Memories/Strategies to Stay Sane during Hell Week

It's officially "hell week" for Into The Woods- the musical I'm in. Just what is 'hell week'? In case you haven't been following the blog, that's dress rehearsal every night the week before opening.  It's the week the Tech crew dives in and learns when and how the sets need to be changed, the lighting and sound folks learn their cues, we actors figure out what make up works and doesn't work under stage lights, and the customer gets the final threads and props together. It requires a lot of patience, but it's also a really exciting time. For the first time, we really get to see how things come together!

That said, this week, my schedule is bordering on complete insanity. See, My Sailor's dad is coming over from Michigan to spend the weekend with us and my parents are coming up from California to spend the weekend in Seattle. Oh, did I mention it's My Sailor's Dad's birthday and my parents 40th wedding anniversary, and opening night for my show all in 1 weekend?

To get some time off to spend with my loved ones, I'm working 10 hour days Monday - Thursday this week. I'll get off work in time to throw some food down my throat and head off to the theater. And let's not forget my 5k challenge! Looks like that will happen via late nights at the gym. Why am I not skipping those work outs "just for this week"? Because I have a funny feeling they will be the ONLY thing keeping me sane!

Well, that and some good memories.

See, whenever I need a vacation (and boy, do I ever!), I recall vacations/trips of old and let myself marinade in the memories sometimes. Lately, I've been thinking of the very first RBT (Roasted Bear Tour) in 2009, where Sista' Girl and I went to Disney World together. It was such an amazing week! Disney World is truly at it's most magical during the holidays. I even remember our sore feet and joints with a nostalgic fondness now. So I thought I'd include a few pictures from that trip in this post.

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
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Can't wait for the 2012 trip! It's TOO far away!

My view on Good Health practices

I used to hate my scale. I used to either feel disgusting or elated on Weigh In Day, depending on what that number on the scale said.

Well, I can't quite put into words what changed, over the past few months, my mind has changed completely. I've gone from being frustrated with the scale to seeing it as a tool to help me measure my overall fitness. But it's just one tool of many. The most important tool is how I feel.

When I something healthy for my body, I generally find I have sense of well being. When I go for a work out, even though I really didn't feel like it, I know I'm doing something good for myself and I feel stronger - not just physically, but on every level - emotionally, spiritually, etc.

Every time I have a crisp delicious homemade green salad, I feel a small sense of peace and satisfaction.

Every time I get on the scale (which is still nearly daily), and it goes up or down a pound, my mood doesn't change. The result no longer rules my day. It takes 3500 calories beyond my 1200/day to gain a pound of fat in 1 day. I don't eat nearly that much on a REALLY off day, so I know I'm heading the right direction, even if it says it's up a few pounds. Water and muscles are heavy, after all. In fact, I only "count" my LOWEST weight during any given month as my weight for that month. And ya know what? It works! Even if I only lose 1 pound/month, it's a pound in the right direction!(For the record, since June I'm down from 211 to 206.) Weekly weigh-ins just don't seem to work well for me, so I found something that did.

When I break out the tape measure once a month - then I'm looking forward to the results! I see them every day in the way my clothes fit, so the tape measure has been my best tool to remind me that I'm going the right direction. Since I only do this once a month, I stay motivated to make good decisions.


Life is a journey - an adventure. The longer I make healthier decisions, the healthier I'll be and the longer I'll be around for My Sailor, my loved ones, and all the adventures to come.

To sum up, I've learned that:
1) I can't control everything that happens in my body. But I can choose to control the fuels I put in, the rest I give it, and the amount of work I make it do. Everything else, from my ability or inability to get pregnant to the high cholesterol I can't seem to find a cause for,is beyond my control - so Hakuna Matata to that. (DISCLAIMER: I also come from the school of thought of "medicine only when absolutely necessary". Working in the medical field has taught me that doctors are just people "practicing" medicine. We really don't know enough to say we're "doing" medicine yet. We probably never will.)
2) 'Perfection' isn't a number on a scale. Happiness isn't a waist size. And being lovable has nothing to do with the amount of junk in the trunk. It's all to do with what you believe. I may never be "perfect". I'll always be a work in progress, but I'm okay with that. Am I happy with myself? When I make good and healthy decisions - YES. Am I worthy of love? Completely. I believe you can't give what you don't have. Giving what you don't have is God's realm. But giving yourself the gift of care, just as you'd take care of someone you love, is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself - 'cause truly, it keeps on giving!
3) If I do the work, the results will follow. I find if I focus on the results I want, it's easy to get discouraged. If I focus on just the simple task ahead (like picking out a healthy lunch, or going for a walk one step at a time), I find myself capable of more than my mind thought I could do!

