Friday, February 28, 2020

From Thread to Blanket

Family hike in Port Gamble
I'll get back to cruise updates eventually. I had a few hiccups, but now I have a new computer to fill in some gaps and get back to writing more regularly. Yeah!

We spent all winter making memories and now we slide back into the usual, hectic, day to day shuffle of school, work, and nostalgia.

Christmas Day, 2019

 This whole family and parenting thing isn't something 20-something me would have dreamed up. It's truly tested the philosphies I've absorbed and created for my life.

It's hard sometimes. It's gritty. It kind of reminds of a rich well tailored, aged glass of wine. I was never going to be with someone in the military or in law enforcement - and I married a submariner who isn't looking to retire until 2030. But he is not his job. That's just his job. He is a remarkable guy who manages to make it easier to be myself while at the same time fully supporting every new adventure or idea. Occasionally he's the voice of reason.  He sees life the same way I do - as a big adventure. And your family are the people who travel along with you.

And I'm glad to be his choosen family.

Japanese Heritage Festival, Jan. 2020
A long time ago, when I struggled and panicked with The Impossible Girl's condition, a nurse once confessed she didn't know much about girls born with ovarian cysts, especially her size. I explained that I was diagnosed with them since I was 19 and she immediately said, "Oh! Great! You're the perfect mother for her then," a lit of relief in her voice.

She had no idea I needed those words that day - but I clung to them - and still do when I'm tempted not to trust my instincts.

The Impossible Girl keeps me on my toes like I never though possible. And I have the right village around to help me help her through life. It doesn't mean I'm a perfect person or a perfect parent. It just means that as long as I'm trusting my gut, we'll all be okay.

Feb. 2020 

Our days are hectic. A usual week day he is already gone for work while I get the kiddo off to school and then hit work myself, until I go pick her up. Then we relax for a couple hours at home (well, I do chores, she relaxes) and then The Impossible Girl and I head into the Y around 3:30pm for 3 more hours of work for me, and 3 hours of Child Watch time for her. Then it's home and dinner and bedtime before 830pm. It's a pretty tight ship to run. Sometimes My Sailor is around in the afternoon/evenings, he takes over parenting in the evening/afternoon while I buzz back to the gym for that evening shift. Saturdays have become Daddy Daughter days when My Sailor isn't working. He spends the morning doing fun stuff with her. I come home from work and pretend not to be tired and we settle in for the rest of the day - or head out to do something fun together. 
Story time at Barnes and Noble, Feb 2020

Sunday is reserved for family day, since lately, we're all around for it. However, I've decided to honor that even when My Sailor can't join us. Family day we set off and do something fun outside as a family and Monday it starts all over again. Sometimes nerves get frayed. We feel things deeply. Emotions get big. It's easy to drown in the needs of the family and I'm still figuring out that tightrope balance between being a mother, a partner, a coach, and an athlete I can be proud of.

But each little thread of effort we make to stay connected - each bit of quality time we carve out - weaves the threads of our lives together into a blanket of warmth and security - no matter how close or far apart we are. 

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