The results still aren't in, but ...

That whole "nail in the coffin" of having bio kids seems to be about to be hammered in just a little further as I get older.

Good thing adopting has always been strong on my radar. I've never really had a strong desire to have anything look like me, but it would (admittedly) have been cool to tell my husband that he's going to be a father and to go through the craziness that is pregnancy. But as both of those (having a husband and being pregnant) look like distant future things at this point in time, I'm just coping with what I know.

Why am I discussing this on a blog?

Because these are the silent things women go through and DON'T talk about, which often leave us feeling like less of a woman because we aren't "normal". There is nothing more frustrating than hearing about a teenager "oops" and get pregnant, and couples that try and try for years and suffer through the heart break of not being able to concieve. I never want any of my female readers to have that "I'm less than a woman" or "I'm on the outside looking in" about these physical things that are simply beyond our relm to control.

So right now I'm holding my breath, subjecting my self to some labs and ultrasounds, and - well - I'm reasonably ticked off at The Big Man Upstairs because I'm not getting my way about things in life.

And if there is one being that can handle one bent out of shape woman -it's God.