the lottery...

Here it is, nearly 2:30am and I just finished work. Maybe I'm a bit punchy, but I kinda feel like I won the lottery. Not the money lottery (though that WOULD be nice!) but the life lottery.

First, I got on the scale and found out I'm down 2lbs from when I was on the scale this time last week. Another nudge towards my goal!

Then, I needed to get an RX refilled and they did it within an hour! Usually they end up having to call out for it, so I won there.

I knew I had 10 hours of work ahead of me, but I wasn't ready to go home, so I swung by the local movie theater. I promised myself a flick, IF there was something playing at that time. Arthur Christmas had started 5 minutes before I pulled in, which means I only missed the previews anyway. Awesome. And the movie was FANTASTIC! I laughed, I cried, I can't wait to see it again. I'm owning this new Christmas Classic. Way to go Sony Animation!

But that's just the little stuff - winning the life lottery is so much more... (Do NOT cue Charlie Sheen here please. No Charlie Sheen allowed on this blog - EVER.)

I've mentioned before on my blog about how I won the parent lottery (if you're a new reader, check out some of the "adoption" or "family" tags for more info)- and my parents are still amazing me. Since I'm adopted, there is some argument for "nature vs nurture", but I have to say that I feel I owe all my good traits to my awesome parents. I value my family more each day. Even my big brother is pretty amazing - a puzzlement, but amazing none-the-less.

I won the "guy" lottery too. (Sure, unlike the parent lottery, I had to play and lose a few times before hitting the jackpot, but isn't that how the lotto works?) My Sailor had been my "safety net" for nearly 1/2 my life before he became, well, My Sailor. He's taught me some very valuable things over our time together. But the one that stands out most tonight is the mentality of "It'll be alright." As long as I can remember, those were his magic words to make me feel better. Sure, I'd heard them before, but for some reason, coming from him, I always believed it. Maybe it's his stead fast belief (that I now share as a recovering-fatalist) that all things work out for good, and, even if it's not what you expected, it's alright. Or it will be - eventually.

As I wind down tonight, I'm re-reading his emails he's sent me from this deployment and I'm reminded what a good writer he is and how his writing, for me, has the same quality as his spoken words. It's sincere, well said, and simple. So even though we've discovered there are only so many ways to type "I miss you" and "I love you" and "I can't wait to see you again", the value doesn't diminish over time. I still believe every word. I guess I finally understand what trust really means. It goes beyond the simple fact that I don't worry about cheating in our relationship (yes, there are women on his sub). I wish I had better words to describe it. I feel I'm close to describing it adequately, but still falling far short on the deep under current of empowerment that runs through it.

And I have a holiday bonus coming! That IS like hitting the lotto right there!

Need thoughts? I think not.

So I was working on this "deep thought" blog about the evolution of relationships. After all, a recent relocation is part of my journey (moved from Southern California to Western Washington ), and relationships have changed dramatically during that time. I wasn't worried about keeping in touch with folks, or meeting new people. I'm good at going out and meeting people now (a skill I continue to hone, which says a lot for this natural hermit), and already know I'm pretty great about keeping in touch with long distance folks. But I never expected to go home and find that people who were like family to me now no longer have a moment to spare for a hug and a hi. It's healthy for relationships to ebb and flow and evolve (or fade away) over time. And it's natural that family should come first. It's just disappointing that I probably won't be home again until 2013 after this trip, or later, and I'll miss those hugs and hi's. Facebook just isn't the same as face time. I guess I didn't anticipate how tough it would be seeing people I've come to care for over the holidays. I 'assumed' (and we all know what THAT word means) that when I was in town, it would be simple to hook up with folks.

And I'm not singling out my California family of friends. Even up here it's been challenging. People from My Sailor's regular boat are working crazy schedules, so naturally, their families need time together (alone) during the holidays to bond. They don't think to call up the girl (who they have barely met) and say, "Hey, want to grab some lunch?" Honestly, if I were in there position, I wouldn't really think about it either. Time with family is number one. Just like I'm sure I'll "disappear" for a while when My Sailor gets home.

But that's actually NOT the blog I wanted to write. So before this starts to sound like an invitation to a pity party, I wanted to blog about my GOOD day, that's about to end shortly. Not the good part, but that's when I go to bed.

I got a bunch of overdue cleaning done, the kitchen is spotless (wahoo!) except for the floors, which will happen tomorrow. I feel like I'm FINALLY ready to start actually drawing up the tree soon. I want to make time to do it before I leave on Thursday.

