Thursday, April 30, 2009

"See? I told you so!"

My number at the expo (6/14/08)
Recently, Boxer Girl (another friend of mine) brought to my attention a quote:
"Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right."

I know in my life, this is definately true.

When I drive into the office, dreading my day, and something doesn't go my way, my negative attitude beams with pride. The little voice in my head picks any number of the following responses: "See?! I told ya you should have stayed in bed today. Nothing will go your way. Ha! The world's got it out for you today. You suck!" And my funk deepens as I come to expect the worst will continue to happen to me. Any tiny triumph is very fleeting and I subconciously set myself up to fail. I call this "self-sabotage" (and as my wellness journal will show later today, I've been REALLY good at that lately).

When I drive into the office, expecting to have a good day, and something goes my way, even if it's a tiny "Thank you" from a co-worker, or a completed task, my inner Polly Anna does a dance of joy. That same evil little voice blurts out a, "See?! I told you so! Everything is going to be okay! Good things are comin'. Good things! I can feel 'em!" When something doesn't go my way, whether it's big or small, I'm more apt to see it as a challenge or obstacle to overcome.

I find it funny how that predisposition - that first choice when I get out bed, can set the tone for the entire day.

Everyone needs a good honest friend to translate what we're really saying. I love Sista' Girl for that reason. We get to do that to one another and it's great. If I say, "I can't" do something, it probably really means that "I don't want to do it badly enough" or "I'm scared of that." And we catch each other on that stuff all the time. It's really helpful when one of us calls the other out on things we really just don't want to do or are too scared to do. If I understand that she's scared of something, I can build her up and support her and be there for her. If I understand that she doesn't want to do something - well, we're both stubborn and ain't nothin' gonna move that boot!

So I'll end this blog with a quote I learned in High School that really brought me hope:

"What would you do if you KNEW you couldn't fail?"

I went into last year's Danskin Women's Triathlon not really thinking I could do it. All I knew was that for me, quitting was not an option. During each event, early on into each, I kept hitting that mental brick wall. I found myself rationalizing quitting. "It's too hard." "I can't." "I'm hurt." Like Randy Pausch said, "The brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They are there to stop the other people." Moment by moment, I got through that feeling and just kept going.

And ya know what? I dragged my 5'8, 200lb, out of shape body through it.
Free from the water leg!


Damn that last hill!
I didn't pose for any of the above photos. That's the true, unexpected joy of triumph because I underestimated myself...for years.
I'm eternally grateful to my friend, Bon-Bon, for pushing me out of my comfort zone to do it. She has left a hand print on my heart, and a milestone in my life.
Do what you don't think you can do- just to prove you can. Prove to who? Yourself. As I focus on the upcoming triathlon this year, that's exactly what I intend to do (and I intend to do it at my best shape in years, but that's for the wellness blog).

Embrace those who push you to excell. They are your true friends who are just waiting to say, "See?! I told you so," when you succeed!

Flexing muscles after the race
(Will be posting the official, complete, triathlon blog on my wellness page soon!)


  1. Found you through thatdisneygirl's blog...fantastic writing and so true.

  2. Jay - you are a strong determined woman - I always figure you CAN do it!

  3. I love you sis! You're amazing, and yes, you CAN do it, you ok I'll stop there. Cant wait to munch on bear meat with you soon! And you know what? I truly believe that with us supporting each other we can't fail. This year's tri is only the first little step on the HUGE mountain of greatness we're climbing. I know I couldn't do it without my sister. :)

  4. Ugh....You brought tears to my eyes. I love you soo much. And I love your writing. I will definitely need to share this with all of my fellow triathletes that are racing with me this summer. Here's a BIG hug!!!! :)

  5. Luvslikepi- Welcome a-board! Thanks for checking me out and for the great comment!

    Disneylassie - I was named after the bionic woman after all, right?

    Anonymous (aka Sista' Girl) - Love you too!

    Bon-bon - :) Glad you're out there inspiring others! :) You wouldn't be "you" if you didn't have that contagious enthusiasim!