I know as long as I do the work the weight will come off - eventually.

All We Are We Are

Lately, I've been listening to my Matt Nathanson station on Pandora when I've gone running and I've discovered more than a few great songs that I love. But this one rang true for me in SO many ways, so I thought I'd share it here. Turn up your speakers, turn down the lights, and enjoy.

A Workout update! The 5k/30 day challenge!

I had a great talk with Warrior Woman (one of My Sailor's awesome sisters) and in the end, it inspired me. See, she works full time, has a young child, and a husband with a conflicting schedule and she STILL manages to run a 5k every morning! Pretty impressive, eh?

So, instead of running the occasional 5k and "hoping" somehow I'll magically be ready for many of the events I want to do, I've decided I seriously need to invest in finishing these events if I'm going to attempt them. And that means I need to put the proper preparation in. After all, refusing to prepare is the same as preparing to fail.

My new challenge? DO 5K EVERY DAY FOR THE NEXT 30 DAYS.

Now, I'm giving myself the following guidelines:
This can be run, jogged, walked, or done on the elliptical.

Monthly Measurement days will remain the same (the 17th of each month).
Weight will be recorded once a month, and the lowest weight during the month will be recorded.

So I started TODAY! Clydas and I walked for about a quarter mile (so he could pee and we could warm up).  We ran the rest of the way at about 6mph, which was pretty awesome! So I have 2 more laps around my complex to complete the 5k. My Sailor might be around this evening, so I might rope him into doing it with me, but if not, it shouldn't take me more than 20 minutes.

Making my health a priority has taken a big shift in my mindset over the past few years, so this feels like the natural next step.

I'm not too worried about the number on the scale at this point. I'm counting my calories (you can find my daily food and work out diaries at MyFitnessPal.com, look for JDRBT) and doing the work, so the pounds should eventually fall off. It's just a matter of time and consistency. Do the work, and the rewards will follow.

I checked my years worth of weight records on MyFitnessPal and it showed that I'm UNDER where I was in April. Not by much, but I'm getting there. So if I keep on keepin' on, I should be right on target to reach my goals next year.

Bride going Natural

Only after midnight on a night when I should totally already be in bed asleep would I be posting a blog about make up.

If you know me at all, you know that perfection in fashion is not my thing. Sure, I like to look "put together" when I go out, but I'm not the type that has to  wear make up all the time, or the type that has a closet full of clothes and "nothing to wear". As a testament to that, My Sailor and I share closet space, and I take up about the same amount of room he does, and the closet doesn't even take up an entire wall. My wardrobe consists mostly of jeans and t shirts or sweaters, and a few nice tops scattered in.

That said, I'm not a complete dunce. I'm good at doing every day make up, and I can do theatrical and special occasion make up from time to time, but wedding make up? That makes me a doubt my skills just about completely. It's not THAT different, except it's going to be photographed A LOT so if the light isn't reflecting right or things aren't bending appropriately, you will notice.

I know, you're probably thinking "So hire someone". But this is a corner I think I can cut without any ill effects. I mean, why pay someone $200 to come and do hair and make up when I can do that myself? $200 is like 2 days of fine dining for us on our much deserved honeymoon! $200 is a Wild Africa Trek and then some!  Besides, I figure since I'm going for a natural look, I can figure out how to do this on my own - and it'll give me something to do other than sit there and direct a complete stranger on what I want done with my appearance on my wedding day.

So I found this great video on The Disney Wedding Blog (if you love Disney and romance, check this blog out - LOVE some of the earlier entries, but we're featured in a guest post too!).