I also decided to take my lazy, lonely arse up to PrettyBre's apartment-warming party! She's house-sat for me once now, and will be doing it again while I'm in California for Christmas. I got to meet her boyfriend, Bre's E, and a few new folks that were very cool. (Remember what I said about being better about making new friends? Fudge and wine always helps.)

I also found out that holiday bonuses are on the way from work! Whew! I never expect or plan for a bonus, but every little bit helps, especially since...

WE SET A WEDDING DATE!  FINALLY! I have a deposit down on the photographer, the DJ, and (as soon as they reply to my email) the venue! So time and date are in place now! At least... until the Navy tells us otherwise.

I can't wait for my Disneyland time and a BREAK from work. Yes, I know I do it to myself. I work so much to keep myself busy, so that the time flies - but I could sure use a vacation from the stress of working, waiting, and goal reaching.

So Christmas in California? Bring it on.


  But that's not the blog I wanted to

I'm 31 years old... and I Believe.

WARNING: THIS BLOG IS NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM! ENJOY AT RISK OF GETTING OFFENDED AND THERE IS NOTHING THAT WILL CHANGE MY MIND.
 
Good. Now that we understand each other and that's out of the way, let's proceed, shall we?


My Christian friends are probably cringing right now. No, I haven't forgotten The Reason for the Season. But it's time I came out of the closet.

I'm 31 years old, and I believe ... in Santa. (Double click on the box below.)


Available for rent through Youtube and for free through Hulu.com. (No, no one pays me to advertise. What you get here is what I've stumbled across and what's moved me.)

If you see one holiday movie this year, make time to see Becoming Santa.One man's journey into becoming Santa Claus really hit home for me today. He discovered a feeling I've tried to put words to for years now. Thank you Jack and your team for making this film!

Yes, I believe in Jesus Christ, but yes, I also believe in Santa.

And yes, I don't believe the 2 have to contradict one another.

Do I believe a fat, bearded home invader in a red and white suite will show up on my rooftop and leave coal or presents in my stockings that are hung by the fire with oh-so-much care? I should explain...

I believe in all Santa stands for. And I believe anything that opens the doors to the kindness, the goodness, and the generosity in people's hearts, is a good thing. So in that, in short, I believe in Santa. My face still lights up when I see him in the Disneyland Christmas parade and he waves to me. (Yes, just at me! Not at you, even if you're standing right next to me.)

A few people interviewed in the documentary put to words what I've always felt, but never been able to find a way to vocalize:

"To stop believing in Santa Clause at an 'appropriate age' is a completely foreign concept to me. I kinda feel sorry for people who stop believing at any certain time."- Unknown

"Is the faith that there is a gentleman in the North Pole who actually comes on his sleigh that actually lands on your roof and comes down a chimney and puts all these toys there? Is that what we're believing in? Or are we believing in the goodness and the kindness of humanity? The fact that we've created a story for a child but as adults we actually perform what it is that this being is doing." - John Merian, President of Tuxedos by Merian.

"I don't think there is anything better about humans, anything more redemptive about humans, than when we give." - David Pilgrim, PhD, Fonder Jim Crow Museum


"Whether it's doing it for charity, or just to bring joy to your child or a loved one, there is something wonderful about being a secret giver and doing it mysteriously." - Santa Tim Connaghan, The Kringle Group, LLC.

"We need a person or a force out there to promote the ideas of goodness, and kindness and generosity, and happiness, and joy." - Santa Earl Nicholas

"I think Santa is maybe a bit of a common denominator for us all...For me, Santa Claus helps deliver all of those feelings that should be present in all religions. I think that he creates this...this magical experience for people without having any of those road blocks that we put up. I don't think we mean to put up those road blocks, but we do." - Unknown

"There are Christian Santas, there are Jewish Santas, there are Muslim Santas, there's a Budhist Santa, there are Wiccan Santas, and there are probably Santas that have never seen the inside of a place of worship in their life. What do they share in common? They share the belief that love, hope, and joy is the best of us." - a Military Santa

No matter what you believe, Santa Claus was, at one time, a real person. His story of generosity has grown into a tradition. Even if Christ's Birthday and Santa's arrival weren't  celebrated on the same day, I'd still believe. (In fact, how awesome would be it to celebrate them on different days?! After all, St. Nicholas died on December 6th, but Germany and Austria celebrate Santa's Arrival on December 5th.) Because, at the risk of repeating myself, if it can open people's hearts to accentuate the goodness, kindness, and generosity - Sign. Me. Up.

This year, my one gift from Santa would be to please find My Sailor on his submarine and give him the feeling of a warm hug from me.

Yes, there's there's a little Santa in all of us.