How cool is that? That said, I don't really care for the eyes she's done... BUT I was given another great suggestion by a friend on Facebook:
"This is what I did for our wedding. Just go into one of those make up stores (I did bare minerals) and get a "make over" tell them it's for your wedding and have them show you what they are doing. Then just buy something or everything if you want and just do your makeup yourself! I had someone put my eyelashes on, but the rest I just did myself. Once you have your makeup and they show you how to do it, just practice until you get it the way you want it."
Why didn't I think of that?! Oh yeah, because I've never actually HAD a make over! Yes, I've survived 31+ years w/o a make over. I've had my make up done by a pro before, but most of my experiences have been for stage or with plenty of practice runs.


And with that craziness, I bid you goodnight! er... Morning!

Minor disappointments and becoming more like Mom

So, there was no game night last night. My Sailor didn't get off work until about 9pm. By then, he was exhausted. After work, I did nearly all the housework (need to finish cleaning the bathroom) and folded laundry while I waited for him to get off. Yeah, I was disappointed, but he only had an hour and a half of waking time left by the time we got home. So game night will probably happen next week. This week sounds like a bunch of long hours and nights away from home.

Boo hiss.

However, it gave me a good chance to chat with my mom for a while. She caught me up on how things are going back in my home town. And the more we started to talk, the more I noticed the similarities in our lives. And ya know what? I'm kinda proud to be becoming like my mom.

For example, in my youth I felt so inadequate that I was always afraid that anyone I cared for would realize I'm not what they want and leave. And I mean "anyone". Friends, family, lovers, etc. I was on a constant track to try to impress them all and make them happy so that they'd keep me around. I discovered that a lot of this had to do with my own insecurities, and a run-away issue of abandonment (a common issue among adoptees).

One thing that came along with this was a BAD case of jealousy. The green eyed monster was quite a challenge for me when I was younger.

Now, I've taken some risks that panned out, and I have a lot more confidence behind me. And it's a MUCH more comfortable place to be - let me tell you! If there is something I don't like about myself, I don't worry that someone else will see my flaws. I just do what I can to take care of the issue for myself.

Anyway, since My Sailor's schedule is so crazy (and cell phones aren't allowed), I'm glad for the confidence and security I feel here. Other than the usual military family worries (such as, "I hope he's healthy," etc) I don't worry about us. I'm confident we'll make the best of our time together, and that we'll be okay - whenever he gets home. I understand more now how my mom must feel when my dad travels for work. It is what it is and you make the most of what life has given you.

I can't wait to help them celebrate 40 years together in 2 weeks when they come to visit!

Things I'm excited about tonight!

Sharing with you the Pacific Northwest Highland games! We went on Saturday, so click here. to check it out!  


Working out! I'm finally not sick anymore (or at least practically recovered) and I can't wait to work out and actually kick my butt a bit. We just picked up Dance Dance Revolution and I'm NOT good enough at it to get a good work out out of it, but it's a great way to work on my coordination. Just by increasing my work outs I'm seeing some changes in my legs that I'm very happy with, as well as some changes in my overall shape.

GAME NIGHT tonight! We're breaking in Pirate's Life! It's a version of the Life board game, but it's based on Pirates of the Caribbean (the attraction, not the film series). It's a Disney Theme Park Exclusive game that I found on Ebay for a STEAL! (Get it? Pirates? Steal? I know... I'm not very funny, but I do try!) We're going to fold laundry and get things cleaned up a bit here and then relax to some awesome games and delicious wine. I can't wait!

Checking it out from the side w/ side ponytail (2)

 

Added to a French Braid (1)

Wedding decisions made! Okay, so I've had my hand-made hair clip I found on Etsy.com kicking around here for a while, my mom has my gown safely stored at her house, and we have a venue and date range picked out, I feel like I can make some decisions now! YEAH!!!!! I decided on a bridesmaids gown for my ladies and shared it with them today, and I'm also thinking about all those other style things that are more personal decisions than anything else. For example, yesterday I was figuring out how to make the fan I'll be carrying instead of flowers. I've been keeping my eyes peeled for lanterns for my girls to carry (instead of flowers, since it'll be an evening ceremony - after all, flowers die! These they can keep!). AND I've been toying with my hair. Though I'm in dire need of a haircut, here were some ideas I played with. I think the French braid one is my favorite so far. LOVE the way it looks from behind - but then again, I like the way the way #2 looks too. What do ya'll think? My dress is ivory with a band of Clover (per Alfred Angelo) on the neckline (and other places). Weigh in! 

Side ponytail (3)

Just holding one side back (4)